how did you pay for your lawyer?

[Max22258]

I used it all as I am having a very nasty one. And the problem is the pension and the house, even as we are common law, she has used every tricks in the books, even got me arrested on false accusation or charge. So it is gonna be a rought ride

[mgchoosey]

Originally Posted by dadtotheend

Handsomely!

thanks for the laugh...well needed!

[HCA]

second and third jobs, borrowing from family, cash in all savings...etc. etc. The only way you can fight a lawyer in court is with another lawyer...

[mgchoosey]

Originally Posted by dinkyface

A lien is just an IOU note secured against your home equity. Probably a lawyer would require actual $$, not an IOU.

Sell assets, remortgage, borrow...

When i went to legal aid the lawyer said that was a way to do it.But maybe she only meant with-in the legal aid/government system.

thanks

[mgchoosey]

Originally Posted by today

Credit card cheques, line of credit, loans from anyone who dared, still paying...... once the sale of home any equity to help pay off whatever possible towards the accumulated debt, with a home re mortgaged to the max.

All that just to gain an equal shared parenting role/involvement with my children. Would have been so much less expensive to just give in and pay support, but not good for the children.

I don't regret it one bit, it is worth it to have happy well adjusted children, worth every penny but a shame the law permits this.

Thats tough man.I've been tempted to walk away.But Im pretty sure she would make access to my son difficult.

thanks for sharing
M

[About_Time]

I've been living in my parents basement for 3 years, but the lawyer will be paid in full as of Oct 1st.

In the end it wasn't until we both had to abandon our lawyers due to finances that she was finally willing to actually sit down and hammer out a deal.

[got2bkid]

If people could just behave like adults, quit thinking about themselves and think about their children and how to structure their new lives as divorced adults so that the MOST valuable assets in their lives, their CHILDREN, can have as normal a relationship with BOTH parents after divorce as possible and spend less focus on money and how much your going to get paid and how to split the house etc. all this mess could be avoided and family lawyers would be outta business.

But pettiness and greed are part of human nature, unfortunately.

And children aren't treated in the guidelines as the MOST VALUABLE ASSET a couple has, only as a liability and a financial burden on the CP. It's too bad really, if children were treated like the real ASSETS they are, to BOTH their parents (otherwise why do we have kids if not to enhance our lives and bring us meaning?!) then the kids would also be split 50/50 between parents (barring exceptional circumstances like violence) just like all the other assets the couple has together! People have to get their heads around this, having custody of the kids is like winning the best asset of the marriage and getting paid to have it! Family law and custody are all backwards in my opinion.

[#1StepMom]

Originally Posted by got2bkid

Family law and custody are all backwards in my opinion.

I concur!

Having hired (and fired) several lawyers... and having gone the "self-rep" route... my husband and I have learned that it makes no difference. It is all based on the judge's whim, and how they interpret the guidelines, how they interpret your case, and what - to them - matters most. We've had many judges overlook certain issues because, to them, they didn't matter. But they did matter to us, and so we are still dragging these issues to court in hopes that one day, a judge will actually READ the briefs.

Sometimes I think that maybe if we had a lot of money, we could hire a "shark lawyer" and pay him or her millions of dollars to settle ALL the issues needing to be settled, once and for all. But that's just wishful thinking. Money is low, debts are increasing, the issues are ongoing.

That's life when you deal with family law.

[mgchoosey]

Originally Posted by got2bkid

If people could just behave like adults, quit thinking about themselves and think about their children and how to structure their new lives as divorced adults so that the MOST valuable assets in their lives, their CHILDREN, can have as normal a relationship with BOTH parents after divorce as possible and spend less focus on money and how much your going to get paid and how to split the house etc. all this mess could be avoided and family lawyers would be outta business.

But pettiness and greed are part of human nature, unfortunately.

And children aren't treated in the guidelines as the MOST VALUABLE ASSET a couple has, only as a liability and a financial burden on the CP. It's too bad really, if children were treated like the real ASSETS they are, to BOTH their parents (otherwise why do we have kids if not to enhance our lives and bring us meaning?!) then the kids would also be split 50/50 between parents (barring exceptional circumstances like violence) just like all the other assets the couple has together! People have to get their heads around this, having custody of the kids is like winning the best asset of the marriage and getting paid to have it! Family law and custody are all backwards in my opinion.

i guess thats what lawyers/judges are for: to try and get the greediest most self-righteous of the party to 'bend' to fairness.

The basic law as I understand it is: 50/50 if both parents are healthy mentally.

I have tried every approach with my wife-offered to move to be near
them(if need be)-lend money for a new house for her..mediation...I've tried calm-assertive..lost temper...nothing is working so far...she just screams me down.

Quite honestly, I'm worried about my safety as in the past she has been near physical violence towards me..definitely emotional abuse.

[mgchoosey]

1StepMom-what are your issues?

Originally Posted by #1StepMom

I concur!

Having hired (and fired) several lawyers... and having gone the "self-rep" route... my husband and I have learned that it makes no difference. It is all based on the judge's whim, and how they interpret the guidelines, how they interpret your case, and what - to them - matters most. We've had many judges overlook certain issues because, to them, they didn't matter. But they did matter to us, and so we are still dragging these issues to court in hopes that one day, a judge will actually READ the briefs.

Sometimes I think that maybe if we had a lot of money, we could hire a "shark lawyer" and pay him or her millions of dollars to settle ALL the issues needing to be settled, once and for all. But that's just wishful thinking. Money is low, debts are increasing, the issues are ongoing.

That's life when you deal with family law.