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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2017, 12:13 AM
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Our agreement states one email per week. I would rather not respond. And yes, I will be asking for our family wizard. I asked at last mediation and we agreed to try this first with very firm agreements around what situations would be a phone call, a text or an email. It has not been followed in the least.

Yes he does have mental issues. I of course have not been told of his diagnosis, but during the marriage he had depression and anxiety. It has been suggested by medical professionals to me privately that his behaviour indicates something more serious. My concerns are well founded. I am certainly looking for and working towards a cooperative co-parenting relationship, however I think it is safe to say that ship has sailed.

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Old 04-13-2017, 12:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
I have medical custody.
... He refused to let me take her to a referred professional a month ago
You have medical custody. I don't get how he can refuse.

Quote:
based on his previous behaviour I will not risk that professionals reputation by taking her and having him report her.
Ok, he isn't refusing, he is just making it uncomfortable for you. The courts cannot possibly help you here. You have medical custody. He has the right to make complaints to professional bodies. Do you want the court to order that he is not allowed to make a complaint? If he repeatedly lodges complaints he won't be getting very far with those complaints.

Quote:
He is now digging
Have you done anything wrong? If not, don't worry!

Quote:
He is violating our communication agreement texting me and threatening court action several times a day 2 to 3 days a week.
Dear dirtbag,

Texting is for emergency purposes only. All other communication should be by email. If you send me three more messages that are not emergencies, then I shall get a new phone number. Messages from you will be routed to a friend who will only forward those messages that she deems are genuine emergencies.


... then you never respond to a single non-emergency text message ever again for the rest of your life. There is only so long even somebody crazy is willing to text a blank wall.

Quote:
he is all over my social media and my families
Which social media is he all over? The vast majority require your approval for him to see anything.

If I didn't know better, I would say that you like the drama. There seems to be some really easy steps you can take to stop him from harassing you, but it appears that you have not taken those steps.
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Old 04-13-2017, 01:27 AM
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Janus! Thanks for the laugh!
No I definitely do not enjoy it. And I appreciate your advice. 😉
I have been very good at not responding. There are sometimes things that require a response though. And I am human..once in a blue moon he hits me in a sore point. I need to put on some protection equipment. 😉
As for social media. My profile must remain public. I run a referral based business. Yes he is blocked. He is blocked by my family members as well. But he has a minion and I do not know who it is. Heck he found me on a dating site and read my kid my profile! Needless to say I turned it off
He is overstepping a huge line and has been warned already.

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Old 04-16-2017, 03:18 AM
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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Ex has treated and reported 2 medical professional our child has seen to their boards.
Unfortunate. But, a common pattern of behavior from someone who is high conflict.

Your Social Worker - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Your Social Worker - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

If these clinicians are now refusing to see the child in question then you have good grounds to seek the assistance of the court in the matter. It is time that the other parent have all access to medical records and clinicians removed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
He has reported me to my professional board.
Generally, complaints from ex-spouses fall on deaf ears by boards. Especially ones that are rooted in complex high-conflict child custody and access ones.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
For each I have informed him before having her treated, he has signed consent where required and then filed complaints after.
You need sole decision making on medical issues and for the other parent's access to the medical records to be fully blocked.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
He refused to let me take her to a referred professional a month ago, and based on his previous behaviour I will not risk that professionals reputation by taking her and having him report her.
I would still recommend you take the child to the clinical encounter. Unless the consent of the other parent is required. Then, your only recourse is to seek a court order to have sole custody for medical decisions and to also block the other parent's ability to retrieve medical records. (Two separate asks. CLRA allows for parents to get access do documents, you specifically have to ask for that to be removed.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
He is now digging through childcare records in their office claiming I did not get his permission on this form and that one. He is claiming out of date records that he neglected to update himself for 3 years. He sees them 3 days a week and pays them directly. His signature and info is on many forms and updates to his info are his responsibility.
Unless you have an order that doesn't permit him access to the medical records the clinicians are obligated to provide access to the records. You need to get an order to prevent his access. You probably have more than enough evidence and witnesses to present as to WHY this needs to happen.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
He is violating our communication agreement texting me and threatening court action several times a day 2 to 3 days a week.
The other parent is trying to gather evidence. They are not going to stop. Your only recourse is a court action for sole custody for medical and for the access to records to be blocked as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
CAS has been involved over a year on a monthly monitoring. He calls them at least twice a week to report some wrongdoing. The last visit the CAS made not of whether I had fruit on the counter. I didn't do the shopping until the next day and told them so.
You have the CAS evidence too that you can call upon. You need to bring a motion. If CAS hasn't tried to stop his conduct then you need to go to the courts to do it.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
At what point and by what argument can I stop this?
1. His conduct is interupting the child's access to medical care.

That is the only reason you need.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
What constitutes harassment or stalking (because he is all over my social media and my families) and even reporting all this to my child.
Who cares. Unless you have something bad on your social media. If you do. Delete it.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
At what point can I ask for a restraining order?
You shouldn't. You need to take the other parent's control away and make sure the child in question gets proper medical treatment.

