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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-25-2017, 12:39 PM
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Default My 1st CC Didn't Go Well. What To Do On My 2nd?

Well folks. As most of you likely already know, my 1st case conference was an absolute disaster. Now I seek your knowledgeable advice on what to do, with my next case conference fast approaching in April. Long story short, I commenced a process back in October, filing a motion to terminate CS under the advice of duty counsel from FLIC. The outcome of the 1st CC back in January, heard by A. W. J. Sullivan was my CS got increased from $610 to $738. My ex-bitch decided to put me through FRO since she implied that there were "problems" as she puts it. The temporary variation to the original SA is the aforementioned CS increase along with stipulation that I submit my T4 for the next CC (which I just received this week), and the we are to exchange financial information every year (barring no other subsequent variations until then).

Here is the background to my situation. My son (whom I haven't had contact with since 2007 for reasons I can't fathom to this day) will be turning 20 this July. For in-depth details, please read the first few posts of this thread to get a better picture:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-paying-20320/

Now, to add to this, this is the financial situation. My last year's income was about $81,924. My partner's income has been sporadic, as she is just starting out into a similar profession to mine. She starts her new job this Wednesday. We have three (her) children living with us, ages D15, S17 and D18. Her oldest is presently working P/T for a grocery store while attending the very same learning institution as my son, to increase the marks on three of her already completed courses to University acceptance level. So, she already has her HS diploma completed. My son does NOT. My ex-bitch's income is $17,448 (she's been on ODSP since we parted ways in the early 2000's).

During the first CC, the aforementioned judge didn't seem to have a problem being convinced by the ex-bitch that our son should still be considered a "child of marriage", based upon his present schooling arrangement. She didn't even submit any documents (to my knowledge) that our son has any disability of any sort, that would explain why can't complete his HS in a more expeditious manner (at 1 credit per year???). The judge had a smile on his face when commenting on the fact that I have a "healthy" income.

Therefore, my questions are, what do I do for the next CC? My ex-bitch is obviously extremely resistant to the idea of having CS terminated at any point in time for whatever reason. Although my income is "healthy", it's far from infinite that I would have the means to lawyer up. I may just have to adjourn the next CC until I can somehow scrape up the funds to retain one to attend the next CC. My problem is I "froze". I have difficulty speaking in front of an audience. I was more fixated on ensuring proper etiquette while my ex-bitch kept interrupting anything I had to say to the judge. The judge didn't seem to be keen to my suggestion that our son should be working at his age to contribute to his own support. Should I be much more aggressive next time? Should I bluntly come out and say to the judge that this useless excuse for a human being (ex-bitch) is simply using our son as a means to collect money off of me for an indefinite period of time, instead of genuinely being concerned for his "best interests"? His present arrangement is that he is scheduled to attend the learning institution for a total of SIX hours per week for three courses. Now that semester 2 is already well under way, I wouldn't be surprised if he has only completed ONE of those three courses, if even that!!!

In in nutshell, the ex-bitch just wants to "keep the money flowing in" indefinitely as I see it. There HAS TO be an end to this. My son, I honestly don't foresee having any meaningful, genuine contact with him, since I'm sure he is heavily influenced by his mother by now. Up to what point will the courts allow, or encourage this to continue? Will my present living arrangements influence to court's position (the fact that I have three children living with us, for whom we receive no CS for)? Thank you all.
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Old 02-25-2017, 03:07 PM
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Why does your current partner not receive CS for her children? What has she done to obtain CS? Is there a current CS Order in place?

With this in mind, your current "living arrangement" could indeed influence the court's decision... to continue CS for your son.
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Old 02-25-2017, 03:31 PM
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I've been together with my current partner since March of 2004, moved in and lived with since September of the same year. She is presently in the midst of obtaining a divorce from him. Their SA stipulated that she have custody of the three, while he pays $610 (for the three). He has never been steadily employed. Worked several "under the table" type jobs, changed addresses more times than we can count. Apparently his DL has been suspended for years. So in answer to your question, nothing has been done in an attempt to collect CS from this man. One can't get blood from a stone. Last I heard, this man hasn't filed taxes for the last five, going on six years if this paints a clear picture of this individual. But how will this affect MY situation, is my question if any?
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Old 02-25-2017, 04:03 PM
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how much does your partner make? What has been her average annual salary since 2004?

I think your partner and you should be "certain" of financial situation of the father of her children. Be prepared to show that there is indeed a current order for arrears for child support. If the order is not with FRO then you are SOL. Did you know that they put people in jail for not paying child support? How far has the collection process gone? Losing a drivers' license for some isn't a big deal, particularly if they don't own a car.

