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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2005, 08:58 PM
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Grace has a spectacular aura aboutGrace has a spectacular aura about
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What a mess!!! You'd think the Judges would have figured out by now that one parent use status quo as a tactic.

I feel for Brandon and you and how emotional it can be, especially at the start. I was absolutely devastated when my marriage fell apart, I too sought help, but was told by an experienced therapist not to take any kind of medication as it would be used against me. At least I was told from the start.

What does your lawyer say your chances are at increased access? In Ontario we have the Office of the Children's Lawyer which can step in, by court order to represent the children's best interest. Is there something similar in Alberta?

It's a scary thought that our posts could be used against us.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2005, 10:39 PM
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bearall is on a distinguished road
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There is no office of the children's lawyer that I am aware of in Alberta.
Grace, in a high conflict divorce posting on a public forum is the least of your worries. If what you post is true, the other side is free to spin it however they want. There are literally dozens and dozens of ways to beat you down, you spend and defend(like pouring money down a rabbit hole)you pray for relief and peace and yet it becomes the last person standing on the battlefield with nothing but casualties all around. The Divorce process is a huge messy pit with no one particular party exclusively to blame.

I don't begrudge my ex for her conduct,she was the strong one to end a marriage that wasn't working for her,she needed a transition person to leave and it came as a shock to me,but in reality she had already left in her heart a long time ago and it takes a few years to catch up to that same form of detachment or withdrawal. It must have been painful and a huge internal stuggle for her at a time when I didn't even know it.

But,her happiness shouldn't trump everyone else"s in the process. That is the part that is hard to reconcile with. How far will a human being go to destoy others in order to make themseves triumphant in a race to the bottom. There are no winners only losers in a divorce in my opinion,but yet, what else can you expect. Periodic loss of hope ,dreams,expectations...it is a part of everyday life for all people. I am sure, to many it seems a caterpillar when wound tightly in that suffocating cocoon is getting a raw deal....but look at the butterfly coming out on the other side unsmothered, free and beautiful in all its glory. Worth the suffering of divorce I suppose if you could just muster up a tiny glimpse of a better tomorrow and tuck it safely away inside your heart. I doubt if the catepillar knows the fate of it's journey either,----------------------just like the rest of us
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2005, 11:47 PM
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god knows the truth will become famous soon enough
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hubby
Lisa,

I guess the underlying issue is why some people (men and woman) tend to really get the end of the stick? While others come out with fair settlements, others on the other hand are dealt a bad blow.

Why is that? Could it be the judges, the mood their in, the lawyers representing you? I'm just curious.

Hubby
Regarding your dec 8 '05 message about why judges do what they do : It's all of the above. You have to wonder if the other Lawyer and the judge are golfing buddies or something similar. I know after 6 years of the courts, THOUSANDS (YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE AMOUNT IF I TOLD YOU)of dollars, two homes sold, education funds cashed in, rrsps cashed in etc. and the lawyers are winning, not the ex spouses. Don't get me wrong, I'm by far a financially wealthy person; I saved most of my money before I had children so that I could invest in real estate to secure their futures. I t was a great plan until my ex came along. You may say "Why keep it going" but in the legal system, if you throw in the towel you automatically lose. At this point, I have nothing to give any more.I feel like my life is lived in the courts-whether physically or mentally. I know I need to keep trusting God.
God knows the truth
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 12-13-2005, 11:49 PM
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god knows the truth will become famous soon enough
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Quote:
Originally Posted by god knows the truth
Regarding your dec 8 '05 message about why judges do what they do : It's all of the above. You have to wonder if the other Lawyer and the judge are golfing buddies or something similar. I know after 6 years of the courts, THOUSANDS (YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE AMOUNT IF I TOLD YOU)of dollars, two homes sold, education funds cashed in, rrsps cashed in etc. and the lawyers are winning, not the ex spouses. Don't get me wrong, I'm by far a financially wealthy person; I saved most of my money before I had children so that I could invest in real estate to secure their futures. I t was a great plan until my ex came along. You may say "Why keep it going" but in the legal system, if you throw in the towel you automatically lose. At this point, I have nothing to give any more.I feel like my life is lived in the courts-whether physically or mentally. I know I need to keep trusting God.
God knows the truth
take care bye for now
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2005, 12:04 AM
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Location: Alberta
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bearall is on a distinguished road
Red face

I find that too !! If you stop you lose everything. 6 years ??? oh my God !!!

I think I would be interested in what others have shelled out in dollars and follow the money instead of the trail of broken hearts. It isn't appropriate to bandy about costs in public but perhaps a private message is possible. I came in to the marriage with substantial personal assets as well...looks like if it goes on for another 4.5 years I am in big doodoo
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2005, 12:44 AM
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god knows the truth will become famous soon enough
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I just read my message that I posted afew minutes ago; There was a 'typo'. I meant to say "Don't get me wrong, I'm FAR from being financially wealthy". My eyes almos popped out of my head when I reread my message after I posted it. ha! It's late---that's my excuse
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