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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
What are my options
I am so tired of this it's been 8 years
Retain a qualified lawyer and get an order for sole custody for medical decisions. The reason you are asking is that the other parent's conduct is impacting the child's access to medical care.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 04-16-2017, 03:22 AM
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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
I get that the professional boards will not likely do anything. It is however a problem.
It causes the clinician's practice insurance to go up as a result. Because they have to have their practice insurance put a lawyer on the matter to defend them for the bogus claim.

Its a real problem for the doctors involved when having to deal with this nonsense.
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Old 04-16-2017, 11:58 AM
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@tayken
Yes I already have medical custody. Have had that in consent from first court order (7 years ago). Under our order I am required to provide him reasoning for my decision and only need consent for surgery. The while reason that happened was because he refused to sign consent for her to have a surgery to reduce her sleep apnea and allow her a flu shot to make sure she was not able to contract the flu prior to said surgery. He is allowed to take her to the doctor himself. Is that something that should be revoked?

Most medical professions still insist on consent from both parties. Even if presented with the court order. He has consented to each of those professionals she has seen. So his complaints are null and void. One had volunteered to come to court or put in an affidavit if it goes that far.

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Old 04-16-2017, 12:41 PM
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With to regards to harassment you might want to go to your local police department and have a chat with them:

Ontario Provincial Police

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/c...har/part1.html

"...Physically violent stalkers, according to the results of a 2008 study comparing violent and non-violent stalkers in Canada, are more likely to:

-have a strong previous emotional attachment to the victim
-exhibit an intense obsession with, or fixation on, the victim, resulting in more frequent contact and more persistent harassment
-harbour a higher degree of negative emotion toward the victim, manifested by outbursts of anger, jealousy and hatred
-verbally threaten the victim
-have a history of domestic abuse toward the victim

The underlying motivations appear to be insecurity, anger, vengeance, emotional arousal and projection of blame. It would seem that the extent of emotional attachment between the victim and the perpetrator may be crucial to understanding stalker conduct. The study concluded that the above factors are much more accurate predictors of violence than the presence of mental illness or a personality disorder, a prior criminal record, or a history of substance abuse."

.....

"...The definitions of cyberbullying (online bullying) and online harassment overlap one another and some situations that are labelled cyberbullying may also be criminal harassment under section 264 of the Criminal Code..."

Last edited by arabian; 04-16-2017 at 12:52 PM.
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Old 04-16-2017, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
With to regards to harassment you might want to go to your local police department and have a chat with them:
...and that is why it is so hard to take some women seriously when they claim they are being abused.

He is texting her against her will and following her indirectly on social media. Your advice is that "maybe he might turn violent so lets involve the police"? Seriously?

Every time a woman cries wolf, it makes it that much harder for the real victims to be heard.

I'm especially surprised that this is coming from Arabian, since she is usually on the "don't waste taxpayer's money and the precious time of the police" bandwagon.
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Old 04-16-2017, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
...and that is why it is so hard to take some women seriously when they claim they are being abused.

He is texting her against her will and following her indirectly on social media. Your advice is that "maybe he might turn violent so lets involve the police"? Seriously?

Every time a woman cries wolf, it makes it that much harder for the real victims to be heard.

I'm especially surprised that this is coming from Arabian, since she is usually on the "don't waste taxpayer's money and the precious time of the police" bandwagon.

...and I do not find this remark surprising coming from Janus.

Absolutely she should contact the police if the behavior persists and if she or her sister feel threatened. Harassment, bullying, stalking is an offense. If the police find the matter trivial they will direct her to her family court lawyer.

I will post this again - http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/c...har/part1.html A Handbook for Police and Crown Prosecutors on Criminal Harassment

Prohibited conduct

(2) The conduct mentioned in subsection (1) consists of

-repeatedly following from place to place the other person or anyone known to them;
-repeatedly communicating with, either directly or indirectly, the other person or anyone known to them;
-besetting or watching the dwelling-house, or place where the other person, or anyone known to them, resides, works, carries on business or happens to be; or
-engaging in threatening conduct directed at the other person or any member of their family.

Last edited by arabian; 04-16-2017 at 02:16 PM.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 04-16-2017, 04:24 PM
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There was a restraining order initially when we separated. Yes he physically assaulted me. I did not go to the police. I was scared and did not know what to do and all I wanted was to pick up my daughter (who was with famuly). I went to my doctor, women's shelter and the court has the photos of the injuries in the file.

While I do not expect he will physically assault me again (I only meet him in public places), he is following me online despite being warned by CAS to stop. He is texting me and emailing me despite the agreement we both signed. He is asking my kid questions about my life, she is providing him information because she is scared what he will do if she does not.
*if* I went to the police it would not being crying wolf. To insinuate that verbal, emotional and mental abuse and manipulation is anything less damaging than physical abuse is archaic.
And if you had ever been through that type of abuse, or were a professional who helps victims heal through those situations like I do, you would know that mental and emotional abuse is much more traumatic and the effects go much deeper.

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