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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 08-09-2015, 11:46 PM
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Default My ex's lawyer requesting information, do I have to give it?

This might sound like a silly question here, but to be brief, my ex and I signed a consent letter back September where I had primary physical custody of our son in exchange that I give her a lump sum of several thousand dollars.

We went back to court in March and she self represented to dispute it. However, judge only gave her more time but still I have primary physical and we are joint legal.

At this point, she has a lawyer now and has constantly been threatening me, so today she texts me that to say that, her lawyer wants all records of all email transfers I've given her and all child care receipts since I gave her the lump sum in September.

I asked her who the lawyer is and she said nope, I have to ask him if I can tell you, *this sounds so stupid who does that?*

I am speculating here that they somehow building a case for retroactive child support not sure how but regardless, we are heading back to court in September again?

My question, I do not have to give this information unless the judge requests it in September correct as he has to determine if it's relevant?

She then said her lawyer will send me demand letter....uhh I also don't have to listen to this right? I'm self represented now btw.


Thank you,

Last edited by FirstTimer; 08-10-2015 at 12:41 AM. Reason: wrong forum
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Old 08-10-2015, 12:43 AM
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Why would you not give her the information about child care? If she is contributing financially towards child care, surely she has the right to see where the money is being spent? And even if she isn't, where is the harm? If the child is living primarily with you, she wouldn't be paying CS anyway, so I'm not sure how she can make a case for retroactive child support.

As for email money transfers, she must have her own records of receiving the money, so I don't see what she's looking for from you?
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Old 08-10-2015, 01:10 AM
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The main reason is I do not trust her, she doesn't tell me why nor even give me the name of her lawyer.

She has insinuated that I am a child molester, drug head, etc...this is the same person that was emailing the new person I was seeing at her work emial, and telling me that she is going to sue her for saying bad things about her in front of S4. (when she has no evidence), also threatened that she will get her lawyer to make my new gf to come to mediation.

We called the cops, as she was harassing the new gf through her work email. The cop talked to her and she told the cop that she can do whatever she wants.

My ex is low income, so she pays her childcare portion through the child subsidy. I pay the rest. She knows exactly how much childcare is per month so she can do the math and get receipts from the school.

As for email transfers, same exact thing, she can pull it herself as she is the recipient. I wasn't even giving her CS, I was giving her money when she needed help. And no she wasn't even paying CS.

None of this makes sense to me as what is the purpose and not telling me why as she has access to this information.

If this is a strategic play to get me to do retroactive, then I will counter that she never paid any CS even though I had him primary....but I didn't because I feel bad for her.

However, this is who she is and has mentioned that even though I had our son primary, she is still entitled to child support because she makes less....

Last edited by FirstTimer; 08-10-2015 at 01:15 AM.
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Old 08-10-2015, 07:11 AM
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I am confused... if you had majority of the access why were you paying her CS? How can she go after retro?
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Old 08-10-2015, 09:05 AM
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Sorry, read it again. No, I was never paying child support after Sept 2014.

And I never went after her for child support either. Throughout the months, I did send her money here and there.

Maybe I'm being paranoid then. I just don't understand why they want a record of all e-mail transfers and if I am obligated to provide it.
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Old 08-10-2015, 09:09 AM
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lawyer perhaps asked her to provide him/her with these records and she's merely looking for you to do it for her?

Ignore. If your ex's lawyer wants something he/she can request it through your lawyer.
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Old 08-10-2015, 03:22 PM
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Good point Arabian.

Thank you!
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Old 08-10-2015, 03:45 PM
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Just as an FYI FirstTimer if she has retained council and you are self-represented you only communicate via her lawyer not her directly anymore. If her lawyer is requesting something you will receive a letter stating so including that said lawyer has been retained to represent her.

I would just ignore the ex and ask politelythat her retained council contacts you if you are self-represented.
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Old 08-10-2015, 04:08 PM
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Agreed with Reality - at this point her lawyer isn't requesting anything, she is. If this is a new lawyer, I believe she has to file a change in representation and you will receive notification from her lawyer that (s)he has been retained. Going forward, all non-child care related communication goes through the lawyer.

I would simply reply as Reality suggested, that should she have a lawyer and her lawyer wants anything that she have her lawyer get in touch with you and put an end to her game.
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Old 08-10-2015, 08:43 PM
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Thank you again!
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