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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 04-12-2011, 11:33 PM
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Default Looking for advice on stuff division in a seperation

Looking for advice on stuff division in a separation.

Hi,

First off - thanks to those who created this forum.
Second - advance thanks to those who take the time to read this and to help with this.


I have been in a relationship for about 17 years, and we are now separating. So far we have agree to be fair to each other, we both want this to be peaceful, however, I am finding I am now having some doubts about some of his intentions.

We agreed to do up a separation agreement and then go to a different lawyers to fine tune it to make it legal.

Where I am doubting his intentions, is when we started to talk about the stuff we have. I started to do an inventory, of the big stuff and his comments of me nit picking (on the big stuff) did not go over well with me.

When we started to talk about other 'stuff' he states that most of everything he has was a gift to him or an inheritance, so we basically don't count it.

Also when we started to talk about the land- property division, we have a 150 acres. I had said I want to have my portion in my name and his portion in his name, he doesn't want to do that.

He gave me some ideas on what we can do with the property, they all start with him having the property signed over to him, put in his name. The he will take a mortgage and pay me out, or once done he will give me a portion of it.

NOTE: I will not sign anything without a lawyers advice.

I suggested we go to a real estate agent who knows the property, (he is also a friend of both of ours) to get some ideas on how to separate the property. I am sure I made myself very clear on this, we made an appointment with the agent, and what does he go and do? He goes ahead and meets with the agent before hand telling the agent what he wants with a drawing of his idea.

I do know that since we both know the agent it is going to cause a conflict of interest, when we meet tomorrow, I will suggest and ask for him to suggest another agent in his office. I like their office. They seem to have the best customer service around.

I should also add, we don't have a lot of money, we were royally screwed over by the older son for the tune of about $30,000 that we are in debt to the bank for. We didn't see that coming. Even though a paper was signed it maybe years to try to get that money back via small claims court and he and his new wife don't have any money.

We have agreed to sell a piece of mutually agreeable piece of land to help pay our debts.

It is my understandings that everything is to be split 50/50.

Ok that is the background, now to the questions.

1) Does his claim of something being a gift or an inheritance have any validity? Some of his inheritance he received before the actually death of the person.

2) Any advise on how to draw up a separation agreement? I have done a google search but most you have to buy.


Thanks in advance!

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Old 04-13-2011, 12:52 AM
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What you have there is someone who is used to doing all the decision-making in the household and doesn't realize it's now inappropriate, or someone who is not playing fair. Either way, you need to make sure to find neutral people to refer to for appraisals and assessments, and to hold your ground.

1) Gifts and inheritances are not included in equalization, but they have to be clearly for him, and not merged with the household. His grandfather's pocket watch smuggled back from the war? Not included. His mother giving your family her dining room table when she bought a new one? Asset. Gifts and inheritances should be clearly things that you would recognize as being meant for him only, not the family.

2) Get the book Surviving your Divorce, by Michael Cochrane. It has a sample separation agreement in the appendix. Also, the book is an EXCELLENT source of knowledge about the process. You'll learn more from reading it for a few hours than you will in a week of poring over this forum. Not that the knowledge isn't here, but it's not presented nearly as neatly!
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Old 04-13-2011, 12:17 PM
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Married or common law? I ask because it can make a BIG difference in how to apply equalization.

Inheritence has to be clearly designated as such. If it was cash that he then decided to purchase X with for the family/household....asset.

If the item was given to him IN A WILL, then inheritence.

The distinction can get very grey. Property is pretty clearcut...either split it accordingly, OR if he takes it all, then it's part of HIS equalization. If there are not sufficient funds to cover it, then he has to take out a mortgage/etc to buy you out of your share.
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