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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 01-30-2017, 05:13 PM
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Background

Ex and I have been separated for over one year. We have 3 children, and have been sharing custody on a weekly basis from day one. I have been paying child support from day one based on the shared parenting schedule. We tried the Collaborative Process. It failed. The ex filed an application Court.

Her Claims

- Divorce
- Spousal Support
- Sole Custody
- Child Support
- Equalization of NFP
- Exclusive possession of matrimonial home
- Exclusive possession of matrimonial home content (estimated worth $25000)
- Order declaring her half owner of the matrimonial home
- Order for sale of matrimonial home

My answer

- I agree with the divorce

- I disagree with SS. She works and earns $80K/year. She lives with her father, who earns $60K/year. She refuses to disclose her father’s income. SSAG calculation show both low and midpoint amounts at $0.00 (that’s without the income of the other income earner in the home)

- I requested to maintain the shared parenting that has been in place for a year. But I was obligated to request sole custody in the event a judge rules joint custody not feasible. The ex works on call on odd weeks, and does not make it back home before 6:30PM on even weeks. She relies on 16 years old baby sitters to look after the children, and sporadically on her mother. She is often late to take the children to their extra-curricular activities. All occurrences are documented. I work Monday to Friday, 8 to 4PM. I drop the children to daycare before school, and pick them up after school. I do homework, make dinner, and ensure they make it to all their extracurricular activities. My oldest child has requested many times to come live with me. I have explained to her that these matters take time, and that she should be patient. I return her every week.

- I agree with equalization of NFP. All my forms and documents have been disclosed.

- I don’t agree with an order for exclusive possession of the matrimonial home, even though she has had de facto exclusive possession of the matrimonial home since I have moved out.

- She has had exclusive use of the matrimonial property content since separation. I only left with a suitcase containing my clothes. I only ask for the value of the content to be reflected on her NFP… which she refuses.

- I bought the house during an older separation phase. We had sold our previous matrimonial home. She received 75% of the sale profit (documented by bank transactions and copies of cheques). I received 25% which I used to purchase the current matrimonial home. Therefore, I disagree with an order declaring her ½ owner of the house, and the order that the home be sold.

To me, the case is straight forward. As long as I continue parenting the way I do, I don’t believe a judge would remove the children from my care. As far as the house is concerned, I want to keep it. It’s the children inheritance. However, the worst that can happen is that there is an order to sale it. That would not be the end of the world either.

For those reasons, I decided to represent myself in court. I would love to hear from self-rep people who have gone through this. Any advice, words of caution, would be greatly appreciated.

Last edited by alberich; 01-30-2017 at 05:18 PM. Reason: spelling
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Old 01-30-2017, 08:12 PM
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You failed to mention how long you were married (or did I miss that?).
Did your STBX have a period of unemployment through the marriage to stay home to look after the children? If so, how long, and did she return to the same job?

So you voluntarily moved out of the matrimonial home? Why don't you move back in?

As you have moved out, in, out again (reconciled a few times) and homes were bought and sold and money dispersed, this is not a straight-forward matter. You should study some case law (which I believe was provided just last week to you). I urge you to seek legal advice.

Income of household is not relevant to spousal support unless one or the other person is claiming 'undue hardship.' So naturally, your FIL's income is not relevant.
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Old 01-30-2017, 10:11 PM
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Thank you for commenting Arabian. We were married 12 years. The ex has a college diploma, and a university degree. She left her career of 10 years to go get 2nd university degree (no t look after the children). She is working again making more than the first job. I left the matrimonial home to avoid escalating conflict. That was a good call, because not long after she was charged with assault. Are there been no witnesses, this could have been me...there was only one separation, one hom sold, and one reconciliation. The money is easily traced. I have already done it and disclosed all documents. I admit, it will be up to a judge to ak the final decision. I will see which way the wind blows at the case conference.
I had a lawyer. After 5 months, a successful motion, and countless emails between the lawyers, I've decided to do this myself. My lawyer, a decent person, has left the door open, and said that he would represent me again if I felt the need to retain someone again.
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Old 01-30-2017, 11:45 PM
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Home much money are your parents owed (purchase/downpayment of home, paying off debts, co-signing loans)?

Is her current income commensurate with what she studied in university? Example, if she received an engineering degree is she working in that capacity?

Are there student loans? If not, how was the university paid for?

When you separated was your ex in school or finished school and working full time?

Do you agree that the matrimonial home be sold? Or do you want to live in the home?
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:22 AM
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What do you mean by "how much are your parents owed"? We don't owe anything to our parents. Yes. Her current income is commensurate with her last university degree. There is a student line of credit, which is listed in her NFP. The ex had been working full time when we separated. One interesting side note, she failed to pay her income taxes for the entire year preceding her asking for a separation...also listed in her NFP. I don't agree with the sale of the matrimonial home at this point. I can refinance and pay the equalization amount.
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Old 01-31-2017, 08:57 AM
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It would be wise to keep your lawyer around. Especially when it comes to writing affidavits and making legal arguments in court.

She is asking the typical things single moms usually ask for. Sole custody, home, full child support, 2 arms and one leg. She's not going to get them.

You should return to your home. You have a right to be there.Your next step should be to list your house for sale. A little contradictory but you're at liberty to sleep in your home until it is sold.

Last edited by trinton; 01-31-2017 at 08:59 AM.
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Old 01-31-2017, 09:24 AM
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Thank you for your comment Triton. Returning to the home is not an option. there are criminal charges at play now.
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Old 01-31-2017, 09:45 AM
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A few thoughts:

With respect to the matrimonial home, I believe that the law treats it as a special form of property which is divided equally between the divorcing spouses, no matter how it was purchased - in other words, you are both equal owners of the matrimonial home. You would need to either sell the home and split the profits or if you want to keep the house, you need to pay her the equivalent of half the equity in the home. Negotiating which you are going to do could take some time and effort.

Given that you've been sharing parenting since you split up, I see no obstacle to continuing joint custody and shared residence with the children.

Your ex's father's income is irrelevant for calculating child support - only her income and your income are counted.
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:10 AM
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Hi Stripes,

You are right the matrimonial home has special status. But, title of the home does matter in Ontario when it comes to calculating NFP. If it is jointly owned, then the value is listed in both spouses NFPs 50/50. If it's not, then the value is listed in the title-spouse NFP, and the other spouse receives an equalization payment.
The income of my ex's father is relevant for Spousal Support, not child support (sorry for the misunderstanding). Part 3 of the Financial Statement form 13.1 actually requires to disclose the name, employment and income information of other income earners in the home if you are making a claim for Spousal Support, which the ex is doing. Child support is not an issue. I have been paying it according to the guidelines from day one.
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:26 AM
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My adult son lived (and worked) with me at the time of my separation and divorce 9 months later. I have been to court over 12 times since that time (my ex challenging SS) including through a court-directed 5 year review of SS. My son's income has never been considered relevant to determination of SS. My ex and I were both represented by competent legal counsel.

Debts (including income taxes owed) and assets are divided.

At the time of separation our marital home was titled soley to my ex. I was still entitled to a minimum of 50% of equity of home. Judge determined that I was entitled to an unequal spit, in my favor, of matrimonial property.

Why did your ex previously receive 75% of sale of previous matrimonial home?
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