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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-14-2015, 04:54 PM
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Default LAO Lawyer Playing Games to Mess with Final Order?

Ex and I attended mediation a couple of weeks ago and settled everything related to custody/access/child support for S2 on a final basis

Our next TMC is scheduled for first week of November and we expect a final order to be made by the judge.

During the mediation session, ex and I WATCHED the mediator email a copy of her report to ex's LAO lawyer so a draft of the final order could be prepared.

Today I emailed ex's LAO lawyer to ask when I could expect to get a draft of the final order and her response was that she never received the mediator's report.

Being na´ve, I believed her and put a call into the mediator to confirm she sent the report to the correct email address. I have not heard back from either the mediator or ex'x lawyer.

My mother flipped when she found out and told me I'm being played by ex's lawyer to shorten up the time I will have to review the final order or ask for changes that may be needed so that ex's lawyer can then pressure me to sign whatever she prepares just to get it over with.

Do I let the mediator and ex's lawyer work this out or do I send a scanned copy of the report to ex's lawyer myself to cut the crap if that is what is going on??

Last edited by YoungDad23; 10-14-2015 at 04:56 PM. Reason: clarity
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Old 10-14-2015, 06:33 PM
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You go ahead and prepare the order.
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Old 10-14-2015, 07:15 PM
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How did you complete a mediation, and not have a copy of the report yourself? You are self-rep, correct? Why was the report not sent to the LAO at your mediation, with cc's to both yourself and your ex? Who do you think dropped the ball here?

Nothing should be moving between you, a mediator, the ex and her LAO without your involvement. The moment you weren't cc'd in the report at mediation, should have raised the flags.
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Old 10-14-2015, 07:26 PM
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I think he does indeed have a copy of the report and watched the mediator send it to the LAO lawyer at the end of the mediation session.

He is well within his right to prepare the order himself and send it to the LAO lawyer for his approval.
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Old 10-14-2015, 09:36 PM
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Thanks for the comments.

Yes I do have a copy of the mediator's report. My ex and I both got a copy at the end of the session which was promptly scanned and put into my continuing record.

This isn't the first time ex's LAO lawyer has dropped the ball (intentionally or not). She is also the lawyer that attached 2 rejected Offers to Settle to a cross motion last year in an attempt to trick or intimidate me. She got reamed in by our case management judge open court for that stunt.

I go back and forth thinking she is either stupid, lazy or just plain incompetent.

To cover my ass, should I still email ex's LAO lawyer a scanned copy of the mediator's report and also prepare the order myself with my mom's help.

I routinely get compliments from the judge for being organized, doing my research and submitting well written documents thanks to my mom's ghost writing and her keeping me on track.

I just didn't know if a self-repped litigant could prepare the draft order when the other side has a lawyer.

@mcdreamy, I watched the mediator send the report by email to LAO lawyer.

Last edited by YoungDad23; 10-14-2015 at 09:37 PM. Reason: added info
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Old 10-14-2015, 10:39 PM
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Quit helping the other side. Just draft the order and send it.

Anyone can prepare an Order. Normally the winning party prepares the Order and submits it to the other party for approval. Your case is different in that it is a mediated settlement is it not?

If the opposing counsel does not return your draft then you can send to judge/court anyhow. Check the rules of court in your province about the procedure. People at the courthouse should be able to answer your questions (you may need to complete a form as well).

Many cases nowadays are between people who are self-represented. I would rather be the one preparing the Order than leaving it to the OC anyhow. Don't be surprised if the OC sends you a letter back objecting to whatever you have written. Then you can either make the changes she requests or send it on to the judge who may, in turn, refer it back to mediator. I am not certain how this works with a mediator so don't hold me to this 100%.

