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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 07-22-2015, 06:30 PM
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Default Lice and child?

My daughter keeps coming to my home with lice after spending overnights at her mom's house. She keeps bringing it back to my home, and spreading it to the other children. I have spent hundreds to get it out of my home from a professional lice service but then she came back again today with lice.

Is there any way I can go to court to have her overnights in her mom's home stopped until she gets rid of the lice problem in her home?
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:09 PM
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Is the lice a symptom of a general cleanliness problem at the mom house?
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:44 PM
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Normal cleanliness habits do not prevent lice.

This could just as easily be pinned back to you, as eggs can survive 'professional' treatment.

I don't think court will help you with this. Perhaps you could cut her hair so that it is easier to deal with?
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Old 07-22-2015, 11:35 PM
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Its not an issue about cleanliness its just mom's unwilling to accept that there is a problem. She is just keeps saying they aren't in her home, so as much as i am treating she keeps coming back with it.

I am sure she just got it at school originally, the school had a really bad issue. I am not blaming mom for starting it just that I want her to treat it by actually getting at the egg's not just the box of nix shampoo.

I have talked to her about cutting her hair. Mom won't consent (she lives with me but we still share legal custody). She has very very long hair.
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Old 07-22-2015, 11:58 PM
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Dadx5,

I wrote to you privately... but feel this should become more public knowledge. Right off the bat, I can guarantee you as a European-born individual, cleanliness is de facto for my home. I mop every week, sweep / vacuum every day, dust bi-weekly, change bedding weekly... YET I faced 2 years of lice in my previous marriage amongst a multitude of children.

For parents here, including yourself, no amount of cleanliness in your home or your ex's home will protect your home(s) from a lice infestation.

FACT #1:
A lice infestation does not present its symptoms for at least 2 weeks. By then, typically the infestation has spread across household(s), family, and friends. The infestation is neither the fault of either household, least of all the child's -- keep that in mind and focus on it to prevent undue stress / blaming.

FACT #2:
Once the infestation is discovered, it is the onus between the 7-10 day treatments that they are met, including daily lice combings. This can become an issue between 2 households where one parent is on top of it and the other is "less engaged." Still, not the fault of the child. The child is shamed already and may be suspended from school causing social embarrassment.

Do not add another pressure on the child(ren) if you feel their other parent is not doing their part -- the child(ren) face enough in their social worlds by stigma to be burdened with the huffs and puffs of their own parents' complaints.

My own experience:

I faced lice in my home for 2 years straight (note above my domestic standards). It had nothing to do with my level of cleanliness / organization, but rather about my ex's ex who did not partake fully in the due diligence that was required between lice treatments. This meant that non-thorough "head checks" were fulfilled and, perhaps, the follow-up treatments were not administered at all. I do not know for a fact -- but I do know that a lice infestation was in our home for 2 years despite the focussed measures I took to address the matter.

What I learned to share with you (and anyone else facing this):

1) Lice symptoms are dormant for the first 2 weeks upon infestation -- this means, should someone in your home be infested, before those first symptoms of the infestation become known / are discovered, vast areas of your household -- including you -- may be in the preliminary stages of being infested.

2) I reiterate, this is not the child's fault.

3) Immediate treatment upon discovery is essential -- find a treatment plan that best suits you. Generally, over-the-counter treatments require a follow-up treatment between 7-10 days.

4) Lice combing daily per household is essential as well to remove newly-hatched eggs by the "live ones." It will be apparent there are live ones if you note bite marks / sores on the scalp -- this is their primary source of survival (blood, much like mosquitos).

What I have learned from this "horror" thrusted upon me with a multitude of children, eventually forced to hack off my toddler's beautiful curls:

5) Invest in a tail comb and learn how to section off the full head of hair in 4 quarters. Google what this means. It's not hard. Tie up each quarter with elastics except for the section you are lice combing.

6) Each quarter thereupon should be "sliced" by linear section -- upon taking this very fine section from that quarter with the tail comb, pull it straight with your most comfortable 2 forefingers as you glide down the entire shaft. Once that is done, pull the hair "up" in the opposite direction (so that you are feeling / looking for eggs in the opposite direction) to repeat the process on the reverse -- it's amazing what you can find between these two perspectives!

7) Repeat section by section per each quarter of head of hair. Long process -- depending on hair length and mass of hair, the process can take up to 6 hours / head. Hopefully you don't have that many kids with such hair types like I did... The process is worth it.

Another thing I learned:

8) Fresh eggs are laid close to the scalp. They are generally clear / translucent and small, generally found along the entire hairline (but not necessarily so) to include the fringe, behind the ears, and along the back hair line. Most overlooked is within the crown -- "the crown" is essentially where you would imagine an emperor's crown to be placed (the thickest of the hair surrounding that circular hair growth demarcated by a seeming bald spot).

9) Ready-to-hatch eggs are darker and bigger mid-shaft of the hair strands. The egg is harder too. These are so close to hatching, they are quite curtail to be rid of. Sometimes, you will find -- if you do the sectioning / slicing I've indicated -- empty "shells." This is where you look for "live ones" and fresh bites in the surrounding scalp area.

10) Live lice lay up to 15-30 eggs per day. The task to lice comb daily is vitally crucial.

