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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-17-2017, 12:47 PM
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Default Mother wants to change Custody Agreement

We have had a custody arrangement for 3 years I have him every weekend and she has him during the week. We also share holidays and the summer 50/50.

She is now requesting more access a weekend every month she sent me a written letter requesting to come to an agreement. This is not beneficial for me as I wouldn't see him for two weeks before seeing him again. I enjoy my weekends and I have made it as much of a routine for my son as I can.

Her reasons are that she wants my son to spend more time with his sisters and play with some friends he has in that city. She also claims that he wants to spend more time there.

should I give into this request?
How likely would I be able to retain our custody arrangement if it went back to court?

I kinda feel like I have no choice, because the courts always side with the mother.


Could anyone give me any insight on what I should do? Thank you!
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Old 01-17-2017, 12:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChildLight View Post
We have had a custody arrangement for 3 years I have him every weekend and she has him during the week. We also share holidays and the summer 50/50.

She is now requesting more access a weekend every month she sent me a written letter requesting to come to an agreement. This is not beneficial for me as I wouldn't see him for two weeks before seeing him again. I enjoy my weekends and I have made it as much of a routine for my son as I can.

Her reasons are that she wants my son to spend more time with his sisters and play with some friends he has in that city. She also claims that he wants to spend more time there.

should I give into this request?
How likely would I be able to retain our custody arrangement if it went back to court?

I kinda feel like I have no choice, because the courts always side with the mother.


Could anyone give me any insight on what I should do? Thank you!
I would give it a go. There's no harm in some extra time with mom. It would be an extremely healthy move for you to say yes, unless there is any form of abuse, addictions, or other "significant" concerns.

Having 2 loving parents in a child's life equally is extremely healthy for the child. Check out this thread (ignore the "noise" in it as it's a pretty touchy subject).
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tml#post216584

In my view the child deserves an equal relationship with his mother.
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Old 01-17-2017, 12:55 PM
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She already sees him everyday Monday to Friday That means I would only see him three weekends a month. It would be less time with his father. That hardly seem healthy??
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:00 PM
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Your arrangement is not something that would ever be ordered by a judge and I think if she went to court she would won.

Why don't you have your kid on weekdays?
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
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We have had a custody arrangement for 3 years I have him every weekend and she has him during the week.
That custody arrangement is almost completely unsupported by the courts. Maybe 3 out of 4 weekends, but every weekend? It is reasonable for the mother to want to see the children at least once a month, and probably good for the children as well.

Quote:
She is now requesting more access a weekend every month she sent me a written letter requesting to come to an agreement.
What is your child support situation? In other words, is this a play from the mom to get more money or is it an actual request to spend time with the child? That could help inform your negotiations.

Quote:
This is not beneficial for me
Never say that phrase again. Nobody care about you.

"This is not beneficial for my child because..."

Quote:
I kinda feel like I have no choice, because the courts always side with the mother.
You have no choice because your current custody arrangement is unreasonable.

Can you have the kid during the week? Offer week about sharing, or 2-2-5-5, or 2-2-3, or some other 50% schedule. If you cannot have the kid during the week then to be honest you truly are not a 50% parent and you are about to become an EOW parent.

You will get wrecked if you try to fight this in court.
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChildLight View Post
She already sees him everyday Monday to Friday That means I would only see him three weekends a month. It would be less time with his father. That hardly seem healthy??
is there a reason why you cannot get some extra time during the week to make up for it?

Seeing a kid on the weekend vs weekday is different. Usually weekends are more relaxed and the ability to do day trips etc. Weekdays are filled with homework, school etc. It really isn't fair that one parent gets all the fun time weekends.
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:02 PM
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Would the distance between you be amenable to having your existing three weekends extended to make up the time?

I can see the other parent wanting at least one weekend and the child also would benefit from some weekend time with mom, especially if child was quite young when this arrangement began and now has a social circle in mom's neighborhood.
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:06 PM
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So what's the point of the custody arrangement if she can just request a change whenever it seems suitable?

Say I grant this weekend, who's to say she won't request two weekends next year?

Especially if I will get wrecked in court?
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:31 PM
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So what's the point of the custody arrangement if she can just request a change whenever it seems suitable?
Your custody arrangement is ridiculous. The courts will not enforce ridiculous arrangements.

Quote:
Say I grant this weekend, who's to say she won't request two weekends next year?
She almost certainly will request it, and get it.

That is why you need to start having the kid during the week.
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Old 01-17-2017, 01:33 PM
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Quote:
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Your custody arrangement is ridiculous. The courts will not enforce ridiculous arrangements.

She almost certainly will request it, and get it.

That is why you need to start having the kid during the week.
I can't he lives in another city.

What about status quo? it's been working fine for three years.
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