People do divorce, sell houses, buy businesses all the times without lawyers LOL.
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Old 10-15-2015, 10:21 AM
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Draft up the order in the prescribed formal format. Send copy to LAO to consent to. Then file it to have a judge okay it. Takes a while....especially with game playing LAO 's.
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Old 10-15-2015, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungDad23 View Post
Ex and I attended mediation a couple of weeks ago and settled everything related to custody/access/child support for S2 on a final basis.
Hopefully you walked out of the mediator's office with your own signed copy of the agreement that was reached that bears both yours and the other party to the matters signature. If you do not have this in hand then anything that was "discussed" and "agreed upon" is not official and may never become official.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungDad23 View Post
Our next TMC is scheduled for first week of November and we expect a final order to be made by the judge.
If you have a signed copy of what was agreed to (by both parties) then an order is just a technical thing. The document you have can and will be enforced as written. The making of it into an order is just a formal process. It would be a final order made on consent. You don't have to make everything an order. A well written agreement is just as binding as an order.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungDad23 View Post
During the mediation session, ex and I WATCHED the mediator email a copy of her report to ex's LAO lawyer so a draft of the final order could be prepared.
All fine and good but, did you walk out with a SIGNED agreement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungDad23 View Post
My mother flipped when she found out and told me I'm being played by ex's lawyer to shorten up the time I will have to review the final order or ask for changes that may be needed so that ex's lawyer can then pressure me to sign whatever she prepares just to get it over with.
Your mom is smart. But, you should have left the mediator's office with a signed agreement. Next time you (or anyone reading this thread) go to a mediator walk out with a signed agreement that the mediator witnesses. So many people go to mediation, resolve things and don't walk out with final and complete documentation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungDad23 View Post
Do I let the mediator and ex's lawyer work this out or do I send a scanned copy of the report to ex's lawyer myself to cut the crap if that is what is going on??
Hopefully it is an "agreement" and not a "report". If it bears no signature or witness to the agreement it is just a list of kind recommendations that require more negotiation and your mom is 100% correct... You are being played.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 10-15-2015, 07:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Your mom is smart. But, you should have left the mediator's office with a signed agreement. Next time you (or anyone reading this thread) go to a mediator walk out with a signed agreement that the mediator witnesses. So many people go to mediation, resolve things and don't walk out with final and complete documentation.

Hopefully it is an "agreement" and not a "report". If it bears no signature or witness to the agreement it is just a list of kind recommendations that require more negotiation and your mom is 100% correct... You are being played.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Thanks Tayken for your comments. Yes it is a mediator's report and not a signed agreement. It has a big disclaimer on it that we are both advised to seek independent legal advice before signing and that the terms are what we agreed to during the session but not necessarily binding.

Nothing got signed because ex has representation (LAO lawyer). Had we both been unrepresented, we would have been able to take the report down the hall to duty counsel so each of us could speak to a lawyer on our own and then sign it.

It would have been easy to sign it and have things settled but my mom pointed out that several specific clauses in our temporary order were not included that detail things like transportation of S2 between ex and I, summer vacation entitlement, Christmas, birthdays, etc.

My mother will now be turning the mediation report into a draft final order in the proper format and I will then send it to ex's lawyer to see where they go from there.

Both my parents told me this afternoon to give my head a shake if I think that my ex and I will now magically get along because of how well things went during one mediation session.

Instead of racing for the finish line, I want to make sure the final order has more structure and specifics in it than the mediator's report.

My ex has been high conflict and unreasonable for most of the last three years but once an order is made in court, either on consent or by the judge, she follows it.
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Old 10-25-2015, 08:59 AM
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Update:

Ex's LAO lawyer finally played her cards. I got an email from her last night (Saturday evening at 8 pm and she's working, ya right).

She forwarded my ex and I a copy of the exact same report the mediator gave each of us over 3 weeks ago and asked if we agree with the contents so she can draft the final order. WTF is she trying to pull??

I have already gone ahead and drafted the final order myself and will be attaching it to my TMC brief, which will be served and filed tomorrow.

I still don't know what her game is or if she is actually as lazy and incompetent as she seems to be.
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