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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 12-29-2005, 09:14 AM
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Unhappyman is on a distinguished road
Default Financial income and divorce

Without getting into detail, it has been a terrible few years. I was thinking of getting a divorce and then my wife informed me she was pregnant. Well, we now have a 1 year old baby and even more to argue/fight about.

Currently she decided to take an extra 6 months before going back to work (after maternaty leave). I have been in and out of work for the past several years due to medical reasons of an auto accident.

I have tried counceling and it just doesn't seem to help. It's looking like a divorce is going to be the only solution that will end the fight. I don't want my daughter to have to grow up in a combat zone.

Does the court take into consideration maternaty leave when figuring out support payments? I am not sure if I should wait for my wife to go back to work (as she will make more money than I do), or start proceedings now.

In thinking about our daughter, I'd rather have her grow up with two seperated parents who are civil to each other. She is young enough not to realize that we are getting seperated and have to go through the divorce process. I just don't want to get the short end of the stick and be paying for my wife with support payments when she can work, and make far more money and give our daughter a better future than if I was trying to pay for the whole thing by myself.

Any advice is appreciated.
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Old 12-29-2005, 04:29 PM
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hubby will become famous soon enough

Well details can and do help us to give you more accurate advice ... but hey.

As I stated before ... counselling has a 25% success rate. I do know there are things to look for in a counsellor. However, my opinion is that a marriage coach may be more effective. There are differneces between a counsellor and a coach. A counsellor sort of helps to guide you, listen and help with conflict. A coach on the other hand .. formulates a game plan and has you put it into action. Big difference ... in my opinion.

All I can say to you is that 'the grass in NOT greener on the other side'! Many can attest to this.

If you can honestly say that you put in a real effort to make this work and have exhausted ALL avenues ... then by all means, go, however if you have not, it may come back to you at some future time where you may say 'I wonder if I had tried just a bit more' ... you get the picture.

You know there are only two characters that seperate happyman from un-happyman. With a little effort ... you just may be able to make it.

  #3 (permalink)  
Old 12-29-2005, 05:41 PM
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Yes, I beleive the court system takes into account maternity leave. They will be looking at the last 3 years of each of your income tax. You will aways be responsible to pay your share of child support, based on your salary.
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Old 12-30-2005, 10:47 PM
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lpstong is on a distinguished road

I know that is a downside for the man when a woman takes maternity leave. I know that in the United States that a man can take Maternity leave as well if I understand correctly. Where he can stay home with mother and child to assist. I can be wrong but I think that is how it works.
But it is very difficult as many would agree that it would be hard to work a week or two before dilevery and maybe a few weeks after for a woman.
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Old 12-31-2005, 02:47 AM
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In Canada,

Either parent can take parental leave but not both at same time to look after newborn children.

Parental benefits

Parental benefits are payable either to the biological or adoptive parents while they are caring for a new-born or an adopted child, up to a maximum of 35 weeks. To receive parental benefits you are required to have worked for 600 hours in the last 52 weeks or since your last claim. You must sign a statement declaring the newborn's date of birth, or, when there is an adoption, the child's date of placement for the purpose of the adoption, and the name and address of the adoption authority.

Parental benefits can be claimed by one parent or shared between the two partners but will not exceed a combined maximum of 35 weeks. Claimants making application for parental benefits must provide the name and Social Insurance Number (SIN) of the other parent for cross-reference purposes.

Parental benefits for biological parents and their partners are payable from the child's birth date, and for adoptive parents and their partners from the date the child is placed with you. Parental benefits are only available within the 52 weeks following the child's birth, or for adoptive parents, within the 52 weeks from the date the child is placed with you, unless your child is hospitalized.

The weekly EI payment and the number of weeks to be paid remain the same even if you give birth to more than one child or if you adopt at the same time.

When determining how you and your partner want to take advantage of your parental leave several choices can be made, here are some examples:

Example 1
You and your partner are sharing parental benefits, you can take the time together, the 35 weeks would be shared between the two of you.

Example 2
You may want to go back to work after your maternity leave is finished and let your partner take the full 35 weeks.

Example 3
You may only want to take a few weeks of parental benefits and then return to work, while your partner takes the remaining time choice.

Example 4
You may decide to go back to work after you have taken a couple of weeks of parental leave. Then, a few weeks later you realize you would like to be home with your child. You can still use the weeks of parental benefits you have left as long as the weeks you take do not exceed the 52 weeks since your child's birth or placement with you for adoption.

This information and directive can be found here at Govt of Canada site
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:51 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2
Unhappyman is on a distinguished road

Thanks for the information and encouragement. I am a bit more upbeat. Maybe 2006 will be a better year.

I have taken the advise and am looking for a marriage coach. I even splurged and purchased a set of auto cd's by Dr Ellen's Light Her Fire Audio Program. I will give anything a try right about now.

I'll see if the program brings any new light or hope into my relationship
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 01-03-2006, 05:44 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: London,Ont
Posts: 65
Hanging On is on a distinguished road

I had thought about buying that program at one point...although I'm sure it is too late for me, I'd love to know what you think of it. I have a friend who is on the brink of a breakup and am doing anything I can to help them not go through what I am going through....
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 01-04-2006, 02:22 AM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 45
homer is on a distinguished road

I wouldnt spend money on any programs like that,it seems these people just want to profit off people's misery.

Im unsure if it would actually help at all.
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 01-04-2006, 12:45 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: London,Ont
Posts: 65
Hanging On is on a distinguished road

That is possibly true, but I've read a lot of stuff and learned a lLOT about the way we deal with people when we are in a relationship by reading these things - such as "divorce busters", "stop your divorce", "break-free-from-the-affair", and "". Dr.Phil's books are good too. I am doing this so that I do not make the same mistakes twice.
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