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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-14-2016, 11:19 PM
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Question Looking for the best way to divorce

My ex and I have been separated for over 3 years. We each have moved on with other relationships. We have a 7yr old child who resides with her father. We are on very good terms and would like to make this as easy as possible. We would like avoid the court system if we can. We have sold our house but have our names on joint debt (not an issue). Basically we have agreed on everything but obviously need a divorce to make it final. I'm aware that we can file jointly with the court.

Do we really have to have lawyers or can we use a median?

As far as the child goes, we have everything worked out. We are both very flexible when it comes to visitation days and times however I'm worried that a court will make us have specifics in writing. We have an agreed amount on child support which is lower that the guideline. I believe it is fair as he decided to move 97km away for work. This has greatly impacted the amount of times I get to see my child during the week.
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:11 AM
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To get a divorce, you will require a separation agreement, which will have to be in writing.

97km is nothing, you will be required to pay table child support. You agreed to let the father move the child away. If you disagreed then you should have disagreed when the father moved. You cannot retroactively disagree.

If you were male, then I would say that you have lost your kid forever by letting the father move away. As a mother, who knows? Maybe you can fight it. I kinda hope you do, that might make for some good case law.
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:16 AM
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Everything I have read said that child support can be lower as long as it's fair and mutually agreed upon. I never agreed to the move and he would have done it anyways. I have no problem doing a separation agreement with him. Like I said we are not fighting about anything.
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:55 AM
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I would write up a separation agreement, that outlines what you currently have. Judges don't like to stray from the child support guidelines, however if you have a clear agreement, you both agree and can explain why it is the way it is, a Judge will probably sign off... if they don't, write the Separation Agreement with the correct guideline support and you guys just continue doing what you are doing. A judge just wants to see that there are provisions in place to care for the child. If you guys are on good terms, this should be easy to do.

You don't need a lawyer or mediator for this. File as a joint divorce, fill out the paperwork and take it to the court house. Wait the required time and then you are done. No need to pay a lawyer. The process costs about $500, at least that's what it was when my husband divorced his ex 2 years ago.
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Old 11-15-2016, 12:37 PM
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What is the best way to go about a writing a separation agreement? Also who would have to sign it?
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Old 11-16-2016, 09:46 AM
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First off, everyone's situation is different and once this is acknowledged, then you can go about using a template posted on here in a sticky to suit your situation.

Both parties will read it and take it to independent counsel, and if all is agreed upon, then parties sign it and file with the court.

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Originally Posted by Hoping582 View Post
What is the best way to go about a writing a separation agreement? Also who would have to sign it?
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Old 11-16-2016, 10:31 AM
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I would hope that you can both agree on a family law lawyer who is flexible, that you can hire to write up an agreement that captures what you are doing and want. Much of it should be boiler plate text so it shouldn't cost too much.

Just remember the lawyer is simply there to draft the contract. You want to make sure that there is nothing in there that would cause the agreement to be easily thrown out if one of you challenges it in the future. (Anything can happen.)

To make things ironclad, you may also want to get independent legal advice. This means a different lawyer for both of you. They'll tell you everything that is wrong with the agreement and everything that can go wrong. That's their job. You'll both have to ignore what they say and sign anyway.

Good luck!
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