Facing motion next week

[singledad99]

I am surprised to see in my ex's and her witnesses affidavits that they are lying about everything, including about the facts that require no brain to prove otherwise. For example, in their affidavits they say, "he is frustrating the access" but then are also saying "he agreed to provide transportation for access purposes whenever the mom couldn't make it". The affidavits all combined have about 40-50 pages, all full of allegations based on "she told me he did/said this and that...". I am further surprised that such affidavits based on what my ex told other witnesses are even allowed in the court.

Do the judges really read through all affidavits? Of course, I am going to deny all the false allegations but how do such false allegations impact judges judgement? They have done a very good job in portraying me as average "male" with other "male" friends to help me around and that "my son needs female (indirectly) care and nurturing"

Should my focus be on denying the allegations or proving that I am indeed doing a good job as a parent? All I want at this point is to keep my son where he belongs to i.e. his home.

Any feed back, comments, or sharing of similar experiences will be very valuable to me.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

Personally if you have no time for a formal written rebuttal, then making a point of clarifying that the statements wee based on what was told to them by the ex, I think the judge would understand that they are only reiterating what was told to them. If they have no first hand knowledge nor were they present for said events etc, then they should not be permitted to speak on the issues. Make sure you or your lawyer points this out so that the judge understands, remember no one in the legal system makes assumptions and nothing is considered "common knowledge". If it isn't in writing it never happened, and if you do not point it out and clarify, they go with what is in front of them.

[logicalvelocity]

Perjury often runs rampant in family law and often goes unpunished. Refut and clarify if the allegations are unfounded. Don't sweat the small stuff.

They have done a very good job in portraying me as average "male" with other "male" friends to help me around and that "my son needs female (indirectly) care and nurturing"

Section 20(1) of the Children's Law Reform Act has replaced the Tender years presumption that young children need to be with their mother. Such presumption is outdated and not reflective of modern lifestyle or common sense if you will. To suggest that a male is not capable to nurture a loving relationship with their child is problematic and is in contadicition to Section 20(1) of the Children's Law Reform Act as legislated.

Times change slow. Many courts still apply the tender years presumption without saying it under the disguise of the best interest test which when applied statutorially is judicially discretioned.

No matter what allegations are brought forward, don't lose focus of the best interest of your child and remain child centered.

Custody and Access

Father and mother entitled to custody

20. (1) Except as otherwise provided in this Part, the father and the mother of a child are equally entitled to custody of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (1).



lv

[singledad99]

Thank you FL and LV for the feedback.

I had orginally written a 15 pages long affidavit telling my side of the story and denying the allegations. At the end of affidavit when I read back from a different perspective I realized I looking just as bad as her. So I rewrote the whole thing with emphasis on what I am doing for my son and how he is enjoying the stable home and focus-on-him environment. The new affidavit is only 3 1/2 pages long - no whining, no slandering, just the plain facts. This means there is a good chance the judge might actually read the whole thing. Most of all I am feeling good about not going down to her level.

Will post an update after the motion hearing.

SD

[logicalvelocity]

Good luck with the motion next week.

Dress for success and remain open, reasonable and most of all be child centered. You will find, that the decision of the issue has already been made at the onset of the motion. If any grey areas, the Judge may ask a question or two.

lv

[singledad99]

I just received an offer to settle before the motion. The offer is basically to consent to the issues at the motion.

What could be the purpose of such an offer?

Thank you.

[littleman]

this offer could mean that she is aware that you can refute what she is accusing you of an prove it or that her lawyer knows her case is not that strong......if the offer is not what you are comfortable I wouldnt accept it for sure.....the offer could be deamed as final order and then there is no turning back......if you go ahead with the motion then the judge will hear you and make their decision based on both sides not just the applicants......thats a gray area for sure and could hurt you in the long run......if it seems to be fair however and you both agree to what is best for the child/children i this matter then by all means go ahead.....be careful of fine print however

[logicalvelocity]

Well said littleman!

lv