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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 08-08-2012, 08:02 PM
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Default Had Our Case Conference Today

First off, I arrived way too early (an hour an a half) as I was immediately told that duty council would have lunch and talk to me once finished lunch at 2:00. Which was when our case conference was scheduled for. Duty council didn't really say much to me at all.

I met with the respondents lawyer and she briefly told me that they were willing to work on an a agreement. I told her that supervised access was far fetched and that I didn't find it necessary as I am not a threat to the child. I told the lawyer that I would like to hear the judges advice.

The judge basically said that we are two young parents who can't agree. He did say that it is important for the child to spend time with BOTH parents. He explained to me that I would be granted permission to file a motion for access but suggested that I accept the 1 month of supervised access at a centre. He basically implied that it was peanuts to do and to just get it over with.

I was very hesitant making a deal with the respondents lawyer as I am only self representing and am just learning the court process.

The order I agreed to is as follows

a) twice weekly for two hours supervised at a access centre
b)Upon four consecutive week of successful supervised access visits the access shall occur twice weekly, two hour unsupervised visits for two weeks. After the two weeks the applicant shall have unsupervised visits every wednesday from 9:00 a.m.-12:00 a.m. and alternating weekends on saturday and sunday from 10 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.

b)The applicant shall provide the respondent with 24 hours notice should he have to cancel an access visit

4) the parents shall communicate only by email for the purpose of discussing access. In the even of an emergency the parties shall be permitted to contact each other by telephone.

5) neither parties shall speak disparagingly towards one another. particularly in front of the child.

Also, child support was settled even though I will be paying FRO as the respondent is on assistance.

Settlement conference booked for Dec. 21.

The way I look at it is that I am at least getting some visitation as I have barely had any in this 8 month year olds life. I understand that the judge would want me to ease my way into our daughters life.

Do you think I did the right thing in this situation? I had a spur of the moment decision where I didn't want to wait another 2 months while a motion was in process to spend time with my daughter.

Thank you!
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Old 08-08-2012, 09:46 PM
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Tayken, I know that you stressed that I don't accept supervised access but the judge really urged me to just do it. Do you think I did the right thing here?
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Old 08-08-2012, 11:25 PM
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Default supervised access

I have been in your shoes and can appreciate the stress and emotion you are under, but i dont think you made this best decision at that moment.

from my experience-exactly-the court will not listen to a motion when there is a SC date set, i had to deal with this a few times and the court would not hear it.

on the other hand you have several months to prove yourself with documentation and ask for increased unsupervised access with overnights at the SC., try to get a date for overnights to occur to avoid the stress and cost
of a further court date.

take care, the raven
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:08 AM
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Thanks raven, now that it's settled in I think you're right. The way I was looking at it was that I was going to play the game as honest as I could. Any access is better than what I've received to date. As you mentioned I will document every single visit in depth.

It's hard not being a lawyer and dealing with a lawyer just based on internet research and free legal advice.
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:16 AM
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Default supervised access

no problem, i was in your shoes, and less than a year later i was granted all access we wish for. besides having good access in your supervised center i would recommend taking some inexpensive courses like,first aid for children,fathers parenting(if you are the father), they will show how committed you are this december to the court, and possibly the other parnet.

best of luck, raven
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:18 AM
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Just actually completed my refresher for my first aid/cpr for work so that might be good to state. Also I was recommended a good "Dad's" program. Hopefully the more that I do the easier it will be for the judge to rule a final result.

I appreciate the advice and recommendations!
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:24 AM
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the dads program will look excellent for you, and also you will meet and learn from others, if your child is an infant or very young the childrens first aid is great to have., i am glad to have the experiences and the certificates help seal the deal when the law was involved, raven
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:59 AM
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my advice...do everything the judge asked....and maybe go above and beyond like the others have said....you said you ex had a lawyer that could be a bad thing if your ex has lots of money...or a good thing if the ex is under pressure financially to settle...(the ex's lawyer knows how far this can be taken) everybody get's 50-50..keep going for that, make a parenting plan....don't do anything to delay matters or look unreasonable or you may wind up paying court costs.....it's all forms and patience...goodluck(not spelchecked)
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Old 08-09-2012, 01:26 AM
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my ex is getting legal aid so she can disagree to anything any the lawyer won't care because she's getting paid. I will go the extra mile to please the courts. thanks!
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Old 08-09-2012, 02:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
my ex is getting legal aid so she can disagree to anything any the lawyer won't care because she's getting paid. I will go the extra mile to please the courts. thanks!
Well, lawyer may be do not care to some extent but your ex should
http://www.hamiltonlaw.on.ca/Libraries/Family_Law_HLA_Articles/FLApril2012.sflb.ashx

Is that order what you consent to has Without Prejudice in it?

WD
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