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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 04-30-2009, 09:23 AM
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#1StepMom is on a distinguished road
Default Make-Up Visits - Right or Privelege?

Out of curiosity, what is your interpretation of the following order:
- The Father (NCP) shall have the right to cancel a visit giving the Mother at least 24-hours notice, should he not be able to exercise his access.
- The Mother (CP) shall provide the Father make-up visits if the requested time is acceptable to her.

I'm asking because my stepson's mom (CP) has recently taken a drastic stance with regards to rescheduling visits. In the past, when a rare circumstance arose making it impossible for my husband to exercise his regular access, we requested a switch and it was always granted, or other make-up time was provided. All of a sudden, my stepson's mom indicated that she will no longer "be inconvenienced by having to change her plans and rearrange her life" should the child's father be unable to exercise access on his regular scheduled weekend, and therefore will not be granting him any make-up visits should he be unavailable to exercise his regular access.

From the way the court order is written, it seems that she has every right to decline a request for make-up time. But how is this fair to the father (who may be called out of town on business, or who may be required to handle an emergency situation) and to the child? She has also made it clear that each time my husband "forfeits" his regular access time, she will inform the child (6 years old) that his father does not want to spend time with him and will "encourage" him to ask his dad why that is. (Yes, she actually said this!) --The games she plays are countless!

We have always been providing her with various make-up visit possibilities and asking her to provide suggestions of her own if ours were not agreeable to her. Switching weekends has never been an issue before, until just recently, when she informed us of her new position on the matter.

Is there anything that my husband can do, or any family law clause we can quote to her to make her realize (if that's even possible) that her actions are simply wrong?
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Old 04-30-2009, 09:59 AM
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independentgal is on a distinguished road
Default

Oooh, that mom sounds like she does not have the child's best interests at heart. Sad.

Access schedules are intended to facilitate a relationship with the NCP. A clause in the order to allow for a make up visit clearly is to benefit the child. If you ever need to go to court for this, make sure you keep the emails that the mom says it is inconvenient for her.

I suggest you don't ask, you tell her when you will be making up the visits. Give her two choices of dates this year. eg. July 1-5 or Aug 23-27 Tell her unless you are informed by May 15th, that you will be making up your access time on July 1-5th for the missed access days. Make sure you have the control and add it to the end of your access to prevent her from conveniently being away when you show up.

Perhaps the dad has missed 5 days of access this year. Tack on the 5 days to the end of a summer week access or during the summer sometime. Adding the make up time to your already scheduled time with the child is not adding to the mom's inconvenience. Write a letter(sent registered or express post) and inform the mom that you will be keeping the child for an additional 5 days during the summer.

It could help to state the clauses in the order and state that you are giving her the option of two time periods.

My partner has a terrible clause in his order that his ex insisted was in there. If he cannot make it to the school in time to pick them up directly(even though they live next to the school) then he forfeits his entire access period. Seemed ok at the time as they were signing a global settlement, but in hindsight is not working out.


Whoever drafted that order of your partner needs a swift kick in the rear, it is terribly written and almost designed to cause control issues in a like-minded ex.

Good luck
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