need some advice on what to do

[sbjune84]

i am engaged to a wonderful man who has a daughter from a previous relationship, we are going for joint custody but the mother is not being cooperative at all, she is trying to say that he is not the father but there is no doubt in my mind at all that she is his the look identical, we know we will have to pay for a DNA test before it will go anywheres in court but his x is trying to say that even if it comes back that she is his she will never allow him access to the lil princess , we can not afford a lawyer because of everything else going on at the moment does anyone have any advice for us and what we should do ... ( we have tried to go to legal aid but they said that he made to much money ) we are in need of some advice any advice at all would be greatly appreciated because we really want to be able to see his little girl we haven't seen her since december of 2008

[enoughalready]

Do you both understand once he proves he is the father you will be paying the mother childsupport. Joint custody or not he will be paying her based on his income.

[sbjune84]

yes we understand that he will be paying child support and we are fully ready to pay the support as long as we get to see the child

[enoughalready]

That is really noble of him and I respect that. The courts on the other had will award support for her ,but no one will enforce whether or not he will have access to the child or not. You maybe paying and not seeing the child. I have seen this happen. I have a friend who pays his ex for 2 children and they are both living with him. Does that make any sense. Our court system isn't really a system it is just rolling the dice. Depends on how the judge feels that day. I had a case conference once and one judge told me he would make me pay and extra $200.00 a month. And two days later the other judge granted her nothing. So how can it be a fair system with such different outcomes. The system is gear for the support recipient and not the payor.