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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 12:05 PM
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You know we did not use lawyers to do up this agreement. The ex just found a template on the internet, we signed and so did our witness. I find the SA to be loosie goosie! My lawyer even said that when she review it. I am looking to solidify a lot of items on it to make it more clear because it has obviously caused me some issues, but I am sure this will not settle anytime soon. right now, it only says that we each get the 2 weeks. it says nothing about the parent approving it or informing the other parent. We have just been doing it via email over the years.
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  #42 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 12:46 PM
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You say years that this has been done by e-mail, well then you have a Status Quo on the process and that what counts.


Has she approved it in the past and can you show this for all those years?

The fact is best interest of the kids and by her refusing she is not acting in best interest.


I've been on the other side and you must be clear that no other items are in effect for the notice.My own agreement was a joint self-written agreement we did not have a detailed vacation booking. We had some issues with this and have since through our lawyers write up an amendment that reflects the changes we wanted to bring.
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcj2012 View Post
right now, it only says that we each get the 2 weeks. it says nothing about the parent approving it or informing the other parent. We have just been doing it via email over the years.
So if the agreement says you are entitled to it, but it doesn't say that either of you are required to consent to the dates, than you don't need her consent.

You informed her of the dates per the agreement, that is all you are obligated to do. That you have done it via email for the past number of years, and that (I assume) both of your vacations have overridden some of each others parents time, you've followed the familiar routine.

The ex is blowing smoke. And should you have to drag her into court on the matter, she would get burned.

Just keep all emails simple that you've provided your vacation date per the agreement. That vacation time overrides parenting time, per the agreement. That this is what you've each done historically. That should she withhold the children from you during your vacation time, you will seek the appropriate relief in court and seek costs. Repeat the same thing over and over. Don't give in, and should it appear like she may actually withhold the kids, file a motion to enforce your vacation time. Include all the emails in your filings/affidavit.
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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 12:59 PM
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Yes we have been exchanging emails with regards to vacations over the years. I have successfully gone on vacations with my children via her email approvals. However, never without a battle. A few of those vacations came at a cost. She would approve a vacation then renege it. Her famous line is "I no longer approve that vacation until you agree to.....blah blah blah" it was always asking me to give her a day here or a weekend. I have always replied with but you already approved this. So yes, I have this all on email and am willing to give these examples to the judge, if he is willing to go through the loooooong email threads. I need to amend my agreement to say that once approved she cannot take it back for any reason at all. I have always given in to her tactics because I would like to choose my battle, some things are not worth it, so I just give give give.

@good_mom. since I am in lawyer transition, I may have to go at this one alone. Do I file a motion for access to the kids on XX day to XX day, as per her already approved email? do I attach the emails and do I need to go in front of a judge? Thanks for your help.
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  #45 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcj2012 View Post
I need to amend my agreement to say that once approved she cannot take it back for any reason at all.
You don't need to amend your agreement to do any such thing. Why would you give her any leverage or require her agreement in the first place?

I would amend the agreement to simply state that each parent is entitled to (whatever vacation time you already have) and that each parent shall inform the other parent by X date each year of their vacation. That the parent who has March Break gets first choice, but must advise the other first (by April 15 or whatever) and then the other parent must provide their dates by May 1. That failure to provide the vacation periods by such dates does not negate the entitlement to vacation, but it they lose their priority
in choosing their vacation dates and such dates shall then require approval of the other parent, which shall not be unreasonably withheld.

So in certain instances, where you are late in giving notice of your vacation, you may need the ex's consent. But if you are never late in providing your dates, you should never require her consent. Doing anything else is just a recipe for drama.
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  #46 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 01:53 PM
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thanks hammerdad, I will take your wording into consideration.

In the meantime, what to do about my summer vacation? should I still file a motion?
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Old 06-17-2015, 02:03 PM
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Now, I don't know of this is possible and others will be able to give you more advice.

Send ex e-mail with the set expectations of time date of pickup. Advise her that if she refused to send kids that you will then file a motion seeking all cost of the trip and the court cost.

By then you will have a lawyer in place and this puts the responsibility on her for the outcome of the trip.

That what I would do but I'm not a lawyer and others have more experience.
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  #48 (permalink)  
Old 06-17-2015, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcj2012 View Post
thanks hammerdad, I will take your wording into consideration.

In the meantime, what to do about my summer vacation? should I still file a motion?
In the meantime, I would advise the ex that you intend on exercising your vacation time as previous advised and agreed upon. Notice was properly provided and expenses have been incurred. That retracting her prior agreement to the vacation time is unreasonable and not in the children's best interests. Should she persist with her stance, that you will file a motion seeking to enforce your agreed upon vacation time and will seek costs.

Should the ex respond with anything other than "OK fine, they will go. FU you prick", you file a motion to enforce. It likely won't be an emergency motion, but could turn into one if you drag your feet. You enclose the ex's correspondence where she tries to blackmail you with withholding her consent to something she already agreed upon in your affidavit. You also enclose the correspondence where she backed out of you getting fathers day after she got mothers day. You then serve the ex. That may clue her in that you actually mean business and that if she continues, she will have to justify her actions to a judge, who likely won't be sympathetic.
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