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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2016, 10:17 PM
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I have a trial management conference in 2 days and I thought that me and the ex we're going to settle before then but it didn't fall through. He is requesting to hold funds until I leave the property and inspects for damages. He is going to try and stick me with damages but there are none. I just fired my lawyer because I cannot afford the back and forth anymore. I am now self represented have no job and a 6 month old baby from the relationship. The lawyers were trying to draft a consent order which he initially agreed through correspondence to pay a 1 time lump sum, but is now trying to switch it to two payments. If we don't have the consent order done before Thursday what do I do? I need to apply for legal aid and also asked him to do mediation today with no response. Please help! He left me when I was 6 months pregnant came back and then left again when the baby was 6 weeks old. He said if I don't sign the prenup he's leaving. And so he did. And here I am.
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:03 PM
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Your TMC is in 2 days so not a great time to have fired your lawyer, expecially being so unprepared.

So invite him to come for a walk through of the property, you will have taken pictures already to show the condition so he cannot claim any damages. Have a witness with you and record the walk through.

It is unlikely a judge will agree that you should have to go somewhere else and await payment until after the fact when your relocation is dependent on the financial obligation from him.

What is his reasoning for wanting two payments instead of 1?
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:23 PM
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Unfortunately I could not afford to bring the lawyer with me to the TMC.

He comes to the house three times a week because we have a nesting arrangement right now. And claims the dogs peeing in the backyard have ruined the grass and there's finger prints on the walls and the floors are damaged. Just unreasonable.

He wants to give me a payments upfront and then I have 30 days to leave and on the day I leave he will pay the rest upon inspection of damages. He's going to try and hold money back I know it. I'm already accepting a low offer because I cannot afford to fight anymore. So I don't want to be mickle and dimed for damages as well.
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:26 PM
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Also do you know what the rules are on officially accepting an offer to settle? Can I back out of this offer because we can't agree upon how the funds are disbursed? Or once it's in writing that you accept is it official? Do I not need to sign for an offer to be officially accepted?
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:48 PM
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Grass grows. Did you have the dogs when you both lived there?

Fingerprints are washable -and part of having kids. If you have a nesting agreement them he is technically also living there and taking care of the place. Perhaps he could be inspired to...clean.

Is this a matrimonial home or a rental?

If you agreed to something and he is changing the terms after you do t have to agree to the changes.
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:50 PM
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Also, if he is there regularly, he knows what condition the property is in so can't see why he would require an inspection.
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Old 11-09-2016, 11:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
He said if I don't sign the prenup he's leaving. And so he did. And here I am.
Normally I would say he did the right thing, but he has a kid now so he is screwed regardless. At least he doesn't have to pay SS.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
He is requesting to hold funds until I leave the property and inspects for damages.
Who inspects for damages, your ex? Maybe an official inspection, but why would you be the one who is responsible for the damages?

Quote:
He is going to try and stick me with damages but there are none.
All houses have damage, and if he is the one doing the inspecting he'll find a whole bunch. No judge would allow this.

Quote:
The lawyers were trying to draft a consent order which he initially agreed through correspondence to pay a 1 time lump sum, but is now trying to switch it to two payments.
Maybe he can't get all the money at once? Doesn't seem to be too unreasonable.

Quote:
have no job and a 6 month old baby from the relationship.
You are female, unemployed, and the mother of an infant. You are the best possible parent in the eyes of family law, since you can devote yourself full time to the upbringing of your precious child. I wouldn't worry too much, it is extremely unusual for women in your situation to lose.
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
I have a trial management conference in 2 days and I thought that me and the ex we're going to settle before then but it didn't fall through.
Discuss this with the judge at the TMC. If you are close the likelihood that a judge can get you to settle before the trial at the TMC is very high. A lot of matters settle at TMC.

If you are close the judge won't want the matter to go to trial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
He is requesting to hold funds until I leave the property and inspects for damages.
If this is the breaking point on the agreement the judge at the TMC will crap all over them for such nonsense. No reason to go to trial for something so stupid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
He is going to try and stick me with damages but there are none.
This is an odd thing to request. The judge at the TMC will crap all over this nonsense. Sounds like you really need a judge to mediate the nonsense. So going to a TMC in 3 days could be a good thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
I just fired my lawyer because I cannot afford the back and forth anymore.
Depending on the justice you get this may be a good thing at the TMC. (I know i sound crazy.) So long as you demonstrate you are willing to compromise you could get the upper hand easily and a judge may really press them hard to settle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
I am now self represented have no job and a 6 month old baby from the relationship. The lawyers were trying to draft a consent order which he initially agreed through correspondence to pay a 1 time lump sum, but is now trying to switch it to two payments.
This is common to do though. People often realize late that they don't have the funds to may one single payment and then request too. I would recommend you accept this term. Nothing nefarious about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
If we don't have the consent order done before Thursday what do I do?
You get it done at the TMC with the assistance of a judge.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumpedatlowestpoint View Post
I need to apply for legal aid and also asked him to do mediation today with no response.
Too late for legal aid. Also, you were previously paying for a lawyer that you fired. Generally, you have already demonstrated you can pay your legals. I wouldn't count on Legal Aid coming through.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
You are female, unemployed, and the mother of an infant. You are the best possible parent in the eyes of family law, since you can devote yourself full time to the upbringing of your precious child. I wouldn't worry too much, it is extremely unusual for women in your situation to lose.
The other parent has already secured a status quote of 2-2-3 it appears... with a nesting arrangement in the home. Suffice to say, the child has won already having both parents involved. Hopefully this nonsense doesn't escalate and make the parenting arrangement conflicted.
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:10 PM
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The nesting can't last, and she can stay at home and watch the child. The kid isn't going to win this one.
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