A Lil' About Me & Joint Account Question

[Maggie82]

Hello folks!

I just registered on the forum, and I'm so glad I found this site. I have been a member of a stepmom forum for several years now, and I have found the support truly amazing. Unfortunately, the ladies there cannot answer my Ontario Family Law questions very well. I'm glad this forum exists. Maybe some of you could be of some help in this department.

A quick intro about myself... I'm a stepmom to a six year old boy. I have been in his life since he was born (even before!) His father, my soon-to-be hubby, was never involved with the mother of his son (i.e. a one night stand gone awry) and so the little tyke has been raised in separate homes by separate families since the very beginning. After many years of mediation and legal battles, we finally managed to settle things in court last year. My fiance has joint legal custody, with my stepson's primary residence being with the mother (only due to the distance - 70km - between our home and hers). Over the past six years, we've felt many frustrations, survived many battles, and overcome countless obstacles. But we're still standing and going strong. Our relationship with "our son" is great. We are both the parents in our home when the little guy is with us, and he has grown to view me as a second mother. (To the bio-mom's dislike, of course, but she has finally stopped bad-mouthing me - progress!)

My question for you is this... my fiance and I will soon be getting married, and we are a little conflicted (and confused) about whether or not to open any joint accounts. We are also hoping to buy our first home, and I'm a little weary about signing on the dotted line of a joint anything. Currently, my fiance's child support payments are based on his annual income, and are withdrawn monthly from his personal chequing account by FRO. If in the future we do have joint accounts, and we - for some reason - end up in court to get child support adjusted, will the money in the joint accounts (including MY money) be taken into consideration when calculating his payments?

Any advice would be great!

Thanks,
Maggie

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

Welcome!
You've come to the right place.
I am (ok was) in your shoes, and was terrified to have a "legal" relationship with a man that had an ex that he supported and paid CS to. I had all the same concerns as you.
Here is "my" experience.
First and foremost, have a separate "joint" account with you as the primary, that way if there is any issue with respect to adjusting CS in the future it is based "solely" on his income and any savings he has in the existing account. Not to mention any statements will be in your name as if it was your account alone. We transfer almost all of his income that is directly deposited into his pre-existing account (drawn on by the FRO) to "our" joint account in order to pay bills, etc. He’s never been in arrears but if he was a direct withdrawal on a joint account would mean FRO could simply take the amount owing even if it came from your pay check, they can’t tell the difference when the money is in an account he has authorized payment on.

When we decided on a home, I was indeed on the title so avoid any forced sale should the unthinkable happen and the ex for what ever god created false accusation attempts to force a sale, I have the first right to buy out the other half. Thus holding onto this "huge" personal investment. Who wants to make such a commitment wondering if all the sweat and tears could be for not? NO one!

Here's a catch that I did find when we started to amalgamate all aspects of our lives. And there is nothing that is going to sound fair about this one!
There is a possibility that once you have legally married that the ex can take his CS order back to court and request an increase even if the increase is above the table amounts and his income has NOT increased. Here is how she would go about doing it, (remember hind site is 20/20 so keep this in mind). By getting married he is basically "freeing up" more of his income to be considered "disposable income". And the thought process behind this is that married individuals that both work, BOTH contribute to ALL the family expenses. So when you add your income to the equation, it means to the courts that he uses less of his income to pay his living expenses, thereby freeing up income so that he has the "ability" to pay more. This does not mean that the courts look at your income when determining CS, no! What they do is assume that the household expenses would be proportionally split, and this means less of his money is gone on basic living, and more is now available for CS should the ex so choose to say she "needs" more and he now has the "ability" to pay more. Does this make sense? My husband’s ex has friends in the legal field so she knows all the loop holes and let me tell you, she has used each and every stinking one of them on us. I’m convinced there is no law she has not exploited to her own benefit. Just an FYI when making choices as a married couple.

Oh yes, a legal will is a MUST! And he MUST include the son in the will in order to avoid the ex contesting it. If the son is not specifically mentioned in some capacity the ex has the legal right to have it contested and either gain all right to force the sale of “your combined” assets or a significant portion.
This is the courts way of continuing CS should the unthinkable happen.

I don’t want to scare you, but it’s best to be informed so there are no surprises.

[Maggie82]

Thank you for your response, FL. I found it quite informative, although a little scary too! But we've been through so much already, and we've learned how to cover our butts in many ways.

One thing that still urks me about my situation is the court ordered provision that my fiance has to name his son as the sole beneficiary of his life insurance. I - as his wife-to-be - do not think that is very fair. I also don't think it's necessary that my fiance provide full medical coverage for his son, if the child is already covered by the bio-mom's health benefits. But, that's what was court ordered. I think I need to start a new thread....