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FPI 01-03-2006 12:02 PM

Kids wanted too remain with me an extra night
Yesterday, I had my children sleep over since both my ex and I agreed too having the children stay over on New Years Eve. My kids asked me if they also can spend the next day, Jan 2/06 at my place. I said it's fine with me if your mom say's ok. They called thier mom and asked them, she flat out said NO. They were crying for a while begging thier mom to let them sleep over, she would just hang-up the phone everytime they called her. I decided to call her myself and tell her they been off for school two weeks and I only have seen them 2 days, Just let them stay over. She said I had enough of this crap I will call my Lawyer tomorrow. I caved in and decided too bring them back too thier mom. The kids were crying all the way there. I just would like too know if there is no seperation agreement in place as of yet, did I have to bring them back? We still have not gone to court and as she put it I'm the boss. She has been gone since March 15,05. The kids have been living with her.

hubby 01-03-2006 02:26 PM

Why rock the boat
Obviously your spouse has unresolved issues that need dealing with and unexpected surprises are something she appears not to like.

You could politely ask her when she seems to be in a better mood that you would like to give her some rest for a day or two and if she would mind if you took the kids for a few days? It would make the kids happy and give her a chance to do anything she had planned to do but did not have time for.

Did you have to bring them back, probably not (at least for the day) , however, better to keep the peace than wage war! Especially with no Seperation agreement in place.


logicalvelocity 01-03-2006 04:32 PM

If there is no separation agreement in place or court orders for that matter, you have every right to spend time with the children. You did not have to return the children.

Document this event, as it is apparent that she is not very child centered.

Remember that both parents are equally entitled to custody.

If the children had 2 weeks off, I suspect you should of been entitled to see the children half the time.

This event will look bad on her when you do go to court. A custodial parent has a moral and legal obligation to maintain the children's relationship with the other parent.

Shame on her considering the time of year.

Grace 01-03-2006 08:18 PM

I'm with Logicalvelocity on this one. I wouldn't have asked for her permission. I would have just called to let her know the children were staying an extra day.

FPI 01-03-2006 09:40 PM

Should of kept them
I really wanted to keep my children with me last night; However, I only decided to allow them too return as not to cause any more grief for me. As I said earlier she threatened too call her lawyer today. Which she properly still did? I pray that somehow I can get joint 50/50 arrangement when I finally end up in court.
To make thinks worse, when my kids called to say good night my son forgot to hang up the phone and I heard my ex saying I’m the boss your father can’t tell you what to do, I’m talking to my lawyer tomorrow, she was yelling for about 5 minutes until she realized the phone line was still open.

Grace 01-03-2006 09:54 PM

It's a shame when the children are placed in the middle. Kids just want to have both parents love them. Bad mouthing a spouse in front of the children causes them serious harm mentally.

I wouldn't take her threats about calling her lawyer seriously. So what if she does.

Be careful that she is holding back your access to the children and letting "status quo" set in, which I suspect may be her motive.

FPI 01-03-2006 10:01 PM

Does status Quo mean that she will be the primary care giver, therefore making it difficult for me to get joint custody? My Lawyer has not advised me as of yet on this. I do not want to jeopardize my changes. She has been gone since March of last year with the children. In my Case Conference Brief it says that I am requesting equal custody. 50/50. I will be attending my case conference on February 22. Originally it was scheduled for November 23/05, but the failed to confirm the date.

Grace 01-03-2006 10:32 PM

It depends on what arrangements have been made since separation to present. Are the children living with her? How much time are you spending with them currently? Courts are reluctant to disturb the "status quo". This means that wherever the children have been residing since the separation of the parents, they will probably stay there until the judge renders a final decision.

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