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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-12-2015, 12:06 PM
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You just need to present all the arguements and show heavily they weigh. The 13 year old is quite old and his opinion will matter, furthermore they won't split the kids. What would the kids say?

if this ISN'T a slam dunk you know there is a problem in the system.
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Old 06-12-2015, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
You just need to present all the arguements and show heavily they weigh. The 13 year old is quite old and his opinion will matter, furthermore they won't split the kids. What would the kids say?

if this ISN'T a slam dunk you know there is a problem in the system.
My youngest doesn't want to move although my ex has been trying to sell him on the idea. He loves life the way it is and has really been doing well at school, making friends, playing organized sports. My oldest is only agreeing with my ex because he's mad at me for grounding him for skipping school.
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Old 06-12-2015, 01:29 PM
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I'm not a lawyer, but it sounds to me like Mom doesn't really have a case. An on-and-off boyfriend and a thirteen-year-old who's ticked off because he was grounded don't outweigh three years of 50/50, an existing order for same, and an established home and school routine for the kids. I would just let her bark about this one - I don't see it going anywhere. Just keep reiterating that you believe the existing situation (50/50) is in the children's best interests, therefore you do not consent to changes to the order.
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Old 06-12-2015, 02:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddie View Post
My youngest doesn't want to move although my ex has been trying to sell him on the idea. He loves life the way it is and has really been doing well at school, making friends, playing organized sports. My oldest is only agreeing with my ex because he's mad at me for grounding him for skipping school.
Hmmm.... be-careful the whole "because I grounded him" will be hard to prove..... In the judgement its going to say. I would be sure to establish that he did skip school (via documented teacher school interactions) that you grounded him and what your ex did or did not do. EVEN then you will have to make the link between his decision and the grounding....

However, I still wouldn't even think about it unless there is a motion you are served with.

"The older child wanted to move and would have missed there mother too much who is going to improve her employement options and start a life with her long-time partner"

Its all spin, I've noticed even judges SPIN in their judgements to make what they are doing is making sense or they choose to ignore facts that don't jive with their prejudice..... or they embellish minor points to make it seem like they are major.

However, I wouldnt worry at all until I had been served.
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Old 06-12-2015, 02:13 PM
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I know someone who went through this and won self repped. His ex couldnt prove the benefit to moving the kids out of the community they had grown up in and had very strong educational and sport ties to. Both kids wanted to go but dad fought it and won. The decision hinged on her inability to show how it would benefit the kids. She couldnt prove that it would.
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Old 06-12-2015, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I know someone who went through this and won self repped. His ex couldnt prove the benefit to moving the kids out of the community they had grown up in and had very strong educational and sport ties to. Both kids wanted to go but dad fought it and won. The decision hinged on her inability to show how it would benefit the kids. She couldnt prove that it would.
She wasn't going to:
1. get a better job or
2. get married in a solid relationship or
3. move closer to extended family
Those 3 reasons pretty much guarantee sole custody parents can move.....
Shared custody is another ballgame....
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Old 06-13-2015, 12:27 AM
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I don't see a case for her here. Disrupting the kids routine, and minimizing time with Dad (who they have a well established relationship with) is not in their best interests.

From the case law I read, the judge has to assume that she will move (with or without the kids) and determine what is best for the kids. The court will assess: Is there family (and support) in the current location? Is the same in the new location? Does she have a job lined up that she can prove? Will the kids standard of living be better in the new location? Can Dad support the kids if she leaves? Etc...you get the idea. It's about the kids - not her desire to meet up with her boyfriend. The on-off again thing with the boyfriend will also come into play. It's about stability for the kids.
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Old 06-15-2015, 09:28 AM
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My case conference is a couple of days away and my ex just added to her brief with a four page addendum about my wife. It's 4 pages of mud slinging and "he did this", and "she called me that", and "the kids are abused", and "I was threatened" and on and on.

I was expecting the worst and that's what we're getting. I think I just need to state that I'm not responding to all of these allegations unless the court needs me to. I don't know, it is a huge waste of everyone's time to argue over unproven allegations.

She is making a complete ass out of herself.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 06-15-2015, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
She is making a complete ass out of herself.
Why not? She loses nothing, they're hoping some mud sticks....
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 10:39 AM
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Attended the case conference and my lawyer feels that it went exactly as planned. The master presiding over it didn't say a whole lot. He essentially urged both parties to resolve the initial motion to change issue of changing the weekly exchange day.

He then said that my ex has a right to seek a mobility clause if she wants to move. He never offered an opinion as to whether or not she will get one. He did say that if she starts the process that she better not change her mind part way through or he will award full costs to me.

I still think that she has no intention to move and that this is a scare tactic to have me back down. Her lawyer is requesting our consent to involve the OCL in exchange for a change to a Friday weekly exchange day. That could solve the minor issue we first brought forward.

My concern is that my 13 year old (non-biological son but raised since birth) has been living at his mom's for the last couple of months because, essentially there are no rules and he has been skipping school without consequence. If the OCL is involved and considers his wishes, would they also recommend that his 8 year old brother (my bio son) move with them. My oldest has been diagnosed with adhd, and odd (oppositional defiance disorder) and does not have the maturity of a typical kid his age. I'm worried about putting the ball in their court because he may side with his mother just so he can live his life exactly how he pleases.

My ex is a shift worker and claims that she will be doing the same work in BC. There is next to no family out there and whatever family is there, the kids have never met. Currently where we live, my kids have friends, sports, grandparents, aunts, uncles. I work a straight 8-4 Monday - Friday job and my so does the kids stepmother. We have a stable home and a consistent home.

Any advice on how to proceed? Any recommendations on who to get reference/opinion letters from (i.e. doctors, teachers, principal, daycare)?
Any info would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I am worrying too much and my lawyer keeps telling me he's not worried.....but hey, I still worry.
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