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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2017, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
Things are at least finally progressing....
Of course this is taking a long time.

She gets all the benefits of ripping off a guy who she has zero obligations to.

Hell, I'd never finalize the divorce if I were her. I'd milk the cow for as long as I could and set a precedence of him paying for everything.

lol, she's stealing $1500 off a joint credit card and letting him pay the entire balance, fees and interest and you're expecting her to get divorced anytime soon? Really?!?

Right after you're done cutting this loser off...sue your incompetent lawyer. What a schmuck.
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:01 PM
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Thanks PH. I appreciate the feedback. Just to be clear, the joint account has now been cut off. As of January. The benefits she's been receiving i.e. Gas are paid through the company have been limited.
While he's pissed off about what he's been giving her this is actually the second lawyer to advise against cutting her off. It's the reason he fired his first one...
I kind of feel a bit stupid here...is it possible that he's found 2 lawyers who are giving him poor advice???? We don't want to make the wrong move here but I'm hearing what you're saying and while I agree with you I am wary of going against the lawyers advice. He came highly recommended and as I said, the second lawyer to advise against cutting her off...
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2017, 09:15 PM
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I've never heard of any lawyer who didn't immediately tell clients to cut off joint accounts. Its basically divorce 101.

As far as continuing to support her...let me ask you this...to what end?

The chances are, she's going to get SS...so is she going to get more SS if you cut her off now?...nope

In my opinion, you're giving her the perfect incentive to drag this out. The only way she moves this along is if she needs the money so pushes for an interim order.

And that order will clearly define how the assets get divided and will set a limit on how much he has to pay.

The ONLY time I've heard a lawyer tell a man to pay for an asset is in the example that I gave...ie, don't take back the car because then she can't get to work and that will affect the SS payment.

Or maybe if she was raising the children and needed a roof over their head...but that isn't happening either. So why did the lawyer tell you to continue to support her in her adult nipple-latching lifestyle?

I'm sorry but lawyers telling you just to indefinitely support a non-working adult stbx spouse without an order in place are incompetent. That sounds nuts to me.

Let's consider the very worst case that could happen....she could make an argument for retro-active SS. Hell, take the chance, why pay it willingly? Retro-active SS is very rare (especially for an able-bodied person) and I'd force her to work for any money I had to pay her rather than handing it over.

Put the money he's wasting on this useless, lazy cow monthly into an account. Don't just hand it over anymore...and if she's successful in getting a retro order, you have the money. If not, go on a nice vacation....

And by the way, letting her live in the cottage was a badddddd idea. Now she's established residence there...he should have kept that income property separate and let it get split with all the other assets.

Oh and by the way, when she gets real SS, he won't be paying her monthly bills anymore...it will just be the SS. So the harder you make things for her, the more likely she'll get her butt to court and start making compromises.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 02-07-2017 at 09:20 PM.
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:26 PM
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Thanks PH. I will advise him to speak to another attorney. His answer is due on Thursday of next week and is complete. He just needs to sign it which he's scheduled to do on Friday.
I truly hope he hasn't screwed himself over. The lawyer didn't advise to keep paying indefinitely just to maintain for now until the answer was completed and a response from her attorney was received.
The reality is that despite all he's been paying, the ex wife isn't satisfied and wants more, feels she's entitled to it and filed her application to get it.
He knows there will be a SS obligation, his objective it to limit duration and keep it reasonable and based on his actual income. Not some random figure she's pulled out of the hat.
By the way, she stated in her application that her primary residence is her parents home. Not the cottage.



Thanks,
Faye
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Faye View Post
Actually yes. I was at the meeting when the lawyer said so. As neither of us are attorneys it sounded reasonable based on the explanation that was given. He doesn't like it but was willing to concede to his lawyer.
I stayed out of it for a long time but the man works insane hours and just wasn't handling it so I offered to help. Things are at least finally progressing....

Faye
...works insane hours yet in years-gone-by he did all of the housework
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faye View Post
Thanks PH. I will advise him to speak to another attorney. His answer is due on Thursday of next week and is complete. He just needs to sign it which he's scheduled to do on Friday.
I truly hope he hasn't screwed himself over. The lawyer didn't advise to keep paying indefinitely just to maintain for now until the answer was completed and a response from her attorney was received.
The reality is that despite all he's been paying, the ex wife isn't satisfied and wants more, feels she's entitled to it and filed her application to get it.
He knows there will be a SS obligation, his objective it to limit duration and keep it reasonable and based on his actual income. Not some random figure she's pulled out of the hat.
By the way, she stated in her application that her primary residence is her parents home. Not the cottage.



Thanks,
Faye

more information/revised
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2017, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faye View Post
Thanks PH. I appreciate the feedback. Just to be clear, the joint account has now been cut off. As of January. The benefits she's been receiving i.e. Gas are paid through the company have been limited.
While he's pissed off about what he's been giving her this is actually the second lawyer to advise against cutting her off. It's the reason he fired his first one...
I kind of feel a bit stupid here...is it possible that he's found 2 lawyers who are giving him poor advice???? We don't want to make the wrong move here but I'm hearing what you're saying and while I agree with you I am wary of going against the lawyers advice. He came highly recommended and as I said, the second lawyer to advise against cutting her off...
That is not what you said/implied in your first post.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2017, 09:53 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
...works insane hours yet in years-gone-by he did all of the housework
He does a lot of housework here too and will often put in 14 hour days... He's not a sit on the couch with a beer watching the game kind of guy.
I get the skepticism but I believe it wholeheartedly having seen it with my own two eyes. He makes me feel lazy. A lot. Lol.

Faye
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2017, 09:58 PM
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Without an interim order no money should have been paid out. Agree with PH. There are basic strategies that your man's lawyer(s) did not seem to employ although you may provide information on your next post. Exchanging budgets early on is another elementary step (you may also reveal this in your next post).

So let me try to elicit additional information from you - does ex have a health problem?
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2017, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Faye View Post
He does a lot of housework here too and will often put in 14 hour days... He's not a sit on the couch with a beer watching the game kind of guy.
I get the skepticism but I believe it wholeheartedly having seen it with my own two eyes. He makes me feel lazy. A lot. Lol.

Faye

Type A, neatfreak who comes home from work (kids in bed) and decides to tidy up does not dispel the fact that he was in a traditional marriage. In fact you can be in a traditional marriage and neither of you do housework. Hiring housekeepers/maid service while golfing or playing tennis. Husband still made/directed/controlled income into the home.
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