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-   -   Need some serious help (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/need-some-serious-help-20971/)

The-Iceberg 04-25-2017 05:20 AM

Need some serious help
 
Hi

My son missed a lot of school. A LOT. Many lates too. 95 of all lates and missed days were from my home, not mothers.

The reason is, for most days it was due to my illness. The sickness is subsiding but the damage has been done.

My ex wants full custody and change of schools from my area to hers (30 minutes away) because she said I am not able to care for the child.

I am not going to let that happen.....if I can. Any idea on what to do, what to say in court once she files?

Thanks

Berner_Faith 04-25-2017 07:10 AM

Umm didn't you fight to keep the child in your area for school and now the child has missed 95 days of school? That is 3 months of school the child has missed, sorry but I would also be seeking a change in residency.

If you were too sick to take your child to school how could you even care for your child properly? I'm not sure how you could possibly convince a judge that 95 days is acceptable because you were sick.


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LovingFather32 04-25-2017 08:21 AM

Firstly, I apologize on Berner's behalf for her lack of empathy. I'm sorry to hear about your illness my friend, it must not be easy. Having said that, mom has a pretty solid case to switch residency. The child needs constant routine, stability and to make it to school on time. If you couldn't do it then perhaps you could have found some support that could for you.

I hope you get better. Take care.

involveddad75 04-25-2017 08:33 AM

I need more information, how many were complete missed days? and how many were late days? How late were they? Also what is the timeframe of these events.

What steps have to put in place or what resources have you looked into to facilitate you child getting to school? Is there a bus that can take you child to school? If you live too close, but is on the bus route you maybe able to have the school board make an exception and pickup the child on route provided the route doesn't have to change.

How old is the child? What are the issues surrounding the reasons why the child is late?

Lastly and most importantly how is your child doing in school? What are their marks? What is the school's position?

This sort of information can help create arguments and responses to what might be put before the courts.

Janus 04-25-2017 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The-Iceberg (Post 219762)
she said I am not able to care for the child.

Getting the child to school is a key part of taking care of the child.

Quote:

I am not going to let that happen.....if I can.
Why not? You said your illness is "subsiding", that means that it is still around. You are a risk to your child's future. Let it happen. Not everyone can be a good parent.

Imagine you said "I'm sick so my kid has missed eating, A LOT." Would that be acceptable? School is not much different.

Quote:

Any idea on what to do, what to say in court once she files?
"On consent, I agree with the mother's motion"


...that said, if you actually intend to fight this, then I think you need to hire somebody to bring the kid to school in the morning. That solves the problem completely. I'm actually surprised that you haven't done this already. If you can't bring the kid to school yourself, then you hire somebody to bring the kid to school.

Much like I work, so I can't bring the kid to school, so I pay somebody to bring my kid to school. This isn't a tricky situation, you are making something out of nothing.

Then you can stand up in court and say "Last year was terrible, but I have hired somebody and therefore this will never happen again. Due to stability for the child, status quo, etc etc nothing should change".

paris 04-25-2017 10:34 AM

I don't think it's 95 days. I think he was saying 95%.

In another thread you said your ex caved and let you keep the school zone and that you would have 50/50 custody. You seemed pretty sure that she wouldn't be able to get him to school in the winter and you would be able to gain full custody because of that.

I was confused by your post at first, and in reading your other posts on other threads. Was thinking I had no idea that Iceberg is ill (possibly mental illness) and has issues with his ex having sex with her bf while the child is in her home. I then realized there are 2 forum users here with the same name.

Back to your issue at hand. Not sending your child to school is huge in the courts eyes. Your only defence is that your illness prevented you from getting the child to school. You will likely lose custody and school district.

I think you should consider agreeing to a custody arrangement that puts the child in Mom's district.

Berner_Faith 04-25-2017 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingFather32 (Post 219764)
Firstly, I apologize on Berner's behalf for her lack of empathy. I'm sorry to hear about your illness my friend, it must not be easy. Having said that, mom has a pretty solid case to switch residency. The child needs constant routine, stability and to make it to school on time. If you couldn't do it then perhaps you could have found some support that could for you.

I hope you get better. Take care.



He didn't ask for empathy but glad to see lovingfather came to the rescue again [emoji849]


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stripes 04-25-2017 05:54 PM

Is there any evidence that Dad tried to resolve the situation (e.g. communication with the school about the lateness and absence, looking for other ways to get Kid to school on time, showing that he was concerned about the amount of school Kid was missing and tried to do something about it)? If so, he might be able to work something out with Mom. If not - if he ignored the situation until the school year was almost over - then I agree with other posters, he's not able to take care of Kid at present and Mom should have full custody.

stripes 04-25-2017 05:55 PM

Is "the sickness" substance abuse or addiction? If so, if Dad can show that he is adhering to a treatment program and not drinking/using, he might be able to argue that he will be able to take better care of Kid in the future.

rockscan 04-25-2017 06:02 PM

The empathy comment was unnecessary. Especially since this poster has made many comments about his ex and her inability to properly care for the child. Im referring specifically to the comments about her sex life. Its obvious the two of you are now on equal footing as it relates to ability to care for your child.

Thats not to say that she should suddenly take the child away. This might be an opportunity for some humble pie and a serious attempt to work together. 95 lates/absences is really poor form ill or not. You should have had some support in place to help you out.

Agree with others that if you arent going to give up custody then you need to do some serious leg work to prove your illness was unexpected, under control and has no impact on your childs well being.


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