Further to my experience:

11) Heat "fries" eggs. I kid you not! Invest yourself with a straight-iron.

12) Basically upon treatment, allow a day. Then wash hair and blow dry completely. Completely dried hair is essential to avoid the consequences of burning hair. See below.

13) Once hair is completely dry, upon the quarter-sectioning and slices noted above, per slice, straight iron the entire shaft of hair. The translucent eggs along the entire hair shaft "cooks" much like the eggs in our frying pans -- they turn white and are easy to spot for removal. Just follow the instructions of your straight iron...

14) The detriment to this secondary method is that a straight iron does not reach the scalp. Therefore, your blind eye continues to be required the added super-vision to remove those freshly-laid, transparent, smaller eggs... So what? That's a heck of a lot less work than looking through an entire hair shaft for translucent / camouflaged eggs!? LOL. Work is definitely cut down.

Lastly:

15) I guarantee my "article" as I've wanted to write for my own professional purposes will be hijacked here from here on forward... Whatever, it should be about what helps others... Right?

16) For maintenance since my 2-year ordeal, I have found there is a stigma, level of embarrassment, and misconception by those misinformed like I had once been.

17) At the end of the day, should an "ex" not produce due diligence, then educate your ex and provide him / her with the treatments for the follow-up due dates and the Lice Shield Shampoo / Conditioner preventatives.

All of this costs money but would you rather face the frustration of repeating this process weekly for years? I think not, and I went as far as asking my ex's ex for the additional few days to ensure the follow-up treatment was met. The daily stripping of beds and washing cushions / upholstery certainly deprived my abitly to focus on my home business for 2 years -- especially those days these 2 kids were suspended from school on their other parent's time (left to me, nowhere else to go) and they cried on my shoulder repeatedly. Their infestations affected the other children in the household and shame / resentment grew.

Do yourself a favour, take the precautions above and provide all steps and products to ensure this ends for your children's households. That's all that matters. Perhaps your willingness to supply the info / products will make your ex feel stupid... Should your ex retaliate, this will not bode well for her in court. This has been an extensive reply, a heartfelt one by 2 years of lice experience for children in dual homes.

[got that off my chest, I'm human :-) ]
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Old 07-23-2015, 12:02 AM
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I apologize for such a lengthy reply but I do hope it will become useful for many. It's not based on any "legal" opportunity but rather for the stigma that the children face, especially if they are suspended from school until their infestation is dealt with appropriately... Not legal. Children first. Keep a log if necessary but not a Motion or legal step to contemplate on its own.

Adieu. No offence intended.
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Old 07-23-2015, 01:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dadx5 View Post
My daughter keeps coming to my home with lice after spending overnights at her mom's house. She keeps bringing it back to my home, and spreading it to the other children. I have spent hundreds to get it out of my home from a professional lice service but then she came back again today with lice.

Is there any way I can go to court to have her overnights in her mom's home stopped until she gets rid of the lice problem in her home?
I don't think so. It would be impossible to prove that Mom is the source of lice, given how long they can live in the hair. She could just as easily be picking it up at your house. (And even if it were coming from Mom's house, terminating her access to Mom via the courts is a pretty extreme measure). These things tend to go in waves at schools, so if your daughter is plagued with lice, probably her friends are too. Keep using the lice shampoo and washing hats and bedding, and eventually it will subside. It's a hassle, but it's part of life.

(FWIW my bf's ex brought up lice in an affidavit when they were battling over custody, and the judge singled out the lice issue as an example of pointless and time-wasting nonsense on the ex's part. Not to say that you're like my bf's ex, but to say that this really isn't a court issue).
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Old 07-23-2015, 03:53 PM
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I don't want it to be a court issue. I just want both houses to be working on it so it stops spreading. Thanks for the lice tips though I will keep working on it.
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Old 07-23-2015, 04:36 PM
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Default Lice and child?

Lice love clean heads. Added to that, some kids just cant shake them. My niece had a recurring case they couldnt shake when she was five.

I know its a lot of work but what if when she returns home you immediately wash whatever shes wearing etc (stuffed animals etc) and then gave her an olive oil treatment. Douse her hair in olive oil and cover it with a bandana. Then after a few hours (or overnight) comb through it to remove the lice?

Sometimes the medication doesnt kill the eggs. Olive oil was the only thing that worked for my niece.

Last edited by rockscan; 07-23-2015 at 04:54 PM.
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Old 07-23-2015, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dadx5 View Post
Its not an issue about cleanliness its just mom's unwilling to accept that there is a problem. She is just keeps saying they aren't in her home, so as much as i am treating she keeps coming back with it.

I am sure she just got it at school originally, the school had a really bad issue. I am not blaming mom for starting it just that I want her to treat it by actually getting at the egg's not just the box of nix shampoo.

I have talked to her about cutting her hair. Mom won't consent (she lives with me but we still share legal custody). She has very very long hair.
It's a good thing mom's consent is not required for a haircut. It is NOT a major decision, medical, educational or religious in nature and is essentially the equivalent of cutting a kid's nails - which I assume you don't seek mom's consent for. Get her a super cute pixie cut to help cut down in the problem and make it easier to delouse if/when there is a problem. At some point, you need to use common sense and do what's best for the kid. There is ZERO harm in a haircut.
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