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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 04-16-2017, 06:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
...and I do not find this remark surprising coming from Janus.
If you are referring to the gendered language, I was considering real female victims. Women who cry wolf don't cause an issue for men who make complaints, much like men who reject custody don't cause a problem for women who are trying to get custody.

Quote:
Prohibited conduct
Quoting the law, as if that is some sacred bible of righteousness?

Hopefully you don't paint your wooden ladder. In Alberta, it's the law!

Meanwhile, here in Toronto I had better not swear in a public park, it's the law!

Anyhow, I've changed my mind. Every woman should complain to the police if there is the faintest possibility of violence. Hint: If you are female, and you have lived with a male, then there is a possibility of violence. Therefore, every woman should have a chat with the police. Kinda like a real life DoS attack. Some innocent victims might get hurt, but better safe than sorry.
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Old 04-16-2017, 07:00 PM
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Oh! Found some better ones. I'll do like Arabian and quote the law to make it look all official and such.

Quote:
365 Every one who fraudulently

(a) pretends to exercise or to use any kind of witchcraft, sorcery, enchantment or conjuration,

(b) undertakes, for a consideration, to tell fortunes, or

(c) pretends from his skill in or knowledge of an occult or crafty science to discover where or in what manner anything that is supposed to have been stolen or lost may be found,

is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.

R.S., c. C-34, s. 323.
It's the law! Now that I think about it, my ex used to pretend to do some magic spells with the kids when they were young. In fact, one might say that she held herself out to be a sorcerer who could create enchantments.

I think it is time I had a little chat with the police about the ex.
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Old 04-16-2017, 07:29 PM
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Get the heck off my thread Janus. You are disrespectful and rude and I will NOT tolerate you bashing me or any other person has a legitimate concern. Would you like me to forward you the texts? Or perhaps your want to see the picture of the bruises? Or do I need to provide you witness statements?
YOU are the reason women like me don't report. Because if you can't see the evidence, it didn't happen.
Go ahead and do a search on my posts. You will read 8 years of the same fng story. And I have met much more intelligent trolls than you.


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Old 04-16-2017, 09:16 PM
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Hmmm I think I hit a weak spot in Janus' armor.... very interesting indeed.

The poster in this thread obviously doesn't appreciate being accused, least of all by a long-time member of our forum, of falsely accusing her ex of domestic violence.

The poster is simply asking for advice on how to stop the harassment she and her family receive from her ex. And yes, the poster has indicated that she feels threatened.

So Janus, if you think all women are false-accusers then you should probably find another place to post.

Oh and Billiechic - take the information you have provided into the police station. Police are well-informed of "THE LAW" and hopefully provide you with due respect and assistance with your inquiry (likely much more respect that you will obtain on this forum). Perhaps ask the police to explain the difference between a restraining order and a peace bond. You can also get the same information from the court house.

Last edited by arabian; 04-16-2017 at 09:27 PM.
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Old 04-16-2017, 09:50 PM
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Thank you Arabian

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Old 04-17-2017, 09:43 AM
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Janus, while I agree there are some that may use domestic violence as a way to gain custody by lying about what happened, there are many victims that do not step forward and report because of the stigma around domestic violence and because people like you like to down okay what actually happened. Many women and children are stuck in abusive relationship because they do not feel like reporting the violence will do any good and if they do report they are often shrugged off.
I truly hope no one in your family has to be subjecting to domestic violence because if they do how can they ever report the abuse if they know even their own family won't support them? Domestic abuse is real whether you want to believe it or not.

Billie I am sorry you had to go through that and have to continue dealing with his verbal and emotional abuse. I would certainly speak to the police and see what they suggest. It will for sure be a good starting point for you.


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Old 04-18-2017, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Janus, while I agree there are some that may use domestic violence as a way to gain custody by lying about what happened, there are many victims that do not step forward and report because of the stigma around domestic violence and because people like you like to down okay what actually happened.
I agree. I think I am being deliberately misconstrued here. Real victims deserve support. Real victims are hurt when fake victims go to the police with fake claims.

Telling somebody who is getting mean texts to go to the police is ridiculous. Just block the number, problem solved. If the person tries to get around the block then you can hit up the police, but as a first resort? Nonsense.

I tried to use an analogy with fathers who don't want custody. Every time a father tries to get more time with the kids to pay less support, it hurts other fathers who want more time with the kids because they actually want more time with the kids.

Was my point to subtle to understand?

