joint custody to full custody

[CN01]

Just wondering...what are the chances of the courts giving me full custody of my son? I have joint custody with my ex and he has not paid his child support nor been a part of my son's life. Once a year he might call and feed my son his b/s and lies. And my son gets his hopes up high only to get disappointed when he realizes his father didn't have any gifts for him for his birthday, or Christmas as promised. It kills me to see my son so sad and wonder why his father is the way he is. I'm hesitate to go back to court because the first time around cost me a fortune and I remember a lawyer telling me....that a father could be out of a child's life for 10 years and decides he wants to be a part of the child's life again and the court will grant the father his wishes. Is that possible???

[momof1]

how can he get away with no child support?
you should at least be getting that for him
I would think that a judge would give you full custody

[CN01]

Oh there was a court order for him to pay child support, and they were garnishing his wages, but he kept quiting and getting another job and everytime they started garnishing his wages he'd quit again and find another job. Now he just works for cash under the table... I don't even know where he lives or have any form of contact with him. My son still is in contact with his mother (my son's grandmother) but she won't tell me anything about him.

[momof1]

I am not a lawyer but I would think that you would get full
custody. The man isn't in the picture , so what else is
to be done. The only thing is that he might come back into
the picture in the future and may want to see your son
I give you alot of credit for doing things on your own , financially
and all . I have been thru the same thing . I never thought about
the custody thing. I just continued with assuming I was full custody
because I made the everyday decisions and stuff . now my kids
are teens almost over that. Their dad didn't pay support or same
situation as you ..... I didn't bother with the court thing , doesn't
make sense to spend money for something that is so obvious.

[alreadydid3]

I can't see a reason to go back to court and waste more money when you already have full custody even though papers say joint. Only my opinion but... even with full custody your ex can come back whenever he feels like it and it will still be up to your son whether he wants a relationship with him or not. No papers are going to change that.
My ex left when our youngest was 2 weeks old and after 15 years without one cent of support and only seeing the boys a handful of times... he went on welfare and then took me to court and had all of the 15 years in back support rescinded... and they let him... said "you can't get blood from a stone." He then talked our son into moving in with him and within three months our son had quit All-Star Baseball, started smoking, and was expelled from school. Once my ex wasn't receiving welfare for the boy he threw him out. As I say... papers won't stop what your ex and son... as well as courts.. decide later on.

[logicalvelocity]

CN01,

Very sad story, I hope your child is doing okay in the face of abandonment and rejection of the other's parent's absence.

Ultimately, there is no law in the world that can compel a parent to be a parent to the child and participate in the child's life. It appears he has no interest in the child.

The first thing you have to do is separate the issues as they are independent of one another,

that being said your issues are custody, child support, and access

1) Custody, legally as ordered you have a Joint Custody regime of your child. Considering the circumstances, I think you would have no problem whatsoever in having this changed as it appears you are the one acting as a sole parent for the child. This should be varied. to an order that reflects the situation.

2) Child support - is the right of the child's. Regardless of what custody regime is in place it should be paid.

3) Access - it is not an issue at this time as the absent parent is not exercising the child's access. To keep the door open for the child, have this changed to something " reasonable access on reasonable notice" this gives you the discretion to determine what is reasonable and will show to the court that you are child centered.


I think your main issue child support. This is somewhat problematic. You first have to locate the individual. Have you checked with his family members. Perhaps they know where he is located. You could hire a PI but depending on the circumstance this could get expensive. You could bring forth an action with the court, ie: ex parte motion, but odds are he wouldn't show up for any subsequent hearings. It would be an exhaustive effort and very little would be accomplished to improve the situation.

I would concentrate locating the individual. If located, request full and frank financial disclosure from him. If he chooses to not co-operate then there could be dire consequences for him. It is very difficult for a court to even input an income to him without any financial background. I suspect the individual would evade the hearings.

One thing is certain, he is living somewhere and is living somehow, suggesting he does have an income of some sort.

have you tried searching for a telephone number

www.canada411.ca


LV

[CN01]

WOW thanks all you guys for replying. Now what happens if I plan to take my son on a family trip with my boyfriend and my second son...will I not need a signature from my first son's father allowing me permission to take my son out of the country? Is there any way to go abouts this? I want so badley to take him some where.

[logicalvelocity]

CN01,

I have heard of a number of persons having problems at the border even when they have had the child's passport / court order etc.

I was told by my own member of parliament to have a notarized letter signed by the other party having their permission and they were aware of the itinerary of the child. No one needs trouble at the border.

LV

[CN01]

But I don't have any form of contact with the father, so how would I go abouts to taking my son on a trip or even to the States?

[logicalvelocity]

CN01,

I would take the matter back to court and have the current joint custody order varied, and have a sole custody regime put in place. The other parent is not living up to the joint custodial order. I suspect the individual probably wouldn't show up for the hearing. You could do it ex parte, but then you would have to serve the other party and give them an opportunity to respond to the evidence at a subsequent hearing.

It easier to just bring forth a motion to vary the current order.

LV