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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-13-2013, 06:38 PM
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Default how serious is this ?

Hi all,

I have filed a motion for more access, stbx's lawyer has cross filed a motion to have the children's current residence in Toronto (stbx is living with her parents) made their primary residence.

How worried should I be ? Is their tactic to try and move proceedings from Ottawa area to Toronto ? The new status quo is in fact such that the children are residing with the stbx.

It would be more difficult for me to fight this in Toronto. She knows that I would not be able to self represent as effectively as the travel would be an obstacle. Regardless I am prepared to fight on.

Thoughts ?
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:41 PM
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If your only question is "How worried should I be?" then the answer is, you should be worried.

As has been said to you before, you should have dealt with this move at the time. Waiting until now lowers your chance of success, because your inaction is proof to the other party that neither you nor the children are incurring any damage.

The fact is, now is now. We cannot change the past.

IMHO your best argument is that your ex is dependant on their parents, and this cannot be seen to be a stable situation for the children.

You will seek a stable long term situation for the children, which you can show that you can provide.

I'm not saying you will win, but this should be one of your primary arguments.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:49 PM
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Look buddy, my personal position is that I want you to win and I want you have your children.

Your argument is that if you had acted earlier, you would have humiliated and stressed your children by pulling them out of school in Toronto and bringing them back into the school they had been in all along.

If that was true a few months ago, it is still true now. It is still true in Novemeber. It is still true in December. It is still true in January.

When does it stop being true?

You have lost that argument. You need a new argument.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
If your only question is "How worried should I be?" then the answer is, you should be worried.

As has been said to you before, you should have dealt with this move at the time. Waiting until now lowers your chance of success, because your inaction is proof to the other party that neither you nor the children are incurring any damage.

The fact is, now is now. We cannot change the past.

IMHO your best argument is that your ex is dependant on their parents, and this cannot be seen to be a stable situation for the children.

You will seek a stable long term situation for the children, which you can show that you can provide.

I'm not saying you will win, but this should be one of your primary arguments.
It was not intended as inaction. I had an extremely poor lawyer. Who I could not get a hold of half the time.

I filed a motion on an urgent basis and thought it would be best to let the kids finish school at there new spot. Also sbtx involved childrens aid and they have only now pulled back as they have found nothing.

I regret the way it played out. My mistake is I hired an idiot for a lawyer.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:54 PM
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Look, if I were you I would be freaking out because my kid were hundreds of km away from me and I had no hope of gettting them back. I get it. I feel this.

Poor lawyer or not, you made a decision. I'm not condemning you, I am telling you that if you want to make a legal argument, you need a legal basis for it.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Look buddy, my personal position is that I want you to win and I want you have your children.

Your argument is that if you had acted earlier, you would have humiliated and stressed your children by pulling them out of school in Toronto and bringing them back into the school they had been in all along.

If that was true a few months ago, it is still true now. It is still true in Novemeber. It is still true in December. It is still true in January.

When does it stop being true?

You have lost that argument. You need a new argument.
Mess, I filed when the kids got out of school. Had my CC delayed until Sept 26, and then filed a motion for more access which is being heard on Oct 18th. These things are difficult to time.

Push come to shove i am bound for Toronto.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Look, if I were you I would be freaking out because my kid were hundreds of km away from me and I had no hope of gettting them back. I get it. I feel this.

Poor lawyer or not, you made a decision. I'm not condemning you, I am telling you that if you want to make a legal argument, you need a legal basis for it.
ok, understood. thanks.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:58 PM
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You can't have shared/joint between Ottawa and Toronto. You can't drop the kids off at school every day 200 km away. It is going to come down to an argument of who has full custody.

Really, I wish it were easier on you, but it's not going to be.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Look, if I were you I would be freaking out because my kid were hundreds of km away from me and I had no hope of gettting them back. I get it. I feel this.

Poor lawyer or not, you made a decision. I'm not condemning you, I am telling you that if you want to make a legal argument, you need a legal basis for it.
BTW, nothing legally is stopping me from bringing my kids back home right now. I am trying to play by the rules and not look aggressive.
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:03 PM
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Without advising you to act in any illegal manner, if you feel that you are acting within the law and in the best interest of the children, then your oblitgation is to ACT IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN.
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