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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-26-2017, 03:33 PM
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Default Minutes meetings & Motion Form 14B

Hi all,

Well, ex and I did not end up going to court as was my ex's plan; that and asking for me to pay his court costs. His lawyer and myself (I had no lawyer this time round), hashed things mostly out through emails. But.......


I am confused about this whole change in primary care, access, etc. Initially our court order said, "I have primary custody and will consult with father on all major issues concerning the children. That the father will have the children every other weekend." Now, the current MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT is written as such: "It is hereby ordered that the parties shall have joint custody of the children and that their primary residence shall be with the applicant father. The responded mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." I am not getting this: "we will have joint custody but mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." What the heck does this mean?

Lastly, I am currently living off about 700-800 a month, while I desperately and frantically search for another job. Ex is making about 100K (plus,) with use of company vechile/gas etc on private time. EX is still asking for me to pay 30 percent of said 7 expenses and is asking for me to officially sign the Form 14B. I don't see that this was a problem if I had more money, but this is not legally right I would think. Should I not ask that this also be changed in his lawyers letter to his MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT before I sign off on this stuff noted above on 14B?

Feeling confused and looking for feedback about the two issues above.

Thank you again.
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Old 01-26-2017, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
Well, ex and I did not end up going to court as was my ex's plan; that and asking for me to pay his court costs.
How is not going to court a negative thing? The matter was settled. So, if you consented to the matter that should be a good thing no? 99% of litigants should PLAN to settle a matter without the use of court. That is a good thing no?

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Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
I am confused about this whole change in primary care, access, etc.
If that is the case you need to bring the agreement to Duty Counsel at the court house or the closest Family Law Responsibility Office and review it with a lawyer. The law society will even get you an hour of time with a lawyer where you can review it at least.

As you are (a) emotional and (b) confused you need to talk to a lawyer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
It is hereby ordered that the parties shall have joint custody of the children and that their primary residence shall be with the applicant father. The responded mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children.
I have highlighted the key words to focus on in the above paragraph. If that is what is written in the agreement it is quite crappy by the way.

A judge would likely ignore everything else written in the above paragraph. The key is that the custody of the children is "joint". Meaning... That all major decisions regarding the children needs the consent of both parents or that major decisions need to be made JOINTLY by BOTH parents.

The primary residence aspect only matters with regards to enrolment in school and the selection of professionals (like doctors). When a "primary residence" is designated like this it means that that residence is used as the children's residence for their address. This matters for school catchments and selecting doctors but, really is no big deal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
I am not getting this: "we will have joint custody but mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." What the heck does this mean?
Matt Foley would tell you that everything written after "joint custody" would amount to JACK SQUAT.

It would be just as valuable for that sentence to end like this:
will have joint custody but the moon is made of BBQ spare ribs and if it was the parties would have seconds!


A judge would stop reading after the pronouncement of "joint custody" and stick with that. Everything else is just BBQ spare ribs on the moon really.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
Lastly, I am currently living off about 700-800 a month, while I desperately and frantically search for another job.
I hope you have much luck with your employment search. The market in January is generally the best time to find employment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
Ex is making about 100K (plus,) with use of company vechile/gas etc on private time.
As the children will have primary residency with the other parent and the other parent will have the majority of access to the children you will be required to pay child support. What the other parent makes is immaterial really for the calculation of child support. Clearly the other parent has invested in their career and made wise choices.

Not sure if lamenting that the other parent is successful will win you any favour with anyone. Why didn't you get spousal support if this was the case and you are not employable and were married for a significant (10+ years) time?

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Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
EX is still asking for me to pay 30 percent of said 7 expenses and is asking for me to officially sign the Form 14B.
Section 7 expenses are SPECIAL AND EXTRAORDINARY. They rarely come up. Hockey, soccer and other similar programs are not special nor are they extraordinary.

Daycare is the only major S7 that parents face really and your kids are WAY TOO OLD to attend daycare.

But... S7 should be based on both parents line 150.

Parent A Income + Parent B Income = total house hold income
(Parent A Income / Total House Hold Income) * 100 = Parent A contribution %
(Parent B Income / Total House Hold Income) * 100 = Parent B contribution %

So if he makes 100,000 and you make 30,000 the total house hold income would be 130,000. He should be paying 77% and you should be paying 23% of any eligible S7 expenses.

So, the other parent in this matter may not be far off with the 30% calculation. But, what S7 expenses are there that are not covered by his supplemental health insurance?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
I don't see that this was a problem if I had more money, but this is not legally right I would think.
Not to be mean but, someone who is "confused" shouldn't be trying to determine what is "legally right". See about on how S7 works. I suspect the other parent is better informed than you are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
Should I not ask that this also be changed in his lawyers letter to his MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT before I sign off on this stuff noted above on 14B?
YOU NEED A LAWYER! DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT CONSULTING YOUR OWN LAWYER. EVEN IF IT IS JUST DUTY COUNSEL AT THE COURT HOUSE OR A LAWYER AT THE FAMILY LAW INFORMATION CENTRE! IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND SOMETHING YOU SHOULD NOT CONSENT TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 01-27-2017, 09:50 PM
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Tayken,

Thank you for so much information. I am very tired of his battle; it has always been about money. He dreams money. Settling out of court was a good thing. It was ex who was taking me to court and asking for his court costs if I did not agree to his terms. It was I who wrote his lawyer saying I wanted "joint custody" added. It was that other stupid insert that confused me, i.e. "mother will be consulted."

About the 7s expenses............ when we were previously to court he was paying 70 percent and I was paying 30 percent. His lawyer has not changed this and I think it is wrong. I say this because when he finally disclosed his T4's that he refused to for 3 years now, it was discovered his income has been much higher. My income was based on child support, government monies i.e Child Tax Benefit and my childs' Disability Income. Now, I have only about 700.00 per month at current (stressing) and his income has gone way way up, not to mention he now gets my sons disability tax credit and has the additional income of not paying me child support, which was previously factored into my 30 percent of expense. My ex says, "lets not make a fuss about this and have this corrected, I won't come after you for 30 percent, just sign the minutes meeting and the motion 14B will be a done deal."

What do you think?

A couple things: I was so wrapped up on in the wording, ''joint custody', but then it saying, 'mother shall be consulted." I thought one sounded contradictory to the other. This worried me.

I have been looking for work since I graduated in June 2016. Yes, I went back to school in my late 40's, when my children I could leave alone for a couple hours together. My eldest is a special needs child, hence why I stayed home for a number of years as a single mom. Dad was able to advance his career by sleeping with company owners sister (while we were married). Yes, he married her, she comes with big bucks.
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Old 01-27-2017, 10:11 PM
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You went back to school in your 40's so you obviously know the value of an education as it relates to your future.

You should then be able to grasp the concept of value of obtaining your own legal advice as it relates to your future.
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Old 01-27-2017, 10:18 PM
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It is not easy getting a job at age 52. Add to that, being out from work for 17 years, only recently securing a job in the field I went to school for on an on call basis. I am competing with graduates aged 21 and 22.

I am in a lot of lawyer debt and school debt; I just can't incur anymore. That being said, why I often NOW ask questions here.

It is o.k, I will head back up to the courthouse Monday.
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Old 01-29-2017, 12:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
It is o.k, I will head back up to the courthouse Monday.
No one on this forum can provide this advice to you. You need to talk to duty counsel at the court house on Monday. This site provides opinions from random monkeys bashing rocks into keyboards and does not constitute legal advice. As Arabian has said... You need to consult a proper legal professional in good standing with the Society.
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