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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 06:36 PM
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I had the same question. According to the police (whom I spoke to the day after the incident), it would be difficult to make a drunk-driving charge stick because when they got there, he wasn't actually driving. Apparently it's not against the law to sit in the driver's seat of a non-moving car while plastered. The police would have had to rely on hearsay from the parents and staff which, while pretty convincing, could get thrown out if ex decided to be a jerk and contest it. The cop told me their rule of thumb is that if the ignition isn't turned on, the "driver" isn't driving.

Same thing with child endangerment - by the time the police got there, Kid was not in danger (thanks to quick action of staff and parents). She was in the playground with a staff member. So once again, it would have been hearsay.

The other possible charge would be "causing a child to be in need of protective services". This one could have stuck. But the cop said they didn't pursue it because it's essentially a slap on the wrist ($200 fine). The cop also said he didn't want Kid to see her father taken away in handcuffs, which I can agree with. Dad in the police car was bad enough.

I'm sure there was an element of not wanting to do all the paperwork/having more urgent cases to attend to as well.

The cop did tell me that he noted in ex's file that ex could have been charged with three offenses but the police used their discretion and did not charge. He said that with that note in the file, if ex is picked up again, he will definitely be arrested. Apparently he's literally used his get-out-of-jail-free card.
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Old 05-09-2017, 09:14 PM
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you know what... it really doesn't matter. Who cares about your ex. Priority is you and your daughter.

You get this shit straightened out. You present whatever documents are necessary to ensure you have total and absolute control over your daughter's access to her father. (If he's not 100% dickhead then he will agree.)

You need to impress upon the judge that someone, somewhere, somehow (you) needs to be able to gauge the situation, on the fly, to ascertain if your daughter should be in contact with your ex. That's the nubs man. Judge's aren't retards and know the cycle of addiction....they get it. At the same time, you need to realize (judge will know this) that ex needs "consequence" for his actions.

If the father is unfit then he should not have access until he poses no risk to daughter.

Does your ex have a sponsor that you can contact?
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Old 05-09-2017, 09:19 PM
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BTW - police are incorrect in this situation (which is not an unusual occurrence). I would have a chat to the duty manager/staff sergeant about this.

This is actually, quite outrageous IMO.

I would talk to your lawyer/contact your local school board. Tell them that in light of the situation you must insist that the school board pay for taxi for your daughter for the remainder of the year. Their policy does not ensure safety of your daughter....

Don't scoff at this. My son was exposed to an allergic situation when he was in school and the school board paid for taxi for the remainder of the school year. (10 months)
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Old 05-09-2017, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
BTW - police are incorrect in this situation (which is not an unusual occurrence). I would have a chat to the duty manager/staff sergeant about this.

This is actually, quite outrageous IMO.

I would talk to your lawyer/contact your local school board. Tell them that in light of the situation you must insist that the school board pay for taxi for your daughter for the remainder of the year. Their policy does not ensure safety of your daughter....

Don't scoff at this. My son was exposed to an allergic situation when he was in school and the school board paid for taxi for the remainder of the school year. (10 months)
Lmao school isn't going to pay for taxi for rest of year. good luck with that one.

Father obviously had intentions to drive if he was picking up kids from school. was he intoxicated to the point of being legally imapired to drive? absolutely not - no hard evidence to prove his intoxication level.
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Old 05-10-2017, 12:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
BTW - police are incorrect in this situation (which is not an unusual occurrence). I would have a chat to the duty manager/staff sergeant about this.

This is actually, quite outrageous IMO.

I would talk to your lawyer/contact your local school board. Tell them that in light of the situation you must insist that the school board pay for taxi for your daughter for the remainder of the year. Their policy does not ensure safety of your daughter....

Don't scoff at this. My son was exposed to an allergic situation when he was in school and the school board paid for taxi for the remainder of the school year. (10 months)
The after-school centre is in the school, and ex has already been banned (police have given him notice that if he comes on the property, he is trespassing and police will be called). Right now, I'm the only person that Kid can be released to (and my emergency contact).

