My ex is living in our mortgage free home. I want my down payment now.

[Tuckeroo]

Hello everyone

I am new to this forum so bear with me while I figure this site out. Thanks!

In Feb 2010, while I was in the hospital, I received a 3 line email ending our 18 year marriage. I was told to find a place to stay because he was going to buy me out. Nice eh!

It has been 21 months and I am getting nowhere in terms of a settlement and since he is living there mortgage free he is in no hurry. I have not seen a single dime.

I have had to rent until I get my money from my half of the bricks and mortar. I can't even verbalize how angry I am that he is getting away with holding me hostage financially and making it impossible to even look for a house until I can force at least what I need for a down payment. He is banking money left right and center with no mortgage to pay and I am having to withdraw from my RRSP's just to stay afloat. He wins - I lose.

I am disabled, diagnosed 7 years ago with epilepcy and 2 years ago diagnosed with MS. It is very important that I find just the right condo, buy it, move and get settled. My health is suffering because of the pressures of depleting my retirement investment and the stress of this whole ludicrous nightmare. Stress is one of the worst things for me.

I know where I want to buy and it has been over 4 years since one was on the market. It is the model I want in the location I want and it is immaculate. I want and need and deserve to buy that home for many different reasons.

But I can't until I get some of my money out of him and that isn't going to be soon enough because he is just not bargaining in good faith and is in no hurry.

There has got to be some way to demand at least my share of the house. Is it making a motion for an advance? How can I force him to give me my money? I can't believe our legal system wll back him up and force me to contine to deplete my assets while he is increasing his.

If anyone knows a way - no matter how obscure, please reply to my post. At this point I am desparate for the laws to start backing me up and remove his ability to control my life.

Thanks! I appreciate any help you might have.

[Pursuinghappiness]

I have some similarities with you...and I'm wondering, where the hell is your lawyer?

He can't offer to buy you out then make no move to do so in a huge length of time while you pay the mortgage. You need to get a motion filed stating either that either buys you out in a determined length of time or the house is put up for sale.

State your health reasons, financial reasons, back it up with a letter from your doctor and all withdrawals showing what you're paying and that you're depleting your RRSP savings.

The motion will also have to specify that if you sell, the monies from that sale will not be held in trust and will be released to you so that you can purchase a new home.

Talk to your lawyer and get it started...you can bring a motion right now.