How long?

[Sk8r]

I am wondering how long most of you have been in the divorce process or if you are already divorced, how long did it take from Separation to the signed paper.

My divorce took very little time - less than 3 months, but we agreed to divorce and settle financial and custody issues separately because my ex wanted to remarry. (doing it this way was a bad idea by the way)

[Grace]

I'm heading into my four year of litigation. Hard to believe!!! It's slow going through the court system. I don't wish it on anyone.

Why do regret getting it over with quickly?

[Jeff]

Most cases I see take 1 to 2 years. In a very amicable case, it may be about 6 months. I've seen cases go more quickly, but that's very rare!

In all fairness, as a lawyer I probably see the worst cases. More amicable cases may go through mediation or be resolved without the help of any third party. And there are certainly cases where young people marry, realize they've made a mistake, don't have much money or any children, and just walk away without any legal disputes.

[Grace]

When one or both of the parties to the dispute is bent on revenge, and the hostility level is high, recourse to the court for conferences and motions used to harass rather than to achieve a resolution can occur. This is also called legal bullying.

Sadly, there is a small minority of family law lawyers who see themselves as hired guns whose job is to follow uncritically whatever instructions the client gives without attempting to persuade the client to more reasonable courses of action. The revenge-seekers and the harassers find these lawyers eventually, often by firing one or more lawyers who do not agree to act simply as hired mouthpieces. Having such counsel on the other side of a file causes resolution-seeking lawyers to shudder, batten down the hatches, and advise their clients that if they wish to soldier on that it is going to be a long and expensive fight, often taking years to resolve, that is likely limited only by the funds that the other party has to pay their lawyer. Such hostile parties will also fight on, self-represented when they have parted company with their final counsel when the money to pay fees runs out.

[Sk8r]

Originally Posted by Grace

I'm heading into my four year of litigation. Hard to believe!!! It's slow going through the court system. I don't wish it on anyone.

Why do regret getting it over with quickly?

Well - with the divorce being final, there has been absolutely no "urgency" in clearing up the rest of it. If he were still waiting to be divorced, we would have settled our issues LONG ago.