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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-29-2009, 01:12 PM
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Default Internet/Phone Access: Concerns

I have a quick question regarding my family case: the one involving my ex and our son.
As you might recall, she was convicted of the abuse, and has just finished serving her community sentence. She now wants to have access to our son. Our previous attempt at a settlement conference failed partly because of concerns about jurisdiction (the judge feels Ontario no longer has jurisdiction over the kids), as well as concerns about her stability (the internet chats with our daughter has not been very healthy, and the judge and I agreed on ongoing concerns about her emotional stability -- in fact the judge was very angry at some of the content she read). As a result, the order prohibiting access was not modified - the judge simply refused to make an order, and suggested that I handle the case in Michigan. But the problem is that because of the criminal conviction, she can't easily enter US without a lengthy application for a waiver. And the US courts are not so inclined to hear the case without the other party being present. So, it seems, to be fair, the case has to be heard in Canada. i still have to decide on the jurisdiction issue, and who pays for transportation for the court hearings, and eventual access to the kids.


In the meantime, she wants to have internet / phone charts. The conditional sentence order prohibited such access, unless modified by custody or access order. So now that she has finished serving the sentence, can she just have internet/phone access without such modification? I believe we still need to appear before a judge or at least have a consent order authorizing such access. She on the other hand seems to think that she can just have access without modification or that we can mutually agree on the modification and go ahead without the involvement of the courts. The other night, she called to speak to our daughter, and at the end of the conversation, wanted the phone to be given to our son.

I am wary of her position. While I am attempting to balance her needs as well as that of our daughter (who has clearly expressed a desire to chat/talk with her mother), I don't want to be in breach of an existing order. I therefore would be very grateful if you could shed some insights with me - partly with regard to what happens after the sentencing order is served, and access issues need to be tackled.

Thanks - Punda
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Old 10-29-2009, 02:27 PM
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If you both agree, you can certainly arrange some internet chat/talk access.

If you agree to something outside of the order, and it becomes a habit (whether or not you were entirely happy with it), then your ex *could* bring it to court to get the order changed to reflect the new status quo.
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Old 10-29-2009, 02:33 PM
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I also think so --- that it could become part of a consent order. I was only worried that the judge might not think I am breaching an order by agreeing to have the phone / internet access in the first place.

in this case, its been 3 years since son and mother had a conversation, so i thought it would look *good* to permit it, especially given the son's desire to do so.

if it all goes well, it can be incorporated into an order. what do you think?

cheers, Punda

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Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
If you both agree, you can certainly arrange some internet chat/talk access.

If you agree to something outside of the order, and it becomes a habit (whether or not you were entirely happy with it), then your ex *could* bring it to court to get the order changed to reflect the new status quo.
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Old 10-29-2009, 03:01 PM
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Judges like it when parents cooperate and encourage each other's contact with their children!
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Old 10-29-2009, 03:03 PM
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thanks very much - Punda

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Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Judges like it when parents cooperate and encourage each other's contact with their children!
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