Letter of 'offer' from lawyer

[Kimberley]

I have no idea what is up with the snail mail, but it appears to have been on high octane.
So I got a letter from the lawyer which says things such as:

To further our telephone convo he has met with my ex & expects to be retained. That he is in the process of preparing his financial but does not expect to have it completed by court on Tues.
Then he says that he has been instructed to bring an application for divorce and to address the issues of custody, access & child support in the same proceeding, thus things will get transfered from ontario court to superior.
So he says that on tuesday in court he will advise the judge of the following:
1) the ex intends to bring the divorce application to superior court
2) That he is offering an interim, without prejudice child support amount of $500 per month payable on the 30th day of each month beginning this month
3) That he is asking to adjourn the proceeding to allow the ex a reasonable amount of time to bring the divorce application.

He goes on to also state that he would like access on the 2nd Sunday of every month from 9am to 7pm, and that he would generally spend this time with the kids at his parent's home. Also that he is aware of the no contact order against his partner and intends to abide by it. Access to being Sept 21.

So I guess I am wondering everyone's thoughts/concerns/tips etc before I consider my response to all this.
First of all I already faxed my 14C that I would be going ahead on all motions as I was required to do no later than 2pm today.
Also, what would I be taking on as far as the divorce is concerned. At the time of separation the only thing we jointly owned was debt. Otherwise we rent, there is no land, cars. The contents of the house we split quite a bit, but I did get the appliances - basically things the kids & I needed to live.

We split up just over 3 years ago no, so what are the implications here? The no contact order against his partner is in place until Dec 2009.

I could use any tips, help, anything you can offer as I want to feel prepared.

Thanks everyone!

[Kimberley]

oops it should say every 2nd Sunday for access, not the 2nd Sunday of the month. Silly me on the laptop when I posted.

[singledad99]

That's right, he can do that. Filing a divorce application under divorce act will automatically stay your provincial court application.

I assume you don't have his financials so it should be hard for you to judge whether or not $500 per month in child support is what he should be paying as per tables. The access he is asking is very reasonable, in my opinion.

There are good chances the judge is going to grant him adjournment based on the information that you have provided. However, the judge may not agree with interim support amount since he has not filed his financials nor has he filed his answer within required time. It looks to me he is only doing this to buy some more time.

I think you should see his financials before you could agree or disagree with his offer. Tell his lawyer that you would like his financials by Monday night or at least his last three years income tax assessments plus his current pay stubs. I don't think it should be hard to get that since it long past income tax time. If he does not provide that information before motion hearing, insist to judge a CS amount that you think is more reasonable and agree to the rest.

Those are just my thoughts.

[Kimberley]

Originally Posted by singledad99

That's right, he can do that. Filing a divorce application under divorce act will automatically stay your provincial court application.

But, will the court grant interim custody even though he is doing this? In my notice of motion filed on the 8th I requested interim support, custody, access, no less than 24 hours notice for visits and my costs (lost wages) - with the affidavit to support my motion providing detailed information of his previous offer of child support that was not paid etc.

Originally Posted by singledad99

I assume you don't have his financials so it should be hard for you to judge whether or not $500 per month in child support is what he should be paying as per tables. The access he is asking is very reasonable, in my opinion.

No I do not have any financial disclosure. The 30 days from the application passed before the first court date on September 2nd, where his lawyer requested the adjournment that was given to September 16th. The lawyer even states that he will not have it prepared for court on Tuesday either. So the question that remains is - if the $500 is under the guidelines, once he provides financial disclosure, am I able to request the difference that he should have been paying retroactive to the date of the offer (September 30th), and if so, how do I make that request, and to which court?
I have no issues with the access, in fact I am pleased that he is even made the offer for access since he goes months at a time without contacting or seeing the kids at all, and when he has it's been 90 minute visits, which is very unfair on the kids. Regardless of what I think of him, he's their father & I want them to have that contact and be able to look forward to the visitation days.

Originally Posted by singledad99

There are good chances the judge is going to grant him adjournment based on the information that you have provided. However, the judge may not agree with interim support amount since he has not filed his financials nor has he filed his answer within required time. It looks to me he is only doing this to buy some more time.

They have not filed anything with the court up to this point. I'm the only one that has provided anything - the application, the notice of motion, the affidavit along with exhibits that supported items in the affidavit. The issue right now is not actually the amount, but that he starts to pay something to help raise the children. Other than the $400 his lawyer had him send me at the end of August, I have not seen any money from him in any way in over a year.

Originally Posted by singledad99

I think you should see his financials before you could agree or disagree with his offer. Tell his lawyer that you would like his financials by Monday night or at least his last three years income tax assessments plus his current pay stubs. I don't think it should be hard to get that since it long past income tax time. If he does not provide that information before motion hearing, insist to judge a CS amount that you think is more reasonable and agree to the rest.

As I said above, at this point receiving something is better than absolutely nothing, so I'm on the fence a bit I suppose. It's taking a lot of thought and I'm not fully certain where I stand.
My worry in all this is the divorce. I do not know what he is up to in that regard and my biggest fear is that I will be forced to pay his costs just because I started court action against him to force him to help his children. I did what I could to avoid going to court. If I would ask him for money I was met with either excuses, or he would become verbally abusive. When he would tell me that he wouldn't pay me money because I would run out & spend it on myself for new clothes (something I never even did in the 14 years we were together) I offered for him to take the kids & buy them clothes himself, or their school lunch items - anything, just help support the kids, and he did not even do that.
All we owned was debt, so I imagine that if I am forced to pay his costs, I will have no choice but to claim bankruptcy & possibly lose my used vehicle that I am 13 months away from paying off.

Originally Posted by singledad99

Those are just my thoughts.

And I thank you for them, I appreciate the help I get here as it provides me with insight I would not have otherwise.

[Kimberley]

After a lot of thought, and a lot more reading, I have typed up a response to my ex's lawyer that I feel confident covers all the bases/concerns I have. Mostly to ensure that while I accept offers as reasonable for the time being to at least set things into motion, that they are under the understanding that
a) the divorce application/move to superior court are not to delay the final determination for custody/access/child support.
b) While I accept the $500 per month (based on the guidelines this works out to a paltry under $10/hr pay which I am certain he makes well over that), that once financial disclosure has been provided, he will be required to pay the difference retroactive to the date of the offer.
c) That this all be submitted to the court thus it's not another of his offers floating the in air that he is not bound by.
d) that in regards to the access, he must also adhere to the agreement and if he is unable to exercise his access he is required to give me ample notice to adjust the children's plans accordingly, but that it also provides them with structure etc
e) that I be awarded interim custody of the children
and finally
f) if he breaks the agreement it will be considered null & void

Of course I have worded it much differently in my offer, but just posted a basic idea/outline of my response here.
I am going to fax it over to his lawyer tomorrow morning & offer him to call if he wished to discuss it prior to court on Tuesday.

We'll see what happens, but I do feel hopeful that somethings may finally start moving towards a resolution and the children & I will finally be able to get on with our lives where there is more structure for everyone and less day-to-day stress.