Makeup time

[tugofwar]

Can someone explain the basics on how makeup time works? Is there a general time frame for when the makeup time should be done? Is it possible to "bank" all the time together sometime during later in the year?

I have issues as I have suggested 3 possible times and rejected with no reason as they were all workable solutions.

Question: how does it work with special occasions and court orders? Say for xmas it was my normal weekend, but order states that xmas time will be split between parents? Do I get makeup time for my normal time missed?

[dinkyface]

Statutory holidays, birthdays and vacation weeks normally override the normal access schedule, and no make-up time is given.

Did your ex suggest any times that would work? If he suggested some time much later, do you have any particular reason to deny that? It seems a bit annoying, but I cannot think of any general principle for denying it. If it was a repeating pattern, and it was getting hard to keep track of all the accumulated make-ups, and making a big mess of the schedule, THAT might be a good reason. But for an occasional thing, why not? Or if you feel he is missing access for his own convenience, then you might want to request a limit on the time frame, just to encourage commitment to the schedule.

Makeup time should generally be of the same 'quality' of time that was missed e.g. a weekend day for a weekend day, or a weekday for a weekday.

It might be a good idea to get agreement on the make-up time at the moment that he requests a schedule change (which should be done with at least 1 wk notice anyway).

[HammerDad]

Any time that is court ordered, like Christmas, Easter and other special events do not entitle makeup time. Those sorts of things will even out themselves over time.

Makeup time is only when there is a special event that isn't court ordered. Like CP has family coming into town and wants the kids to be there. So CP and NCP work out an alternative date for NCP's parenting time.

[tugofwar]

Actually it is makeup time due to our vacation. I just thought it was a fair and nice jester to offer time. But just because I offered the time, the other parent just flat out refused, why cause I suggested it. They do not really care to make up this time, honestly. Yet just trying to prove that I am not co operative.

[Berner_Faith]

Has he agreed to this vacation? It is clearly impacting his access time, so his agreement would be necessary. If he has agreed to this vacation, I would suggest emailing him and stating that due to the vacation that was agreed upon, and him missing his access time, you would like him to provide dates/time where he would like to access his make up time. If you don't hear from him by x-date, this will mean that he does not wish to have any make up time and the regular schedule will continue as it does after the vacation.

By allowing him to make the decision you can't be the bad one...unless he never agreed to miss his access time for this vacation...

[billiechic]

She did that and he agreed to the vacation, and it has already been taken (almost a month ago).
I know Tug has offered him make-up time for this vacation several times, and he just wont respond with any suggestions after he denies her suggestions.

So, at what point has he forfeited his make-up time? I dont think it's fair he be able to "hold it over her head". I know my court order states that makeup time will be an extra night the following access weekend, or used within 2 weeks. That might be extreme, but I think he does need to decide, or forfeit.

[tugofwar]

We have nothing in our agreement about make up time. This isn't the first time makeup time has been brought up. Last year a few occasions, something came up, I offered and asked him to let me know if he wanted makeup up and make suggestions, and he ignored.
This time, I emailed the plan to travel, he had concerns, i took that into consideration and then asked if he wishes to have make up time. No response, so why am I the bad one, I have suggested keeping the child a few extra hours (an extra overnight) on 2 occasions and extended one of their weekly visits.

This is just some stupid game that I am tired of playing. And with him, it's always a last minute thing, so maybe on thursday, he will suggest the next day etc. No consideration for others!

[Berner_Faith]

Well from how I am reading your post it seems that you are always the one cancelling his access time... "something came up, I offered and asked him to let me know if he wanted makeup and make suggestions"... if he never agreed to the cancellation in his access time, then yes I would say you would be the bad one for taking away access time to him.

I just don't feel you should be cancelling his access time if he isn't in agreement, even if "things come up" it is your responsibility to ensure the kids are available on his time.

Maybe I am reading wrong, or you are posting wrong, but from what you are posting it isn't him cancelling his time...its you...

[tugofwar]

Sorry, some of it was misworded. To further your last post berner, our agreement does state that if a special occasion, event, or vacation plan is in the interest the child attends, then the other parent cannot use the regular schedule.

There have been a number of occasions, he decided to forgo access, a few weekends, weekly, some holidays, bring child back earlier, pick up later etc. I have not offered any of these times for makeup.

Theres been only two occasions, two of her really close friends had a joint bday just as his access started, so i asked, he consented and i dropped off child after the party and suggested he keep her alittle longer to make up. (missed about 2 hours) But, sad he decided to bring her back even earlier than the regular scheduled time. So, sorry if Im alittle frustrated.

So, i had an opportunity to take vacation early this year with child. Sent email, ex didn't like the fact we were going but had no reasonable reason not to consent. I offered makeup due to the fact the child would be missing a few hours during my ex's weekly parenting time.

[tugofwar]

Originally Posted by Berner_Faith

Has he agreed to this vacation? It is clearly impacting his access time, so his agreement would be necessary. If he has agreed to this vacation, I would suggest emailing him and stating that due to the vacation that was agreed upon, and him missing his access time, you would like him to provide dates/time where he would like to access his make up time. If you don't hear from him by x-date, this will mean that he does not wish to have any make up time and the regular schedule will continue as it does after the vacation.

I did all that except stating or as he sees it dictating when he should see our child "the if i dont here a response by xdate bit" would be me controlling the situation... urrr