Sounds like you are supporting everyone...
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Old 02-25-2017, 04:31 PM
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She has been collecting baby bonus for her three since we've been living together. But due to the ages of her three, she has already lost her baby bonus for the oldest, and about to lose it for S17 in June (when he turns 18). She's been working at a few different places during the last couple of years. She only just recently acquired her DL thanks to me. She is about to start yet another new job this Wednesday. Yes, I am aware that there is jail for those who default on their support obligations, but what does that achieve? As already stated, one can't get blood from a stone. And again, what really is this going to do for my situation? Not that it matters, but her three want nothing to do with their father. And I can't say I blame them. My son likely wants nothing to do with me either. His mother just wants my money.
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Old 02-25-2017, 04:42 PM
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Well I'm sure your current partner would like money from her ex as well.

Perhaps you should focus your energy on this?

.... and getting your current partner to carry her own weight and support her own children? (wouldn't surprise me if she is the one egging you on to cut off support for your son).

My ex is living with a chronically unemployed person (just like you) as well. She has made no effort to collect SS from her ex (same uncorroborated crapola that you've heard about your partner's ex, minus the DL loss) and is quite proud of this stating, self-righteously that she doesn't believe in SS. I find people who take this stance are usually the ones who are leaching off of someone. Sound familiar?
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Old 02-25-2017, 05:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Well I'm sure your current partner would like money from her ex as well.
Nope. After very sporadic, small amounts of money paid by her ex to her, she has long given up the battle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian
Perhaps you should focus your energy on this?
Again, how and what for? Putting her ex in jail isn't going to achieve anything to help our cause in the least, financially or otherwise. Again, this individual doesn't have a pot to piss in. How much, if any financial contribution are we to expect to come from someone on welfare, living in the room of an apartment?

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian
.... and getting your current partner to carry her own weight and support her own children? (wouldn't surprise me if she is the one egging you on to cut off support for your son).
Ummm....What part of she has been working a few different jobs during the last few years did you not understand? She's been in a transitional period of establishing herself at a place that will, work out for both her and her employer for the long term.

And no, she's not "egging" me on to cut off support to my son. You are already well aware of the situation. So what do you think should happen? I'm supposed support my son (who as far as I know wants nothing to do me) to do nothing with his life until he's 40 or 50? What exactly are you attempting to imply?
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Old 02-25-2017, 06:14 PM
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I think you have to look at the big picture.

You likely are a tad stressed at financial implications of those "baby bonus" cheques ending soon. The reality that you are living with someone who just recently bothered to get their drivers' license, and who has lived since 2004 in a "transitional state" has probably sunk in. (decreased income)

Your ex, like your current partner, is chronically unemployed. (no income)

Your son wants little or nothing to do with you and your partner's 3 children want nothing to do with their father as well. (no relationship with fathers).

You are rather melodramatic as you know your legal obligations with regards to your son will end in a few years. Like it or not, your son is still in school. He may not measure up to your standards, and not as academically successful as your partner's daughters, but do remember that your son (no fault of his own) was not raised in the same sort of environment as your partner's daughters. In fact, if your ex is as bad as you have portrayed her it must have been a very rough childhood for your son. With this considered it is surprising that your son is staying in school.

Probably the only difference between your ex and your current spouse is that your ex wasn't able to latch on to another man after your separation. Your current spouse did very well for herself by finding a generous and caring man who would take her and her 3 kids on.

What to do? Focus on your spouse getting full-time, meaningful employment so that if/when your current relationship ends you aren't paying hefty SS and CS for your spouse's 3 children while they are pursuing post-secondary education (cause it sounds as though they won't be drop-outs).

What you have to now pay in CS for you son will pale in comparison.
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Old 02-25-2017, 07:41 PM
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Well, it looks like you have two options:

1. Find new evidence that your son is not attending school full time. Have you contacted the school to determine what they consider a "full time student", in terms of course load? However, you tried this approach and it appears the judge didn't buy it. On the face of it, to me it seems not unreasonable that the judge would determine CS should continue until your son has had a shot at finishing high school, even though he is 20. The judge is probably hoping to encourage him to finish, which would be good for you too, as his father.

2. Put this aside and come back in a couple of years. It would be much easier to argue that a 23-year-old is not a child of the marriage than it would right now.

3. Quit referring to your ex-wife as ex-bitch and useless excuse for a human being. I expect you probably think that you're very calm and neutral in court, but trust me, that kind of hateful attitude is difficult to conceal (after how many years?). Train yourself into using correct terms.
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Old 02-25-2017, 07:51 PM
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Kids who are over 18 and not attending school full time are not entitled to full child support. Calling the school will get nothing because hes over 18. This isnt a leap year situation. This kid has zero educational goals and is only registered in school so his mother can get a cheque each month. It doesnt matter what the other posters current partner does or how much money she has--this kid is not entitled to support!
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