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-   -   Help! My ex is a liar (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/help-my-ex-liar-21176/)

Aghast 07-08-2017 12:28 PM

Help! My ex is a liar
 
PLEASE! I need some advice.

My STBX is a huge liar. She lies in her Affidavits and the lies are getting bolder. I have a page of examples of exaggerations, twisted truths, distorted views and outright lies. Some are minor and can be shrugged off, some are what I think are big. Some can be exposed within the continuing record, some I have no documentation to disprove.

When I point the inconsistencies in my responding Affidavits, she makes an excuse for it or denies it. Now she has resorted to making up lies about me, I have no way to disprove it other than to deny it because there is no documentation that exists. (unless she has created it). In her Affidavits she quotes what the children have told her, which are lies or twisted truths.

Has anyone had to deal with this? How do you deal with it?

I am writing a factum, should I make a section on credibility and point all the issues out?

Thank you

Berner_Faith 07-08-2017 03:39 PM

Ex's lie all the time. And it won't stop. It's up to your ex to prove the allegations. If you have proof they are lies great, if not you simply state you don't agree with x,y and z and move on


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motherbear4 07-08-2017 08:07 PM

My ex has been on an email writing campaign since last fall that I neglect and abuse our kids. Extremely upsetting and hurtful. You just have to keep telling yourself that what is being portrayed by your ex is most likely to make you upset, hoping you will back off on whatever is before the courts right now. Ex and I are not currently in court; he's doing this thinking he is providing hard evidence that I am the worst mother to ever have walked the earth for when/if we do end up in court. It just plain horrible to read! Thankfully, having found this forum, I have learned that accusations such as these hardly ever hold merit in court. And when it comes to emails at least, it's perfectly fine to ignore them. Hang in there!

Aghast 07-08-2017 08:18 PM

It is so frustrating and time consuming. I have to go through all my boxes of documents and binders of emails to disprove the accusations. Maybe I don't have to as Berner said just deny it, but I am hoping that the Judge sees the credibility issue.

trinton 07-08-2017 08:34 PM

ex's lie in family courts as the judge doesn't require the other parent to prove their story beyond a reasonable doubt - the judge simply has to decide whose story is more believable, of course. You're lawyer (or yourself) can out the other parent on the stand and get them to confess the truth. This is known as cross examinations. Lawyers are good at this especially how often they are lied to by parents and witnesses, 3rd parties, and other lawyers.

That being said, judges generally require evidence for things. if they say you threatend them with a knife or something crazy like that, it would have to be proven. To prove that they would have had to report it to the police and you would have had to be charged with uttering threats. Many cases of parents being asked to provide evidence of simple things such as flexible work schedule.

Aghast 07-08-2017 10:49 PM

I can't believe how casual your responses are. "ex's lie"
Is this an acceptable behaviour in Family Court?
I am an ex, I don't lie.
Am I disadvantaging myself?

piggybanktoex 07-09-2017 12:14 AM

My ex lies (lied) (or states the truth as she sees it), but mostly lies....still does, especially if it means more money.

Always claims it's her money. If it was her money, why is it in my accounts?

Ignore her or simply write an email (check with your lawyer first) stating the truth and/or the facts, period.

arabian 07-09-2017 12:31 PM

Yes ex's lie all the time in Family Court on their affidavits. That is why affidavits are not solely relied upon in Family Court - judges see the lies day after day.

Also keep in mind that the more that two people are pissed off at each other the less likelihood of settlement and the more money the lawyers make. Keep this in mind when carefully wording your response. A good rule of thumb in preparing an affidavit is to only state something that can be corroborated. Effective, competent lawyers (who are not desperate for clients) will emphasize this.

DO NOT EMAIL your ex. It serves little purpose other than to let your ex know that they got under your skin, thus encouraging the fight to go on. Instead, respond with best interest of children foremost in your comments. Take the high road.

Ange71727 07-09-2017 03:46 PM

I have an ex who constantly lies through emails as well. I used to find it unbearably upsetting, especially since I knew that he was attempting to set up these "facts" to use in court (we are on the trial list for next year). I got sucked into responding a lot of the time which resulted in many email battles and left me constantly stressed to the point that I'd get a stomache ache when my phone made the ding sound for an email coming in. Then I decided one day to just keep a file of these emails but not respond to him any further. Now when I receive one, I make notes all over it for myself as my evidence for why the claims aren't true. I then stick everything in a desktop folder. He has to prove his claims. I will deny and hope that I am believed. It has also resulted in less emails from him since he isn't getting me hooked in anymore which doesn't produce the result he wants (a poor reaction or making me say something I might regret). My advice is to ignore and document.


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rockscan 07-09-2017 05:03 PM

My partner was served with an affidavit full of lies. He gets to hear his kids spout these lies. He spent 20 years with this person believing their lies. Lies are what keep family lawyers in business. As much as it sucks, take a deep breath, remember why you aren't with this person, and stick to prove able facts. Judges are pretty astute in these cases.


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