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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 02-20-2012, 03:08 PM
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My wife has asked for a divorce and this has come out of the blue. I am in need of a good divorce lawyer, does anyone have any recommendations?
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Old 02-20-2012, 03:14 PM
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may help if you say where you are
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:03 PM
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My wife has asked for a divorce and this has come out of the blue. I am in need of a good divorce lawyer, does anyone have any recommendations?
BPD Central - borderline personality disorder resources - support

This article should be of some assistance in selecting a solicitor for your matter.
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Old 02-21-2012, 03:09 AM
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may help if you say where you are
My apologies.
kanata ontario. A suburb of Ottawa
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:08 AM
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I don't want to plug him, but Dannie Guspie at www.fathers-resources.com has a list of 6 or so well documented successful lawyers.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:45 AM
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I don't mean to bust-in on this thread but these statements always amaze me and I've heard them from both men, women, and my own ex spouse.

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My wife has asked for a divorce and this has come out of the blue.
Are you sure it came out of the blue?? In my own experience, I clearly remember years and years of communicating quite clearly that we had severe issues before it finally came to divorce and my ex claimed to anyone that would listen that he was "blindsided" by the divorce. I always found that amusing since he was the only person who was surprised I wanted to end the marriage. No one else was remotely surprised.

I just wonder if this type of statement is a symptom of someone who was so completely out of touch with their spouse that they totally ignored every warning sign of the coming demise of their marriage.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:52 AM
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I don't mean to bust-in on this thread but these statements always amaze me and I've heard them from both men, women, and my own ex spouse.



Are you sure it came out of the blue?? In my own experience, I clearly remember years and years of communicating quite clearly that we had severe issues before it finally came to divorce and my ex claimed to anyone that would listen that he was "blindsided" by the divorce. I always found that amusing since he was the only person who was surprised I wanted to end the marriage. No one else was remotely surprised.

I just wonder if this type of statement is a symptom of someone who was so completely out of touch with their spouse that they totally ignored every warning sign of the coming demise of their marriage.
Or alternatively a family in need of some sort of intervention that never got it so they could resolve their problems versus creating more through divorce.

It is amazing to see how many "magical thinkers" there are in affidavit materials. People set really high expectations for marriages. Too many end in divorce over problems and situations that could have been solved/avoided/fixed.

The problem is that neither party to the problem may have been given the tools to solve the problem or may have not considered the problem to be as huge as the other.

Studies on after-divorce are limited so it is hard to say who really is truly happy after divorce. It is a very complex adult relationship that is filled with "magical thinking" put on by the media that doesn't demonstrate any reality.

Good Luck!
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:03 PM
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The problem is that neither party to the problem may have been given the tools to solve the problem or may have not considered the problem to be as huge as the other.
It may be...one spouse is having the large majority of their needs met and therefore feels that they can indefinitely ignore the pleas of the other spouse. I haven't read many studies but I've had enough friends and family that have gone through divorce to see some similarities.

In my case, my ex spouse saw little need to change everything as he was happy and I wasn't...he considered my issues with our marriage "my problem" and told me that since it was "my problem" that I should fix it by myself. So I did.

Quote:
Studies on after-divorce are limited so it is hard to say who really is truly happy after divorce. It is a very complex adult relationship that is filled with "magical thinking" put on by the media that doesn't demonstrate any reality.
I don't know what the studies say about post-divorce happiness. All I know that in my case, despite all the divorce process traumas, its been the best thing I've ever done outside of giving birth. I can honestly say that I'm extremely happy. It was very very difficult having to suffer through separation living in the same house with my stbx but now that that is over...I can tell you that coming home to my new place everyday is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I love my little house and not having to live a lie anymore. Its really wonderful.

Again, sorry to highjack the thread. I just always find those comments a tad ironic.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:14 PM
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I have to agree with pursuing...this is the best move I've ever made. Many of my/our friends asked me "what took you so long". I too enjoy my new home, freedom, no stress, sleep is wonderful, meals are a joy and my children love the new me.

From what I've read there are more women leaving a marriage after the children are gone than ever before. They even have a name for us "The Silver Divorcees" too much lol lol.
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