I thought of complaining about the no-charges, but I need the goodwill of the responding officer - he's been very helpful in terms of figuring out what my options are.
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Old 05-10-2017, 12:15 AM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Lmao school isn't going to pay for taxi for rest of year. good luck with that one.

Father obviously had intentions to drive if he was picking up kids from school. was he intoxicated to the point of being legally imapired to drive? absolutely not - no hard evidence to prove his intoxication level.
I didn't see him, but two cops, five staff members, four parents and an unknown number of kids did - all say he smelled of alcohol and was unsteady on his feet (leaning on staff to stay upright when he walked), as well as mumbling and not making sense when he talked. So even if we take the most charitable explanation and say there's no proof he was ingesting alcohol, he was still impaired by something to the point of being incapable of driving. He's also acknowledged to me via email that he went to the liquor store and got drunk before going to the school.

And I suspect you're trolling, so this is the last post of yours on this thread I'll respond to.
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Old 05-10-2017, 12:21 AM
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I feel sorry for your child having to see all that. If you ask me the father should have supervised access until he gets his act together. Who picks their child up drunk?
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Old 05-10-2017, 01:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
I didn't see him, but two cops, five staff members, four parents and an unknown number of kids did - all say he smelled of alcohol and was unsteady on his feet (leaning on staff to stay upright when he walked), as well as mumbling and not making sense when he talked. So even if we take the most charitable explanation and say there's no proof he was ingesting alcohol, he was still impaired by something to the point of being incapable of driving. He's also acknowledged to me via email that he went to the liquor store and got drunk before going to the school.

And I suspect you're trolling, so this is the last post of yours on this thread I'll respond to.
I wouldn't have suggested supervised access in earlier post if I was trolling. if he sent email he was drunk and you have all that observation by so many witnesses then on balance of probabilities yes he was intoxicated.
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Old 05-10-2017, 01:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
you know what... it really doesn't matter. Who cares about your ex. Priority is you and your daughter.

You get this shit straightened out. You present whatever documents are necessary to ensure you have total and absolute control over your daughter's access to her father. (If he's not 100% dickhead then he will agree.)

You need to impress upon the judge that someone, somewhere, somehow (you) needs to be able to gauge the situation, on the fly, to ascertain if your daughter should be in contact with your ex. That's the nubs man. Judge's aren't retards and know the cycle of addiction....they get it. At the same time, you need to realize (judge will know this) that ex needs "consequence" for his actions.

If the father is unfit then he should not have access until he poses no risk to daughter.

Does your ex have a sponsor that you can contact?

I hope you're right. I hope I get a judge who understands something about addiction, and who can grasp that even if ex is in a lucid phase and sounds reasonable and swears up and down that he's going to get help and stay sober, his track record shows he can't be trusted. And I hope the judge also grasps that I am not trying to keep Kid away from her father, I'm trying to create a situation in which she can stay safe.

If ex is sober, I have no problem making decisions with his involvement. But you're right, when ex is not sober I have to be able to make the decisions about Kid without his (drunken) permission, and for that I need sole custody. It's possible that in mediation, assuming that he's sober, ex will understand the reasoning for sole custody to me and access to him. But that's unlikely. I need to prepare to go to court.

It's hard to get past the feeling that by seeking sole custody I'm somehow screwing ex over or being vindictive. I really wanted shared parenting to work.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2017, 08:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Lmao school isn't going to pay for taxi for rest of year. good luck with that one.

Father obviously had intentions to drive if he was picking up kids from school. was he intoxicated to the point of being legally imapired to drive? absolutely not - no hard evidence to prove his intoxication level.
Perhaps you missed my post - the school board DID pay for taxi for a year in my situation.

If school board gets so much of a hint of litigation they will do whatever they can to immediately resolve the problem. If school staff knowingly allowed an impaired parent to drive a child then they could be in very serious trouble. In this situation the staff did not release child to the impaired parent.

Last edited by arabian; 05-10-2017 at 08:27 AM.
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