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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 07-21-2015, 09:25 AM
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Default Health Cards and clothing

My wife and I are separated, and we have an agreement in place.

Issue #1
In our agreement it stipulates that Health Cards must travel with the children. She has indicated that she will make photocopies of the health cards to travel with the children between our residences. Are there any legal issues with this? (aside from her not obeying the order)

Issue #2
She often sends the children to my place with damaged or under-sized clothing (socks and pants with holes in them, used winter boots that fall off, etc). She is receiving support (child and spousal) so I believe that the children should be outfitted properly. What are my options in ensuring the children are properly clothed?
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Old 07-21-2015, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by natty2013 View Post
Issue #1
In our agreement it stipulates that Health Cards must travel with the children. She has indicated that she will make photocopies of the health cards to travel with the children between our residences. Are there any legal issues with this? (aside from her not obeying the order)
Not really an issue. If you have a photocopy that is enough to get service. The ER rooms are very familiar with parents coming in without their children's health cards and have a variety of ways to look up the information.

You can also request the medical card information from the ministry unless you are NOT a joint custodial parent. You really just need the number.

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Originally Posted by natty2013 View Post
Issue #2
She often sends the children to my place with damaged or under-sized clothing (socks and pants with holes in them, used winter boots that fall off, etc). She is receiving support (child and spousal) so I believe that the children should be outfitted properly. What are my options in ensuring the children are properly clothed?
You can purchase clothing to have at your residence for the children to wear. You can then send them home in the same clothing they came in. There really isn't anything you can do and if you send the good clothing home it will never come back.

I wouldn't make a huge issue of it and resolve the issue while the children are residing with you.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 07-21-2015, 12:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natty2013 View Post
My wife and I are separated, and we have an agreement in place.

Issue #1
In our agreement it stipulates that Health Cards must travel with the children. She has indicated that she will make photocopies of the health cards to travel with the children between our residences. Are there any legal issues with this? (aside from her not obeying the order)

The judge actually ordered that my ex provide a photocopy of child's health card so that it doesn't get lost in the shuffle and it's been fine.

Issue #2
She often sends the children to my place with damaged or under-sized clothing (socks and pants with holes in them, used winter boots that fall off, etc). She is receiving support (child and spousal) so I believe that the children should be outfitted properly. What are my options in ensuring the children are properly clothed?
I decided to pick my battles on this one and got some inexpensive clothing in good condition at thrift shops and purchased a few new items that my young son wears on his days/weekends with me.

I change him into "play clothes" when we get to my place and put what my ex sent him in aside (even the shoes/boots). He goes home wearing exactly what he had on when I picked him up and it is clean and undamaged or at least in the exact same condition as when he left his mom.

I NEVER criticize the clothing my ex puts on our child to her or to little guy even though he is not quite 2. I want him to just roll with going back and forth without this being an issue.

Sometimes my ex sends our son in clothes that are worn out and don't fit and other times they are brand new and brand designer labels.

Doesn't matter either way to me, I keep my mouth shut and do my own thing and have a great time with my son.

YD23
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Old 07-21-2015, 12:43 PM
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Even in the case of the three kids who reside with my wife and I, the wife carries the originals of the health cards, and I have copies of them in my wallet. As long as you have the number with the version code, an ER will not refuse service, and our regular doctor accepts it fine.

For the second issue on clothes, you have to pick your fights. My friend used to have the same problem with his child always showing up in undersized, worn out clothing. He documented it via photo and video. He also built up a small wardrobe.

When his ex's new boyfriend struck his son, he then filed a complaint with CAS and Police, and added the clothing issue to the CAS complaint. The son now shows up for the weekend in clothes that fit, I don't know what happened to the boyfriend.
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Old 07-21-2015, 01:03 PM
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Thank you all for your feedback. I've been buying clothes for my kids to wear already when they are with me - I think my concern was that she is not providing for them based on the money she is receiving. I thought that was the purpose of child support?

Regarding the health cards, I understand more now. Thanks again.
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Old 07-21-2015, 01:12 PM
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She may also just be sending them in old clothes in the hopes youll buy them more. She could have a closet full of great clothing but sends them to you like that.

The first two years of my partners divorce, the kids would sweet talk him into taking them shopping. Told him they couldnt afford stuff and were being bullied due to their clothes. He felt guilty and was dropping hundreds on them each month in addition to full table support and his ex making three times what he makes. He stopped that immediately when he started seeing name brand clothing on them that he hadnt bought and when they slipped and talked about the shopping trips they took with mom. It could all be a ploy. Just keep doing what youre doing.
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Old 07-21-2015, 01:23 PM
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The challenge is that most people don't operate their money in pools/funds. They co-mingle their funds.

You can't challenge how your ex chooses to spend your support, unless you can prove that she's failing to provide the necessities for your children - are they fed, clothed, and sheltered? My ex's financials claim that she earns <20k, but she still has money for manicure/pedicures, vacations to the caribean, and brand new electronics. Apparently it pays to live off of other people's hard work.

Last edited by nfc4ever; 07-21-2015 at 01:24 PM. Reason: fix up grammar
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Old 07-21-2015, 03:30 PM
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I think that was my main concern, that she wasn't providing reasonable clothing for them. However, another response in this list also mentioned about how it could just be a ruse to get me to buy clothes (which I happen to know my mother fell for last year in regards to winter coats).

Thanks again everyone for your comments.
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Old 07-21-2015, 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natty2013 View Post
I think that was my main concern, that she wasn't providing reasonable clothing for them. However, another response in this list also mentioned about how it could just be a ruse to get me to buy clothes (which I happen to know my mother fell for last year in regards to winter coats).

Thanks again everyone for your comments.
or maybe your ex is worried that if she sends the kids in good clothes that those clothes will go "missing" at your place. Not saying that you would send the kids back in ill-fitting clothes but it has happened to others.

I take it you don't have 50/50?
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:29 PM
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You're doing the right thing. Consignment shops and thrift stores are your friend. Stock up on decent clothes for kids to wear at your place and don't sweat it. You can also re-consign the clothes when the kids grow out of them.

The last thing you want is for the kids to be stressed or anxious about coming from Mom's house to Dad's, and if they get the idea that their clothes are an issue, they'll be anxious.
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