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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 07:42 PM
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But getting back to the topic.

according to the poster

1. Dad has not used much of his access time up till now. Her assumptions are because he wanted to get his life in order.
2. Now Dad feels his life is ready for the children he wants to step up to the plate and have 50/50 access.
3. Dad has been paying full table amount CS. mom will have to sell her house if she looses the CS
4. According to Mom Dad wants to avoid paying CS so he can buy a house.
5. Children miss Dad and cry for him and need counselling.

Poor Kids. Just porns in these adults financial lives.

They should come live with me. I am awesome.!
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 07:45 PM
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Quote:
Poor Kids. Just porns in these adults financial lives.
Hope you meant "pawns"

Quote:
3. Dad has been paying full table amount CS. mom will have to sell her house if she looses the CS
If owning your home is based on the CS you're receiving, its really not a good financial plan anyway. There's a lot of things that can happen with regard to CS...either just not receiving it regularly or adjustments to it.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 07:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
NOT TRUE. I happen to know one very narcissitic person who puts himself first!
I never said that all women are narcissists. All I am saying that the majority of mothers who deny access or increase of access with no reasons (oh, I need his money as much as possible for as long as possible is not the reason to me), ARE. Why? Because of this:

An obvious self-focus
Difficulty with empathy
Pretending to be more important than they really are
Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
Entitlement
Magical thinking
Arrogance
Exploitation

There is much more to it but I think even this is enough for our conversation.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 08:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
According tomthe poster he wants to avoid paying CS so he can buy a new house. She has said she would take less money but keep,the current access status.

It will be interesting to see what he would say in court. I would think if he went into court with the plan, of increasing his time to reduce his payments to enable the purchase of a house with his now stable partner, it might not go that well.

Also I question his plan of coming off night work and picking up the children to drop them off at school just to " count the day". What happens on PD days, sick children situation, holidays. He will still be on night shift.

Both sides need to sit down and be honest.
How does the poster know what he want's? Did the father told her or it's her way of thinking?
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 08:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
this is a telling little snip of the post blink posted a link to

Now he tells me he wants to be a father and start taking the children more often. I think this is fantastic. It's all I have wanted for the past few years. I'm tired of my children crying every day for their father and I'm worried about their mental health.

so because he didn't take them more she worried about their mental health. Now he wants to step up and she doesn't want to give him 50/50. Kinda contradicts what she says in this thread.
LOOOOL!

As they say: the beauty of the truth is that you don't have to remember what you already said.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 08:05 PM
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Well here goes then...the reasons I am opposed to the 50/50 request.

1. We have a separation agreement and there has been no material change in circstance to warrant a change.

2. Ex has not excercised his access to children for 3 years. I worry that he is now asking for 50/50 after being nearly absent. He Does not show stability.

3. Status quo going well. Kids thriving. I have a closer bomd with the kids and have supports . He has no one. I worry they will regress if we make a change like this.

4. Ex's work schedule would not allow 50/50. He is proposing schedules that are nearly impossible. One example is the daycare opens at 7 am and he is proposing to drop the kids off at 7 am. He has to be at work by 7. He is also proposing to pick up kids from me at 7 am to take them to school ao he can count the day. I wont allow him at my home due to issues of domeatic violence (reported but no charges laid). Also it is disruptive to meet him at 7 am to exchange kids. I'm usually in the middlw of a shower etc at that hour. I just can't see it working. As well he is an emergemcy awrvices worker. Often he can't leave work the moment his shift ends. I cannot count on meeting him before school at 7:15 am. Not realistic.
5. He refuses to take the kids to sports because he does not want to see me there. This is not good for the kids.

6. The kids are in french school. He doesn't speak french. Their studies will suffer if they aren't with me for most weekdays. My 6 year old has homework 4 nights per week.

7. We do not get along. It would be difficult to share time with the kids. Although i don't have 'huge' concerns about his parenting he does struggle with issues including when to call the doctor etc. he simply would not alert me if there is an issue that needs to be dealt with.
8. Most of the time he does not answer the phone when i call the kids nor does he have them return my calls. I can only 'at rare times' communicate with the kids when they are at Dad's.
9. Ex husband won't allow the kids to go to birthday parties. He feels this is 'his time' with the kids. This is not good for the
Children.
10. Ex not supportive of kids relationship with grandparents. He wants to have 'first dibs' on the kids on any night the grandparents want them to come sleep over. IF he consents then he says they can go see grandparents. This is
In spite of our agreement in writing for grandparwnts to have access to kids.

11. Ex has never lived with our youngest and hasn't libe with oldest for 3.5 years.

That's it off the top of my head.


I didn't get the sense the judge didn't approve of my rationale. He didn't ask for anyone's reasons. He just ask what our schedule
Looked like and what we want it
To look like.

Interesting that i would look bad for agreeing to take less money. Sounds like that shouldn't be in my offer at all.

Also it sounds like I should draft an offer to settle at this stage. If I can't offer to not take child support then i should offer to give hime more time? I need to think of what to offer here?
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 08:10 PM
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Read your long post. All I hear is ME, ME, ME and ME again.

Sorry, you don't have a single valid reason not to let your ex to be with the kids 50/50 except money.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 08:15 PM
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You need to offer him at bare minimum, the 40-60 in your agreement, but ideally 50-50. How he manages his time/job when with the kids is none of your business. It is up to him to make it work.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 11-20-2014, 08:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
You need to offer him at bare minimum, the 40-60 in your agreement, but ideally 50-50. How he manages his time/job when with the kids is none of your business. It is up to him to make it work.
Short and sweet. Thank you, blink!!!
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Old 11-20-2014, 08:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Hope you meant "pawns"



If owning your home is based on the CS you're receiving, its really not a good financial plan anyway. There's a lot of things that can happen with regard to CS...either just not receiving it regularly or adjustments to it.
Opps lol. I did mean pawns.
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