First court date coming up tomorrow...opinion?

[Dooks]

Hi folks

I've been lurking on this forum for the last few weeks to try and get some tips on my upcoming court case and finally decided to post to try and get some feedback on the particulars of my case.

Long story short, my ex and I lived together, had one child, were never married and seperated 2 years ago. When we separated we signed an agreement for custody (43% with me and 57% with her) and agreed that no child support would be paid. I continued to pay half of any non day-to-day expenses such as day care, clothing, organized sports etc.

One year ago she filed a court case asking for the child support amount and sole custody. We came to an agreement out of court and signed a new written agreement that retained the same custody arrangements and I agreed to pay her approximately 60% of the table amount (our gross income was comparable at the time). I have paid the CS to her each month and on time. In addition to that, I have also spent more on the child's clothing than she has and also purchased the child a bike in the spring.

When my ex told me that she couldn't afford to buy summer clothes for our child, I had enough and applied for half of the Canada Child Tax Benefit and was granted that after a review. I also claimed my child as an eligible dependent on my income tax return. Following that, I closed the joint bank account we held together since the account was constantly in overdraft and was being used as her float until pay day. I believe that this series of events sent her over the edge and now she has started court action in retaliation. She is now asking for the table amount and no more overnight stays on the weeknights.

All in all, I feel great about going into court on Thursday. I have my child's report cards which are all positive. My ex even acknowledges in her claim that our child is very well behaved and well adjusted. In addition, not only do I pay the CS but I contribute more than she does to the financial upbringing of our child (above and beyond the CS amount)....but apparently she is not happy with just "breaking even" at the end of the month while I am out of pocket hundreds of dollars.

I do have a couple questions though - My ex has completed a financial statement but has neglected to claim at least 3 different sources of income (which I have proof of). From what I understand, intentionally lying on financial statement is perjury...but how does a judge view this? And could it impact our case at all?

Secondly, I recently learned that she is moving in with her boyfriend at the end of this month. Will that have any effect on the amount of child support?

Also, she claims financial hardship but two weeks after I was served with the court docs, she went on a an all inclusive trip to the Dominican for a week (bonehead!).

As for me, I am a reasonable guy. I still get along great with her family. Her dad invited my child and I over to their family's Easter dinner this year (as he put it, "I will tell [my ex, his daughter] that you are coming over and she can decide for herself if she wants to attend or not") and her brother and I are on the same hockey team and carpool there together. Also, my ex asked me to be a personal reference for a job she was applying for earlier this year and I agreed (this was AFTER our first court date).

Sorry I tried to keep it short but I tend to go on sometimes....thanks for reading this far and please

Any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks!

[standing on the sidelines]

Wow if only all ex-husbands could be like you. Lets see as long as you can prove the perjury that would really work in your favour I think. The trip she took was a "bonehead" thing to do but I am not sure if that will have any impact.
As for you staynig close to her family and being there for Easter dinner. I am thinking that there is something seriously wrong with the parent daughter relationship there. I can see the kids being there but for them to invite the ex to a family function in their home is a slap in the face to their own child. Yes you may get along with the family but by the comment the father made, he is putting you above his own daughter. Not a good scene. Maybe it would be wise for you to spend holidays like that with your own family?? After I got divorced my ex would go to my parents place (they never accepted him when we were married) and it hurt me and affected my relationship with them.

[Maggie82]

I wouldn't worry too much about your court date. I'm sure it will be fine... though long... as they always are. Just be honest, and stick to your guns. Try to point out that you're trying to keep things as normal as possible for your child, as he/she is so well adjusted to the situation, and you don't want to uproot him/her and cause him/her anxiety. You seem to have everything well documented. Just remember to bring it all with you, and stick to the major things. Family court doesn't have time to deal with all the fine details. As long as you concentrate on the major issues at hand (i.e. custody, child support, access) you will be fine. I hope to hear from you soon, about how it all went. Good luck!

[Dooks]

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines

As for you staynig close to her family and being there for Easter dinner. I am thinking that there is something seriously wrong with the parent daughter relationship there. I can see the kids being there but for them to invite the ex to a family function in their home is a slap in the face to their own child. Yes you may get along with the family but by the comment the father made, he is putting you above his own daughter. Not a good scene. Maybe it would be wise for you to spend holidays like that with your own family?? After I got divorced my ex would go to my parents place (they never accepted him when we were married) and it hurt me and affected my relationship with them.

Thanks for your reply! Her dad's motives were to see his grandson on Easter and he understands how unreasonable she is. Other than that, I think they have a typical father-daughter relationship. After she found out about this and blew a gasket and not wanting to cause a riff between them, I called her dad and thanked him for the invite and told him I wouldn't go since I didn't want to cause any problems.

This whole situation sucks because I have always been close with her family (pre and post separation) and I think it really makes her angry that they won't hate me like she does. I grew up without a father and her dad is a good man so I've always looked at him as a father figure.

When we went to court for the first time last year, he came with her and sat between us while we waited to be called. I found out later that she got mad at him because he and I spent a lot of time chatting with each other while she sat there silently fuming.

She doesn't know that her brother and I play hockey together so although it may help my case, I'm not going to bring up any of this in court because I don't want her dad or brother to feel the wrath.

[Dooks]

Originally Posted by Maggie82

As long as you concentrate on the major issues at hand (i.e. custody, child support, access) you will be fine. I hope to hear from you soon, about how it all went. Good luck!

Seems like good advice.. thanks and I will post tomorrow with an update