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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-20-2014, 09:30 PM
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Serene is on a distinguished road

It may not be 50/50 access which is why I state this. Yes he has the child two days a week and every other weekend however, depending on the wording he may not have 50/50 (perhaps the wording is access is from after school through start of school next morning for instance, which means the school days are counted as mom's). There is case law out there that is clear in this regard.

If they do have 50/50 access then you are correct mom cannot dictate where they go on dad's time (in theory as the ex in our particular situation dictates most everything regardless of who's time it is) BUT she could say that the daycare requires a full time spot blah blah and therefore he has to pay.

I think the key to this particular situation is this:

Its a home day care so offers nothing more/better than a child care centre would (and even that would be a stretch) but dad should keep this particular in his back pocket as if he reveals this mom could find a centre instead.

I don't think that the dad if he took this to arbitration or the courts would have to pay for the daycare of his kid even during mom's time. Not when there is a free alternative and furthermore the child could go to dad's. I suspect this is more about control than anything else. And I for one, know all about control games. They are tiring to say the least. I feel for dad.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-20-2014, 09:51 PM
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dinkyface will become famous soon enough

Originally Posted by Serene View Post
I don't think that the dad if he took this to arbitration or the courts would have to pay for the daycare of his kid even during mom's time. Not when there is a free alternative and furthermore the child could go to dad's.
I'm my personal experience and reading, the courts protect the autonomy of each household (i.e. EX has the right to choose daycare on her days - and OP is to pay a share).

Last edited by dinkyface; 02-20-2014 at 10:04 PM.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 02-20-2014, 10:16 PM
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Gilligan is on a distinguished road

To clarify, dinkyface, you are correct. It seems the CAS allegations is that Mom is uncomfortable with the child walking home. She's labeled the child as "special needs" to get CAS to do an investigation (the child has very mild ADHD and is medicated). It doesn't look like it will go very far, as both the child's daycare provider and a child psychologist strongly believe that the child is capable, willing, and ready to do this. CAS has my consent to consult with all of these people. I believe that it is control issues, as Mom can do what she wants on her days. However, she wants me to pay for my portion of full time daycare costs, despite not needing them when I can provide care for our son on all days at no cost.

Being a larger income earner, she has no vested interest in being cooperative as I pay a much larger portion of the costs so if it suits her, she wants him in daycare since it costs her very little. Her motivations may be influenced by CS, but it isn't a concern in my mind as I do not believe this little bit of extra time would count in any way for CS.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 02-20-2014, 10:22 PM
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Gilligan is on a distinguished road

That is interesting... I can see both sides to this story.

It seems reasonable that the child would be better in the care of a parent than a stranger. It was my understanding that the courts would support that.

I don't have a problem with each parent having autonomy, but it isn't really autonomy when one parent tries to dictate what happens in my home (calling CAS), and if I get her the autonomy of picking her own care, then I am stuck paying for the majority of the costs.

This is not a requirement for my EX to work, she can work and have free care, this is about being difficult and making a choice to place her child with a stranger.

My ex is all about revenge, and the more it can cost me then all the better. It's too bad she can't focus on the child.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 02-20-2014, 10:41 PM
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Beachnana is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by Gilligan View Post
Thanks for the advice, in my first communications with FRO, they advise me that child care is always a section 7 expense, so if an expense is submitted then it is divided. Even though it may not be required, as the support payer I don't have a say. Seems messed up with me. I should have clarified, my ex has very clear conditions on child care and a dispute resolution clause, but she is refusing to follow the order.

I agree about not getting into my ex's business. Seems it's a double standard, I just learned that I have CAS called on my by my EX because she isn't happy with letting the child walk home on my time.
I really doubt FRO will execute payments for section 7 expenses that your ex submits unless the amount is specified in your agreement. We had a situation where the Dad was not paying his portion of the daycare invoice. We thought we could send the arrears to FRO and they could add it to his CS payments. We had a lawyer call FRO and they were told that FRO would not collect on undefined amounts. They donot do calculations if you send proof of salary and agreed upon proportions. Your agreement would have to say a specific $x amount of daycare expenses is payable to be paid each month on a specific date. They will not collect arrears unless the amount is in your agreement.

So make your arrangments for your son, let her make her own and only send the amount which represents your portion of daycare for her parenting days. Maybe send a polite note with the first payment explaining you are under no obligation to pay for arrangements she has made during your parenting time for services you are not using.


Last edited by Beachnana; 02-20-2014 at 10:45 PM. Reason: Sentence missing
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 04-07-2014, 10:10 AM
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Gilligan is on a distinguished road

Well, I got my letter from FRO. Apparently daycare costs can always be claimed as a Section 7 expense without any justification or much in the way of proof. The support recipient just needs to fax in a form.

In my case, it was for daycare (during which time I already had a daycare) and it is for the full costs of daycare (not after the tax benefit). Services where not even rendered, and the receipt didn't even have a childs name on it. Yet, I am now in arrears. Can't say that I am very happy to not have any input on a daycare and that a parent can make unilateral decisions and I am stuck paying the lion's share of expenses.
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