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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 08-08-2016, 03:10 PM
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Default Ex wants to move back in

STBX and I attempted a reconciliation. He was full of promises and vigour, but of course, failed to meet any of the promises he made about reconciliation. It's been 2 months since we paused our legal battle, and it's reconciliation is not working out. He still does not live back in the matrimonial home, that I have been in for the past 18+ months of our separation.
He's tanking at work and says he can't afford his apartment and wants to move back in. What are his rights and mine, legally? He has a ton of assets that he could tap into, and has said that he'd use those assets, only if we got back together.
He's also threatened to drain me financially throughout the divorce process, should I go through with it. Just by being uncooperative and unresponsive, he's already cost me a lot of $. My next step is a court motion, but I'm very reticent to flame that fire, although I know it will have to be done. He's not paying support, but pays a good amount in mortgage and bills on the marital home.
Sorry lots of info, but mostly looking for advice on him moving back in without my consent.
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Old 08-08-2016, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magic3 View Post
He's tanking at work and says he can't afford his apartment and wants to move back in. What are his rights and mine, legally?
Unless you have an order for exclusive possession of the home you have no right to keep him out. He is free to move right back in. He has equal right to possess and reside in the home.

He doesn't require your "consent" to live in a house he equally owns unless there is an order preventing him from living in.

Orders for exclusive possession are rare and hard to get.

You should be ready for him to return.
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Old 08-08-2016, 09:02 PM
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if he has been a good amount of your bills and the mortgage then he has every right to move back in. He must be feeling the financial drain of trying to afford his own living accommodations and the house. If you dont want him to move back in then pay all the bills and the mortgage on your own to let him have the money to afford his own place. If you cannot afford the place on your own then suggest that the house be sold or you move out into a place you can afford and he moves back in to the house and take it over.
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Old 08-08-2016, 11:16 PM
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You can get into an argument with him, provoke him and then let him threaten you and use that to get an order for exclusive possession.
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Old 08-09-2016, 10:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
You can get into an argument with him, provoke him and then let him threaten you and use that to get an order for exclusive possession.
This is the same perfect advice your close friends, your siblings, your lawyer and.... my ex would have provided to you magic3. The words just spread around and voila!

They all do it this way and why not when there is no consequences to act in bad faith like that.

Last edited by mafia007; 08-09-2016 at 10:26 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 08-09-2016, 10:40 AM
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This is ridiculous advice.

You and your ex are going to get divorced. You need to start thinking reasonably and rationally. What are the next steps going to be. You cant live with him and he cant afford to carry two houses. Youre going to need to downsize and live within your means. If you cant afford that house on your own with a loan to pay him his share then you are going to have to move. Its just a house. Burdening yourself and your soon to be ex with this financially is not fair to your kids. You both need to sit down and start working out how you will move forward separately. Where that will happen. What it will look like.

You can either spend the next five years spending more than your house is worth fighting or you can be realistic and make smart decisions that dont bankrupt you emotionally and financially.
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Old 08-09-2016, 02:20 PM
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IF you are quite certain that your future holds lengthy litigation then one important thing you should start preparing is your first formal offer to settle. Your lawyer will fill you in on this. You make the best offer you can. It is important because if, down the road you end up going to trial, you have evidence that you offered a reasonable offer right at the start. Costs in the future often will depend upon an offer that you made years before. Don't let this important step get overlooked.

I would not dilly-dally and get your affairs in order. Get an appraisal done of the home (real one - not a real estate agent one).

You make mention that your STBX has many assets. You will need details/valuations. If he is a stubborn SOB then you need to get those demands for financial disclosure started.

These are just a few things to get organized. I'm sure others will have many other recommendations.
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Old 08-09-2016, 03:48 PM
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thank you Arabian. I have already offered to settle for Table CS based on his income from 2015. He refused to settle and sent a counter offer that wasn't even legal. He says his income has dropped significantly but there's no proof. He showed up at a prior mediation without completing the required documents. I would like to sell the house, but without support in place, I cannot afford to house and feed the 3 kids, who live with me. I simply do not make enough money to live in or near downtown Toronto, without some CS, which is where we both work. I'd like an agreement that spells out CS once we sell the house. So far it looks like I will have to take him to court for that.
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Old 08-09-2016, 03:52 PM
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You should be filing an application for support. Although if hes paying the household bills he could counter thats his cs.

If hes not cooperating mediation then you may need to just take action now. Speak with a lawyer and figure out how things will go through this process.

Hes going to be an ass no matter what so you have to keep a smile on your face while punching him in your head. If there is no chance of you working it out then its best to get moving now.
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Old 08-09-2016, 03:55 PM
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I'm not looking for retro CS. I need support for when the bill paying ends, when we sell the house. His lack of cooperation isn't going to end once the house is sold, but my bills and obligations will increase.
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