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JimJames90 06-05-2017 12:49 PM

Need Some Insight
 
Hello everyone,

Currently my mother is seeking a divorce, but it's rather a complicated scenario and we are worried that my father will try to take advantage of the situation. They're both 60yrs old, have been married for almost 35 years, one child (me), and have never been separated. My mother did work before I was born and a little bit in between, but for the most part she's been a stay at home mom. Last time she worked was probably 20yrs ago.

So the complicated stuff... My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's about five years ago and does receive a disability for that while still working. He's been using his diagnosis quite a bit to his advantage to get away with whatever he wants. The best way to explain it, he's created quite a toxic environment at home. There is no physical abuse, but mentally for both my mom and I, it's incredibly stressful. If there is a serious disagreement or something doesn't go his way, he'll go off to the doctor and we have absolutely no idea what goes on. He has been keeping us away from his doctor visits and at one point he was required to visit a psychologist which only lasted 10 visits at the very most.

We are worried that he would use this to his advantage during a divorce. Is that possible? Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thank you in advance.

JimJames90 06-07-2017 02:14 AM

Can anyone provide any insight?

standing on the sidelines 06-07-2017 02:32 AM

He has every right not to allow you or your mother at his doctors appointments. If it is so bad for your mom can she move in with you to make it easier on her?

Is there property or investments that need to be equalized?

JimJames90 06-07-2017 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines (Post 221338)
He has every right not to allow you or your mother at his doctors appointments. If it is so bad for your mom can she move in with you to make it easier on her?

Is there property or investments that need to be equalized?

Thank you for the reply. I currently live at home. The house we are currently living in does have a mortgage and was verbally giving to me. They're covering the mortgage for now, they originally intended to find a house for themselves while this one is being renovated. So all three of us live together. My mother doesn't have any other family here either.

standing on the sidelines 06-07-2017 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimJames90 (Post 221339)
Thank you for the reply. I currently live at home. The house we are currently living in does have a mortgage and was verbally giving to me. They're covering the mortgage for now, they originally intended to find a house for themselves while this one is being renovated. So all three of us live together. My mother doesn't have any other family here either.

well you may as well forget about getting the house, verbal doesnt mean a thing plus with them still covering the mortgage it is still their house that will have to be sold for equalization or one will have to buy the other out.

Maybe you can make a formal offer to buy the house now from them at fair market value?

JimJames90 06-07-2017 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines (Post 221345)
well you may as well forget about getting the house, verbal doesnt mean a thing plus with them still covering the mortgage it is still their house that will have to be sold for equalization or one will have to buy the other out.

Maybe you can make a formal offer to buy the house now from them at fair market value?

When the house was originally bought I did put some money down on it, along with paying for some of the renovations, and have put down extra money on the mortgage. I would think that would be recorded at the bank from which account the money came from. My mom said she wants to keep her promise, but I guess it would be her word against his.

standing on the sidelines 06-07-2017 11:27 AM

It may be recorded at the bank you had some transactions but nothing was legally wrote up. Did you pay any rent to your parents? Your dad will probably say it was in lieu of rent. You are right it is her/your word against his. Unless your parents are wealthy a judge will be questioning how they afford to gift a home to a adult then go get another mortgage to buy another home for themselves. The judge will probably think that you and your mom are trying to pull a fast one to make sure your father gets nothing from the house. Your mother should talk to a lawyer.


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