He replied HELP ASAP!!!!!!!

[littleman]

He has intentions of taking my son!!!!!!!!!..........he has asked for childrens lawyer for our son...........OMG!!!!!!!!!!!in his court statements he has lied...sez he never rcvd my financial statements and now wants to sue me for child support and take him away from me........giving me generous (liberal) visitation (BS)........will they grant him custody whereas he works nights and cant take care of our son......no one at the residence and I will be damned if some other woman will look after my son........the lies he has down on his response are amazing........considering I have emails & court papers to dissprove him...........I will lose my mind if he gets my son

[logicalvelocity]

littleman,

Where is your son now? Is he living with you? If so how long has this living arrangement gone on for? How old is your son?

If your son has been living with you and is doing well while in your care, I suspect the court would not interrupt that. It is going to take a bit of time to get the case moving. Were you served with some sort of court document? If so, what was served "Answer" and notice of case conference, and case conferece brief?

LV

[littleman]

he emailed me copy of fact sheet from his lawyer.........apparently all documents to be served later today(when I get home from work).....my son has lived with me since date of separation........he claims in fact sheet that I moved without his consent however I still reside in same city.....in this fact sheet he has also lied many times and I have proof to his misleading statements.........I am just fed up with him.........I am so upset right now I dont know what to do

[logicalvelocity]

littleman,

Okay, I must admit that it is a pathetic way to find out about what is going to be served upon you later today. However it braces you somewhat for what you will receive this evening.

Accept the documents whatever is served. Be yourself, Be calm Be polite.

Most likely, your are about to receive an ANSWER document. This document is in regards to your APPLICATION. In addition to this, you will perhaps receive a case conference brief for a forthcoming case conference. (I went back and read some of your previous threads) Service of the ANSWER is important. This being that service is effective as of tomorrow. You have 10 days from tomorrow to complete, serve and file with the registar a REPLY and no later. The REPLYwill be important as it will give you an opportunity to rebute his claims.

Now in regards to the living situation, you have been separataed for awhile and your son has been living with you primarily for some time. May I ask how long has this living arrangement gone on for?

If it has been going on for ie: more than 90 days I would say by default you had his implied consent to this living arrangement hence you have defacto custody currently. I will past excerpts from the CLR act

Custody and Access

Father and mother entitled to custody

20. (1) Except as otherwise provided in this Part, the father and the mother of a child are equally entitled to custody of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (1).

Under the CLR Act both parents are equally entiled to custody of the child

Rights and responsibilities

(2) A person entitled to custody of a child has the rights and responsibilities of a parent in respect of the person of the child and must exercise those rights and responsibilities in the best interests of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (2).

It appears to me that you have been exercising those rights and responsibilities in the child's best interest

Authority to act

(3) Where more than one person is entitled to custody of a child, any one of them may exercise the rights and accept the responsibilities of a parent on behalf of them in respect of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (3).

Where parents separate

(4) Where the parents of a child live separate and apart and the child lives with one of them with the consent, implied consent or acquiescence of the other of them, the right of the other to exercise the entitlement of custody and the incidents of custody, but not the entitlement to access, is suspended until a separation agreement or order otherwise provides. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (4).

With that mentioned, It appears that you have been acting as the custodial parent with the consent, implied consent or acquiescence If a person remains silent for a fair amount of time this is considered acquiescence.

Now, since you have defacto custody and his right to and incidents of custody have been suspended, the right of access is NOT suspended. I believe I read the he was exercising access etc so this is good. It also shows that your acting in the child's best interest., even providing access transportation I may add.

[littleman]

my child has been residing with me for the last 5 years.........nt just 90 days....now the no good father wants him.......to let some tramp help raise him while we works evenings.......he claims I changed residence without his consent (thought if I stay in same county/district doesnt matter where I live as long as he knows my current address) .....with his papers I have to file a reply with the court office??.......and if I understand your email correctly have 10 days to do so.......our court date is 7 days away!!!!!!!!

[logicalvelocity]

5 Years? You have his consent. If a person remains silent for 5 years and does nothing about it in that time well, I must say you have defacto custody and are the child's primary caregiver. Are you the parent taking the child to the medical and dental appointments? I suspect you are.

Okay, I realize your upset, but the name calling has to stop. Its good to vent in the forum! Don't vent in person. Your life and parenting ability will be under the microscope now. Don't give him ammo. Be pleasant and polite etc. Never defame him in front of the child etc. Do not let him push your buttons and make you say something or do something irrational. Be careful of this trap.

Okay you will receive the ANSWER, service is effective tomorrow as it is after 2 p.m. You will have 10 days from tomorrow to complete serve and file a REPLY. Best to have this completed by May 19, 2006. Your deadline date actually expires on Saturday May 20, 2006, However the court offices are closed on Saturdays. You cannot serve documents on a Sunday without the court's permission, so you have an extension to Monday 2 p.m. date actually.

The Reply is optional but it will give you an opportunity to rebut his claims.


Your forthcoming court appearance is a 1st appearance. You will see a number of people, and most likely meet in a conference room. These people have matters before the court like you and are also there for a first appearance. In the morning while in this room, there will be a registrar, you and your ex will meet with the registrar. The Registrar will confirm the issues and that the Application and Answer has been served and filed into the record along with financial statements etc The Registrar will confirm whether both parties have filed and served conference briefs. If everything is a go, you will have your first case conference most likely that afternoon.

