Moving to where the ex resides and Custody

[Underdog]

My ex and daughter live about 2 hours away from the matrimonial home, where I live.

She wants sole custody and is completely ignoring my requests for information about our daughter and my requests for being involved in decisions regarding our child.

I'm planning to take her to court, but before that move up to her area so to eliminate any mobility issues that will stand in the way of achieving joint custody.

However, I heard that moving out of the matrimonial home (which was a rental) and relocating to where the ex is, is a bad move, and further weakens my case for custody.

Is it true ?
How will this court interpret this move ?

Thank you,
Unda

[HammerDad]

Originally Posted by Underdog

My ex and daughter live about 2 hours away from the matrimonial home, where I live.

When did they move to where they currently reside?

However, I heard that moving out of the matrimonial home (which was a rental) and relocating to where the ex is, is a bad move, and further weakens my case for custody.

Yes, in most situations it is a bad move to leave the matrimonial home. Your's, IMO, is not one of those situations. Your EX actually was the one who made the wrong move by leaving. What you should have done when she moved out was filed a motion in court to have the child returned to the matrimonial home. Depending on how long ago she moved out you may now be SOL, if she has established any form of residency.

But to move closer to the child to be able to better facilitate your relationship won't hurt your case and can only help it. The fact that you are just renting means you have no equity to lose.

[billiechic]

yes, your is an exception. Moving to where your child is can only be good for you, and your kid. Good Luck!

[Underdog]

Daughter was still breastfeeding and left with my ex late Nov 2009, and been living with my ex's parents since.

[HammerDad]

Originally Posted by Underdog

Daughter was still breastfeeding and left with my ex late Nov 2009, and been living with my ex's parents since.

It's been over 6 months, so your chances of getting an order for the to be returned to the matrimonial home are slim to none.

But yeah, you're an exception to the general rule of leaving the house, because in your case, there is nothing in the house to keep you there. The rule generally applies when both parties are still residing together in a house they own and/or there are children that remain in the house.

[Elvis]

IMO that is an excellent move. You will be closer to your child, be able to pick the child to and from the daycare/school, doctor etc, therefore I don't see why the court wouldn't allow joint custody and a lot of access, hopefully shared.

Also start documenting everything including her not allowing you to know about the child and making decisions. I think, by default, you still have equal rights until an agreement or a court order.

[Underdog]

Thank you all for your feedback.

I have a lot of documented evidence of my ex not allowing me to be part of my daughter's life and not allowing me to participate in any decisions regarding her parenting.

Although there is no custody decision yet, the fact that I allowed a situation where my ex was the only one making decisions regarding our daughter to continue (for 6 months), could work against me. (Even though we were in mediation for most of that time.)

Also the fact that we don't seem to come to an agreement on anything. (Thanks to my ex unwillingness to negotiate)... Could show the court that a joint custody/shared parenting arrangement is not a workable solution.
Forcing the court to make a choice between the two parents - This will decrease my chances of achieving joint custody.

But I'm glad your feedback regarding the move is positive and very encouraging - Thank you again.

Anything to improve my odds and save my daughter the hassle of a 2 hour ride every week.

[billiechic]

Just keep doing your best to work co-operatively. There have been cases where the co-operative parent has ended up with sole custody, even when asking for joint.