Quote:
Many women and children are stuck in abusive relationship because they do not feel like reporting the violence will do any good and if they do report they are often shrugged off.
Many men are stuck in an abusive relationship, and even when they do report it they are often shrugged off. If the world were full of honest people, it would be a much better place.

Trials would be a lot shorter too.

Quote:
I truly hope no one in your family has to be subjecting to domestic violence because if they do how can they ever report the abuse if they know even their own family won't support them? Domestic abuse is real whether you want to believe it or not.
My male cousin was abused in a relationship (physical and financial abuse). He reported it to the police. Nothing happened. They told him to get a divorce.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 04-18-2017, 03:33 PM
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You were not deliberately misconstrued. What you wrote was unclear and *looked* like it was placing blame on victims.
It is not the readers fault of your words are not clear. Take responsibility for your miscommunication (if it was one) and restate. You may even want to apologize if that is in you.
FYI..saying you have a cousin who was abused (and ompluing that means you couldnt be judgemental) is like claiming you couldn't be discriminatory because you have a black friend. .

Now that I have your attention...I can't block the phone number of my child's father.
1. Emergency situations. How is he to get a hold of me if he is blocked (or vice versa)
2. There are court orders that require us to communicate. We have 50/50 access.
3. Stop making this a black and white issue. It isn't. When children are involved it NEVER is.

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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 04-18-2017, 04:24 PM
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Why don't you just ignore him? I only read text messages from the other parent when I feel like it. If it's an emergency, then she can call me and leave a voicemail. Like seriously. What if I'm having sex when she's trying to get a hold of me? I just let her text away and it always gives me a good laugh after too, I don't think she realizes that she'f often talking to her self.

That being said, when non urgent things require a response, I just shoot an email and check back again after a couple of days, if I feel like it. There are times I have used texting for emergency situations, but then again, it is usually
handled by a phone call.

What sorts of things is he sending to you and your family on social media? Do you have those saved? That could be your potential evidence. f you are a true victim, and he's sending you things like you worthless peice of crap, you fuki*n.. harassing you in the same way online "If you don't return my call then I'm going to come and kill you. " then yeah.. call the police. Just remember that if you can't prove it, then it didn't happen and you're just trying to use it to your advantage before you go to court. Unless they are really that bad, I would just ignore. Heck forward them to your new partner and laugh your asses off together the next time you hang out. If they're rude, just slap them on your exhibits and put it in front of the judge.

Calling the police to allege criminal harassment/threats, etc could potentially backfire on you. It did on my ex when she tried to pull that. No charges were laid and the police just concluded that my communications were all regarding our child as she was denying me access. The clause regarding this incident is my Fav one and I use it in almost all of my motions and conferences. It's helped me out every time. Yes, she ran off to court on a legal aid certificate crying "I'm a victim of domestic violence! he did this, and he did that, he's so abusive to me, I was too afraid to call the police! - meanwhile there are numerous calls to the police all unfounded allegations. It's indeed very unfortunate that people like my ex ruin it for people like you.


As per the medical issues, I'm not an expert in that area, but if I know that he has a right to access information from those professionals and he also has a right to complain. I would 2nd Taykens suggestion here , but first, you might want to try changing the professionals. When you do so, seek input from the other parent. If he does this again with the new professionals you BOTH selected together, then you could try to cut his access out.

Last edited by trinton; 04-18-2017 at 05:06 PM.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 04-18-2017, 05:05 PM
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I do ignore him
Yes he threatens..calling CAS, taking me to court. I still don't answer. CAS is well aware of the situation and it is documented
We have 2 court orders and 2 mediated agreements that continue to get further into detail as to how communications are handled. He does not follow them even when reminded.

I never said he was controlling me. He is attempting to. Yes I am a true ex victim of domestic violence. Would you like to see the proof too?
He has already reported the past 2 medical professionals she has seen for this type. For no valid reason. Switching to a new one is not going to end his vindictive streak, it will put someone else's business at risk. And taking her without his agreement is going to cause me trouble in court regardless of the fact I have medical custody.

I have not gone to the police yet. I am asking for advice before I decide what to do
I have already tried:
👉Court orders
👉Mediation
👉Parental counselling together (last year)
👉Warnings from CAS
👉A lawyer letter
👉ignoring him
👉Responding only to child concerned matters
👉Blocking him from my social media

Please provide actual advice if you have some that has not already been tried. I'm not looking for sympathy, nor am I putting my history out there for everyone to nitpick through. It doesn't matter.
How do I deal with a conflict causing ex who continues search for anything and everything he can use against me and is preventing the kid from seeing a medical professional?


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