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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2017, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Mother has indicated in many posts that she has no problem with father spending more time with the children.
She has been inconsistent with that Arabian. I pulled a post in one of her threads that said exactly "I'm not comfortable giving him any extra time".. then says different things later. It's just all over the place.

Even the judge at her SC indicated that she give him another day of access .. so he must have had a good case in that conference.

It's fine if posters don't want to listen to peeps on forums, but now she has judges telling her she should be giving more access ... I think it's time to start listening.
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Old 04-26-2017, 01:09 PM
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Case conference judges typically try to get parties to settle their differences. The judge made a suggestion that she try adding a day to father's access. I believe both parties disagree with the judge's suggestion, not just the mother. Father wants 50/50. Mother does not think that this extra day should be at her expense (weekend) when weekends are her only full day (off work) with children. That's my take on things anyhow. If that is the case then it is simply a matter of conflicting schedules is it not?
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Old 04-26-2017, 01:25 PM
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Case conference judges typically try to get parties to settle their differences. The judge made a suggestion that she try adding a day to father's access. I believe both parties disagree with the judge's suggestion, not just the mother. Father wants 50/50. Mother does not think that this extra day should be at her expense (weekend) when weekends are her only full day (off work) with children. That's my take on things anyhow. If that is the case then it is simply a matter of conflicting schedules is it not?
Case conference judges also shed some light on how a trial judge will rule given the details presented.

This judge obviously felt that a trial judge would rule that mom should be giving more access. That dad's trying to be more involved as PH said and this isn't a negative thing. I think he's even paid up all of his retro CS.

As for work schedules, I highly doubt dad will come in without a detailed plan. His lawyer wouldn't allow it. I'm in a 50/50 and I have support for driving, child care, etc. Pretty normal stuff. I'm so glad my ex got over it and avoided trial ... she's now seeing the benefits on our D5.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 04-26-2017 at 01:28 PM.
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Old 04-26-2017, 03:15 PM
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At first he was "abusive", then he was "conning" the doctors, and now he's selling his house ? What's next? he wiped his ass with kitchen wipes ?
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Old 04-26-2017, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Case conference judges also shed some light on how a trial judge will rule given the details presented.

This judge obviously felt that a trial judge would rule that mom should be giving more access. That dad's trying to be more involved as PH said and this isn't a negative thing. I think he's even paid up all of his retro CS.

As for work schedules, I highly doubt dad will come in without a detailed plan. His lawyer wouldn't allow it. I'm in a 50/50 and I have support for driving, child care, etc. Pretty normal stuff. I'm so glad my ex got over it and avoided trial ... she's now seeing the benefits on our D5.
Lots of speculation here. Your situation was entirely different.

Getting back to the reality... basics. Status quo of 8 years. Father has to prove material change of circumstances I believe - correct me if I am wrong.

If Father has a good track-record of repeatedly requesting additional time with his children and can show that he was repeatedly denied then he might have something. From what I gather he has not requested any additional time until the time that he would be required to pay additional CS. This is a tangible fact which will likely be presented. If the father can prove otherwise then who knows what the outcome will be.
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Old 04-26-2017, 04:30 PM
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Getting back to the reality... basics. Status quo of 8 years. Father has to prove material change of circumstances I believe - correct me if I am wrong.
There is no final court order in place no material change in circumstance needs to be proven for the application to proceed. The father will however have to justify why the current arrangement should be changed to whatever he is seeking. Why is the current regime not working and how would the proposed regime satisfy the children's best interests? Is the current regime in the childrens best interests? Does it adhere to the maximum contact principal ? The mother will need to justify why the current regime should be maintained and why the fathers proposed regime is not in the children's best interests. He uses kitchen wipes to wipe his ass is not a good enough reason. He wasn't interested in more time until the issue of child support came up maybe a good enough reason.

Last edited by trinton; 04-26-2017 at 04:34 PM.
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Old 04-26-2017, 05:40 PM
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There is no final court order in place no material change in circumstance needs to be proven for the application to proceed. The father will however have to justify why the current arrangement should be changed to whatever he is seeking. Why is the current regime not working and how would the proposed regime satisfy the children's best interests? Is the current regime in the childrens best interests? Does it adhere to the maximum contact principal ? The mother will need to justify why the current regime should be maintained and why the fathers proposed regime is not in the children's best interests. He uses kitchen wipes to wipe his ass is not a good enough reason. He wasn't interested in more time until the issue of child support came up maybe a good enough reason.


Arabian is right that it is a tangible fact that time was not asked for until the CS "deal" was expired. SC judge had a very hard time with this as well....if that is indicative of what trial judge would also think....
He was also in arrears at this time. A fact that cannot be ignored. I don't disagree with what the settlement conference judge said either. She suggested adding one day on.
I have since offered TWO. Then I offered to wipe his daycare payment right off the table. Finally, I offered to "cap" the CS amount. I honestly think this is reasonable. I believe that I am "meeting in the middle". The judge also recommended mediation which he has refused because I would like my legal counsel there with me (he wants it to just be the two of us so he can attempt to bulldoze over me). As far as I have been told, the offer was rejected as he wants to just take it to trial. Help me understand here because honestly some of you are making me question my perception of this and of myself....is it not reasonable to meet in the middle? Would the courts not want us to negotiate and compromise? I want to settle but I also believe his proposed schedule and lack of involvement would have negative consequences. That's just the bottom line for me and I know my kids best.


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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2017, 06:28 PM
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If he hasn't taken you up on any of your offers then he is a very foolish man and/or has a lousy lawyer.

How can someone justify being in arrears for CS while building a new home? Pretty clear to me where his priorities lie.


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Old 04-26-2017, 06:51 PM
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If he hasn't taken you up on any of your offers then he is a very foolish man and/or has a lousy lawyer.

How can someone justify being in arrears for CS while building a new home? Pretty clear to me where his priorities lie.


Idiot
I don't think the courts will play the blaming game here but rather look for a resolution to move forward. he admitted he owed money and settled it on consent. there is no issue with child support to be dealt with at trial. except for the offset. should cs be reduced to accomodate thr increased costs of shared parenting if he reaches that threshold? will a judge want to lower cs with the money he's going to make from selling his home? is he going to use that money to hire a lawyer to suck your wallet dry to get you to consent to what he wants? so many different possibilities.

good on you for offerring all that and even 2 extra days. my ex offers less and less and didn't even file an offer at the last sc lol.

Last edited by trinton; 04-26-2017 at 06:58 PM.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2017, 07:33 PM
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He is in arrears for child support. Of course that matters. Judges do not approve of self-help measures (not paying because you think you don't owe that much). We don't know if he made arrangements with FRO though which would save his ass in court.
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