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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2017, 12:56 PM
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Hi Everyone

With advice from everyone on this board My last email to her lawyer was I was open to amendments to our original agreement but regarding spousal support your client did not seek spousal nor did she want spousal and our original agreement was a final settlement to all rights ,causes ,claims, and demands with result to property and support. I also added that is wasn't unconscionable and was amicable.

He replied indicating that spousal is a more complex than I make it out to be and suggested I do more research or consult with a lawyer. Also that I will discover that the existence of an agreement is only a factor in determining whether spousal support should be awarded. his submission in trail as he indicated would be to have the agreement set aside due to it being unconscionable.

I have not heard back since my last email, dated January 10th 2017

Its unfortunate but my youngest daughter approached me on Sunday after the weekend at her mothers. she said Dad is mom taking you to court ? I said why sweetie ? She said I over heard mom talking with her sister and her friends about taking you to court and I'm going to loose. Man it was everything not to fill here in. I said not that I know of. She looked at me with a real confusing look. She also said why would mom want to do that you guys have been separated for awhile now and are we going to loose the house ?. I quickly changed the subject.

Its so terrible that they would discuss things like this when my kids are just in the other room, but honestly I'm not surprised. so with all this being said I just want to know if anyone has advice on how to proceed and also some questions below I have

1) As I am currently self representing do I get served by someone?

2) What happens once I get served , I've read I have 30 days to respond and have proper information in place.

3) I have been reading allot on line and Canli cases regarding agreements and spousal , I have printed a bunch off that are similar to my situation

4) Any ideas what else I can be doing in regards to preparing for what is to come? I just want to be really prepared and educate myself as much as possible. not sure what they will be bringing first in regards to the application , setting aside the agreement or spousal or both on the application.

5) what happens in a case conference and how does it work.

Thanks everyone
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2017, 02:09 PM
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past

send him a letter with the same thing again and say that you have consulted with counsel (do it just for the sake) and let him know that there are no merits to his clients case, tell him you will go to court if need be and use the correspondences in support of your costs.

He's really trying hard to get you to consent to something he can't guarantee to his client. You might want to get a lawyer to confirm your win and collect your legal costs. I say that because you are not sure what to do at a case conference.

He has to serve you with the application personally, and anything further by email if you consent, but I suggest that you keep all communications by letters and only be served personally. You can serve the lawyer by fax. Attach fax confirmation to your affidavit of service. Don't try to hide from the process server.

He will, if he decided to proceed, serve you with an application and you will have to file an answer. In your answer you will seek an order to dismiss the applicants motion and ask for your costs.

At the case conference (followed by the first appearance), if it is in the superior court, you will both file a case conference breif, they will file theirs 7 days before it is due and you will 4 days after it is due, you will have 3 days to review their material and respond - you will serve the lawyer by fax and attach fax confirmation to your affidavit of service.

At case conference, they will speak first as the moving party, make their case, the judge may have questions or comments, and you will make your case. The judge may have further questions or comments and may make recommendations. This is the case management judge and will not be the final hearing judge. Everything discussed with this judge is confidential. This judge will only state his/her opinion on how he/she would decide the case. Keep in mind that 2 judges may completely disagree with your and a 3rd judge will completely disagree with them.

Be polite, be friendly, be firm and keep your posture. Speak facts and not opinions. You can discuss case law but generally it is presumed that the judge is aware of them. You can tell if they are on the same page as you or not and may need to remind them of the laws or case law as necessary. Stay focused.

Sorry to hear about your child, happens all the time. Best is to change subject and not talk about court stuff. Your ex will continue to discuss with friends in front of the child. Sounds like you're handling that well though.

Good luck

Last edited by trinton; 01-24-2017 at 02:12 PM.
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Old 01-24-2017, 02:34 PM
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zanman is on a distinguished road

Thanks Triton

I have spoke to a few Lawyers and they have said to just pay her on the grounds she had no legal advice which I don't believe is grounds for all of this to happen . I've have other posts regarding that and I was close to doing so but after some research and other peoples help on this board. People have recommended to not just pay her and make them prove that she now needs spousal and also that our agreement is to be tossed out.

I also agree on the grounds it was the case three years ago , I'm not sure where it is fair that now she can do this. If spousal was an issue then I would have never kept the house and re mortgaged 2 times to pay her her half I would just cut all my losses then.
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Old 01-24-2017, 06:29 PM
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Rioe will become famous soon enough

Of course the lawyer is going to bluster and threaten to take you to court, no matter how uncertain he feels your ex's case is. He WANTS you to be frightened and settle.

I think the three years is your best argument. Despite her perhaps poor legal advice at the time of the agreement, she was willing to proceed without spousal support and has been successfully financially independent from you for several years since.

Still, do your research on how likely she would have been to be entitled to any SS back then, and how much she may have received if so. Being armed with that knowledge will help you decide if it's worth a possible court fight.
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Old 01-25-2017, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
send him a letter with the same thing again and say that you have consulted with counsel (do it just for the sake) and let him know that there are no merits to his clients case, tell him you will go to court if need be and use the correspondences in support of your costs.

What would possibly be gained by such a message?

Why do people insist on having arguments with the opposing lawyer? Why do people think that the lawyer cares about your arguments in any way? The only thing your message to the lawyer might do is hurt your case, it cannot possibly help. Your own words can only be used against you, not to help you.

You might want to get a lawyer to confirm your win and collect your legal costs.
I actually sorta agree. If you self-rep you don't get to collect costs when you win, barring certain well known exceptions. You won't get all your money back but making her pay costs will go a long way towards making sure she doesn't try this crap again. There is a certain value in peace of mind.

Make sure you give an awesome offer to settle though, something beyond anything that a judge might order. Just be rude to her in person to make sure she doesn't actually accept the offer.

"You stupid bitch, just take my offer and shut up. You are such a moron that you'll never get that much otherwise. I'll be creaming you in court"
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