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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-12-2006, 01:53 AM
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Hi all;

I lived common-law with my wife for over ten years and rather foolishly married her last summer after she more or less said it was all over if we didn't finally "tie the knot". Sick and tired of broken promises, outright lies and silly mental games.

I'm glad I came across this forum: Today, I started packing up my stuff and setting boxes aside in an unused portion of the house: Wife seemed almost gleeful that I might be leaving right then and there, but of course, I didn't. (I've since read that that would have been extremely to my detriment).

Basically, I'm self-employed, make about $60,000 a year that comes in varying amounts throughout the year (some good months, some bad). She makes about $5,000 a year at a part-time job. I've tried to get her her driver's license three times in three years, especially as we moved from a big city to a small village, but she avoided the driver's test at the end, each time.

In a nutshell: All I want out of the divorce is 50/50 custody of the kids. In a perfect world, no money would be trading hands, but I don't have a problem paying a reasonable amount to make sure she gets on her feet. (In past discussions about divorce, she's said she could keep child tax benefits and disability child benefits, et al, which would give her a chunk of revenue) - We have three kids under nine - one of whom is severely disabled (and whom I love dearly - he's got a really special place in my heart), another who is a type I diabetic and the youngest with no health issues.

All I'd need from the house would be my computer, which I need to earn a living. After reading this forum tonight, I realize if I just up and moved out and tried to start the 50/50 custody, I could be setting myself up to lose access/custody.

I am absolutely miserable in this marriage: Kicking myself for agreeing to tie the knot officially (I realize it wouldn't make much of a difference for assets or custody - I have a moral problem with having done it) My wife, obviously, isn't too pleased, either. My worry, though, is that she is *very* well aware that the Ontario family law courts tend to be heavily in favour of the women.

I just want out and I want my kids to be able to see their dad (me) 50% of the time, which is the most fair thing out of an unfair situation.

I'd appreciate any words on just what the heck I'm supposed to do now.
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Old 02-12-2006, 01:56 AM
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Forgot to add: The village in which we live, a family of four can easliy live on $20,000 a year, with the basics covered (no luxuries, but no one would starve and all the bills would be paid)
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Old 02-12-2006, 02:10 AM
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bearall is on a distinguished road
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Your situation isn't entirely a carbon copy of mine, but uncanny how so many parts ryhme.

Put your kids first in your heart and soul, be as fair to their mom as possible and get your ducks in a row.

I have learned "Doing things right isn't always thre right thing to do" and this is especially true in Divorce law and family breakdown.

I think I can help you, along with the good hearted people on this forum.

Feel free to send me a private message.
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Old 02-12-2006, 10:20 AM
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Justwantmylifeback,

Sorry to hear of your circumstances. You are right on leaving the matrimonial home. If you leave you will most likely be climbing an uphill battle for joint custody/shared access. Your ex already has an advantage that she was working part-time and could be considered the primary caregiver. The two most important words regarding custody are "status quo" and "defacto custody"

Where ever possible, do your best to work issues out between yourselves, and leave the court system as your last resort.

Welcome aboard, and keep posting.
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