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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-29-2012, 12:26 AM
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So last year my ex petitioned the court to travel with my D without my consent. The Judge granted that, but included a clause that my ex is to notify me via email prior to any trip outside of Canada with info re: travel date, duration, location. My ex stated that she does not feel like I have any busines to know any of that info, but my ex agreed, but outside of courtroom gave me a smirk... I knew thats not going to happen.

So today one of my family members, who is a friend of my D's on facebook, asked me about my D's trip to Florida (during school for a week). I had no knowledge that she went with her mother.

Feel like they keep me for an idiot with a wallet.

Anything I should do? Thanks

Last edited by JB514; 10-29-2012 at 12:35 AM.
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Old 10-29-2012, 12:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JB514 View Post
So last year my ex petitioned the court to travel with my D without my consent. The Judge granted that, but included a clause that my ex is to notify me via email prior to any trip outside of Canada with info re: travel date, duration, location. My ex stated that she does not feel like I have any busines to know any of that info, but my ex agreed, but outside of courtroom gave me a smirk... I knew thats not going to happen.

So today one of my family members, who is a friend of my D's on facebook, asked me about my D's trip to Florida (during school for a week). I had no knowledge that she went with her mother.

Feel like they keep me for an idiot with a wallet.

Anything I should do? Thanks
CONFIRM AND DOCUMENT! If it is in an order your ex is in contempt of court. This can be very useful information for any future motions (brought by or against you).
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Old 10-29-2012, 06:34 AM
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how old is the child?
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Old 10-29-2012, 10:13 AM
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I would send the ex a registered letter stating that it has come to your attention that she has taken the child outside of the country, and that you were not previously notified of such trip. State that according to the court order she is to provide you with the trip details prior to their departure so that you can maintain communication with the child and that it is your opinion that she is in willful contempt of the court order.

State that, in future you wish that she abide by the court order and provide you with details of the trip prior to her leaving. And that failing to do so again will cause you to file a motion in court for contempt and to have the order changed back to requiring your previous consent.
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Old 10-29-2012, 11:09 AM
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Thanks everyone, so I guess a warning to the ex, or just a documentation for future motions, but not bringing it to court's attention? BTW, in Nov. we have a court date to vary cs, should I bring it up? If in the future I use this issue during a motion of some sort, as Singing Dad suggested, would the Judge say the onus was on me to bring actions forward instead of doing nothing?
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:10 PM
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Generally a motion should be about one issue only, or very closely related issues. I can't think of a way to connect any relevance of the trip to child support.

I agree with Hammerdad. It is important to assert yourself here, if you say nothing to her then you are giving tacit assent. She can claim you never said you had a problem with it, etc. You can also come off as passive/aggressive depending on how it plays out in the future.

Sending a registered letter and keeping a copy will allow you to show you asserted your RIGHT to have the court order followed. If you take it to court now, it is one incident and she will barely get a slap on the wrist. If she does it again you can show a pattern of behaviour which will be taken more seriously.
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Old 10-29-2012, 04:06 PM
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Thanks Mess.
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Old 10-29-2012, 04:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Generally a motion should be about one issue only, or very closely related issues. I can't think of a way to connect any relevance of the trip to child support.

I agree with Hammerdad. It is important to assert yourself here, if you say nothing to her then you are giving tacit assent. She can claim you never said you had a problem with it, etc. You can also come off as passive/aggressive depending on how it plays out in the future.

Sending a registered letter and keeping a copy will allow you to show you asserted your RIGHT to have the court order followed. If you take it to court now, it is one incident and she will barely get a slap on the wrist. If she does it again you can show a pattern of behaviour which will be taken more seriously.
What Mess is politely saying is:

DON'T SHOTGUN MOTION MATERIALS.

Think of a shotgun blast. It is a large pattern of buckshot. Lots of little balls of metal to do what one could have done if placed properly. Judges hate when people shotgun blast a pile of issues. It is a common problem in motion materials. Applicants laying out hundreds of unsubstantiated allegations thinking everything can be solved on a motion.

Motion = temporary relief for a specific thing (2 at most!)
Conference = attempt at a mediated solution
Trial = FINAL order

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 10-30-2012, 12:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JB514 View Post
So last year my ex petitioned the court to travel with my D without my consent. The Judge granted that, but included a clause that my ex is to notify me via email prior to any trip outside of Canada with info re: travel date, duration, location. My ex stated that she does not feel like I have any busines to know any of that info, but my ex agreed, but outside of courtroom gave me a smirk... I knew thats not going to happen.

So today one of my family members, who is a friend of my D's on facebook, asked me about my D's trip to Florida (during school for a week). I had no knowledge that she went with her mother.

Feel like they keep me for an idiot with a wallet.

Anything I should do? Thanks
Not wanting to hijack your concerns or questions, but for me this is one of the basic problems in our system, Court Orders are NOT suggestions they are ORDERS and are to be taken seriously and you need to address this in the appropriate way. It is so frustrating when it is clear what the order says and it is totally disregarded. I agree it doesnt belong with other motions, but you must somehow bring this to your x's attention. She is completely out of line!!!!
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Old 10-30-2012, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
Not wanting to hijack your concerns or questions, but for me this is one of the basic problems in our system, Court Orders are NOT suggestions they are ORDERS and are to be taken seriously and you need to address this in the appropriate way. It is so frustrating when it is clear what the order says and it is totally disregarded. I agree it doesnt belong with other motions, but you must somehow bring this to your x's attention. She is completely out of line!!!!
Agree^, and I will follow other posters' advise and send her a registered letter. But you are right, it is frustrating that she can do whatever even though it was court ordered, but I will be shot-gunning if I brought this matter to court. And the Judge would probably do nothing more than a very slight tap on the hand. Where my ex did all that just out of spite and the next day after the court order, sent me an email stating "From now on we do not have to answer to you anymore".
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