[littleman]

I apologize for the name calling.just frustrating now......I take my son to all dental & medical appointments (might add I pay for all prescriptions and dental work myself......I did bring up the fact our child requires orthotics and he still has not paid his half(he assumes I will pay for it then he pays me.......took him almost 3 months to pay half of dental bil from Jan-it was only 50$ his half).......if I reply right away (as in tomorrow) will this still drag out........when I filed I was happy with courtdate and thought this would get over & done with....however you are saying this could drag on.......in his fact sheet he claims he lives on 20$/mnth safter expenses.......I dont think that will help his cause of custody....will this work against him......also I am sure he didnt include the rental income he has been recieving for the last 5 years on his financial statement

[logicalvelocity]

littleman,

No need to apologize to me It is a stressful time. Best place to do it is in here. Not at your ex.

You have paying for all the dental and medical expenses yourself it appears that your ex isn't to child centered! It appears that his claim is to do about money already. If I see it, the courts will too!

Take your time with your REPLY. You have 10 days. Reread it over and over until your satisfied. Give yourself a day or two to reflect what he has written in his answer.

I personally think already you have a very strong case

primary caregiver, been looking after the child for the last 5 years with his acquired consent, been taking the child independantly to medical and denatl appointments, been paying for these expenses, have accomodated the child's access, providing access travel.

You could even state the reason WHY you brought forth the application, ie: support is always late, delays making contributions to section 7 expenses, access travel arrangements, support for the one summer month etc.

The custody of the child is going to hinge on the best interest test as found in section 24(2) and 24(3) of the CLR ACT

as listed

Best interests of child

(2) The court shall consider all the child’s needs and circumstances, including,

(a) the love, affection and emotional ties between the child and,

(i) each person entitled to or claiming custody of or access to the child,

(ii) other members of the child’s family who reside with the child, and

(iii) persons involved in the child’s care and upbringing;

(b) the child’s views and preferences, if they can reasonably be ascertained;

(c) the length of time the child has lived in a stable home environment;

(d) the ability and willingness of each person applying for custody of the child to provide the child with guidance and education, the necessaries of life and any special needs of the child;

(e) any plans proposed for the child’s care and upbringing;

(f) the permanence and stability of the family unit with which it is proposed that the child will live;

(g) the ability of each person applying for custody of or access to the child to act as a parent; and

(h) the relationship by blood or through an adoption order between the child and each person who is a party to the application. 2006, c. 1, s. 3 (1).

Past conduct

(3) A person’s past conduct shall be considered only,

(a) in accordance with subsection (4); or

(b) if the court is satisfied that the conduct is otherwise relevant to the person’s ability to act as a parent. 2006, c. 1, s. 3 (1).

My emphasis on being polite and respectively to your ex deals with 24(3) a and b above.


You can find a REPLY Form 10A here

http://www.ontariocourtforms.on.ca/e...mily/index.jsp

Take a look at it.

[Divorcemanagement]

He has intentions of taking my son!!!!!!!!!..........he has asked for childrens lawyer for our son...........OMG!!!!!!!!!!!in his court statements he has lied...sez he never rcvd my financial statements and now wants to sue me for child support and take him away from me........giving me generous (liberal) visitation (BS)........will they grant him custody whereas he works nights and cant take care of our son......no one at the residence and I will be damned if some other woman will look after my son........the lies he has down on his response are amazing........considering I have emails & court papers to dissprove him...........I will lose my mind if he gets my son

Hi Littleman:

LV has done a fantastic job of pointing you in the direction of what the law says about your situation. I thought I would add a few things of my own:

1) You mentioned his court statemtents contain lies - presumably this is an Affidavit and it's too bad you weren't here a couple of days ago because we had an interesting thread about the fictitious nature of many Affidavits. As a divorce coach, I often tell clients "don't read his/her Affidavit until we have a meeting or you have met with your lawyer". The reason I do this is because they are often filled with inflammatory statements about one party's character, personal habits, parenting abilities, earning capacity, events that occurred during the marriage - the list goes on. Very simply, Affidavits can be very upsetting but now that you've read it, let me make my next point...

2) Fact - fewer than 10% of people go litigate over child custody.

3) Fact - pre-trial legal expenses for each party (including a bi-lateral custody evaluation) can easily exceed $20,000/litigant. Unless he has a trunk full of gold in his car, he is probably like most people in a custody dispute - unable to bankroll the cost of a full blown battle.

4) Fact - courts are unlikely to alter the status quo - meaning if your child has lived with you since the separation, the courts will generally uphold that living arrangement.

5) Fact - the Children's Lawyer isn't necessarily a bad thing and here's why: if it is difficult to build consensus between mom's lawyer and dad's lawyer - it is even more difficult if we throw in a third lawyer. As well, if he is a complete jerk and is bent on waging war with you over your child, the children's lawyer may be inclined to see that as negative quality about dad and it would negatively impact that lawyer's opinion of dad - does that make sense?

6) Fact - few fathers are successful in obtaining sole custody - the reason for this are varied, but one reason is that because he is a father, his motivations will be held to a greater degree of scrutiny.

7) Fact - there are some strategies that I can offer to you in greater detail if you send me an email at my website - I will send you a e-workbook (free ) called "The Mother's Guide to Custody and Access". It will help you manage the issues you are currently experiencing and will also deconstruct the way in which a hostile father will be trying to build a case against you.

You have some hard work and trying times ahead. Stay focused. Continue to parent the way you always have - there is nothing wrong with you as a parent in spite of what his Affidavit might say.

Also - drink tea. (Well, I do - it relaxes me... hang in there.)

[littleman]

I may just need that......I do not have legal representation whereas with the evidence I have the FRO lawyer advised me not required.....he has dug his own grave in their words.........many lies and backtracks in emails he has sent me.........not to mention signed agreement prior to final divorce being awarded..........I would love a copy of the guide you are speaking of but you didnt provide me with email addy to contact you...are the laws in Calgary same as Ontario