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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2013, 07:05 AM
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Default Ex. has another child to support via FRO

I will start with a little history.

Been divorced for 6 years.
2 children
I was recently re-married.

I just found out last night that my ex. had a one night stand with a woman about 4 years ago and he has a child with her.

My ex has taken me to court numerous times to seek 50/50 custody this less child support. After years of fighting this in court i gave in in June 2012. His child support payment dropped significantly. Before this happened he would always complain that he never had any money. (He makes $100,000 per year).

I got re-married in July of this year and shortly after that he tells me he is taking me back to court to get out of paying child support because my household income is the same as his. And he still has no money and is loosing everything. I told him to take me to court then. Sick of his crap.

Last night he tells me he has another child that he has been paying child support and RESP to for about 3-4 years. The mother of his other child is on social assistance and they took my ex to court to have him pay guideline amount of child support for her child with him. He lost and now has to pay much more than what he apparently was paying all these years.

So now he is saying he can't afford to pay for our 2 children and his new child. Hence taking me to court to get out of child support for my children. Not to mention I have been asking him for years to contribute to the kids RESP that I contribute to.

What happens in situations like these where your ex has to pay child support for another child and then 2 of your own? Will this affect the amount his pays to my 2 children?

And can he claim undue hardship in this situation?
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Old 09-21-2013, 07:38 AM
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I am thinking he maybe out of luck. Not sure though. Just because you got married doesnt mean that his obligations end. Turn it around on him and ask if he remarried would he pay more CS because his household income went up?

why would you fight him all the years about the 50/50?
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Old 09-21-2013, 08:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
You are somewhat right about the ex "being out of luck"..he does have an obligation to fend for their kids until the usual "becomes an adult" stipulations.

You also asked a valid question that most poster in this situation, tend to leave out.....yes, why the fight over 50/50? If it's to do with abuse, alcohol/drugs et al, then most people will concur on that, if it's otherwise, then well....
What I dont understand is why when a dad wants 50/50 the mother says its because they (dad) wants to pay less CS. Not that the father wants to be and equal parent in their child(ren)s life. When a woman doesnt want the dad to have 50/50 they always try to find fault with the father. I have a feeling its mostly because they dont want their CS to get cut down. I could be wrong.
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Old 09-21-2013, 09:10 AM
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He was a shift worker at the time and wanted to leave the kids with randon women in his life at the time or he asked for varied scheduled where the kids would have to bounce from house to house every couple of days. At the time the kids were too young for that. H
Well then his situation changed due to criminal charges layed by another woman and he was no longer alloewed to work as a road cop on shift and has been placed on days. The kids got older and he wasn't a shift worker. Hence 50/50 now. Does that explain it enough??? That was not the point of my thread.
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Old 09-21-2013, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babygirl View Post
He was a shift worker at the time and wanted to leave the kids with randon women in his life at the time or he asked for varied scheduled where the kids would have to bounce from house to house every couple of days. At the time the kids were too young for that. H
Well then his situation changed due to criminal charges layed by another woman and he was no longer alloewed to work as a road cop on shift and has been placed on days. The kids got older and he wasn't a shift worker. Hence 50/50 now. Does that explain it enough??? That was not the point of my thread.
then why mention it then?? All you had to say is my ex wants to stop paying CS because i remarried and household incomes are now the same. You put all the extra stuff in there so expect comments.
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Old 09-21-2013, 02:57 PM
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Your children are first born and have first priority in the pecking order of things I believe. If he goes out and father's another 6 kids that is not your problem. Yes do let him take you to court.

I'd quit conversing with this person. Email only. His problems are not your problems. He has a responsibility to support his children.
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:46 PM
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The existence of another child and the associated expense to him should not affect his obligations to you and his previous children in the least. He should learn to keep it in his pants if he doesn't want additional financial implications.

Previously given advice to you remains valid. It would be very very challenging for someone making $100k to claim undue hardship. Maybe if they had about ten kids from a bunch of different mothers, and your spouse made millions.

Have you thought about working towards having your children get an opportunity to get to know their half-sibling? Does he get access to all three at the same time? I'm guessing he doesn't see the third child much if he was able to keep this a secret.
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Old 09-22-2013, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
The existence of another child and the associated expense to him should not affect his obligations to you and his previous children in the least. He should learn to keep it in his pants if he doesn't want additional financial implications.

Previously given advice to you remains valid. It would be very very challenging for someone making $100k to claim undue hardship. Maybe if they had about ten kids from a bunch of different mothers, and your spouse made millions.

Have you thought about working towards having your children get an opportunity to get to know their half-sibling? Does he get access to all three at the same time? I'm guessing he doesn't see the third child much if he was able to keep this a secret.
Thank you for your response. It was helpful.

I just found out two days ago about my children's half brother. From what I understand my ex has never met his third child. He has kept him a secret. I think my children would want the opportunity to get to know him but not sure if my ex has plans for that.
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Old 09-22-2013, 01:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babygirl View Post
I will start with a little history.

Been divorced for 6 years.
2 children
I was recently re-married.

I just found out last night that my ex. had a one night stand with a woman about 4 years ago and he has a child with her.

My ex has taken me to court numerous times to seek 50/50 custody this less child support. After years of fighting this in court i gave in in June 2012. His child support payment dropped significantly. Before this happened he would always complain that he never had any money. (He makes $100,000 per year).

I got re-married in July of this year and shortly after that he tells me he is taking me back to court to get out of paying child support because my household income is the same as his. And he still has no money and is loosing everything. I told him to take me to court then. Sick of his crap.

Last night he tells me he has another child that he has been paying child support and RESP to for about 3-4 years. The mother of his other child is on social assistance and they took my ex to court to have him pay guideline amount of child support for her child with him. He lost and now has to pay much more than what he apparently was paying all these years.

So now he is saying he can't afford to pay for our 2 children and his new child. Hence taking me to court to get out of child support for my children. Not to mention I have been asking him for years to contribute to the kids RESP that I contribute to.

What happens in situations like these where your ex has to pay child support for another child and then 2 of your own? Will this affect the amount his pays to my 2 children?

And can he claim undue hardship in this situation?
Hmm. One part of this really caught my eye.

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
I am thinking he maybe out of luck. Not sure though. Just because you got married doesnt mean that his obligations end. Turn it around on him and ask if he remarried would he pay more CS because his household income went up?

why would you fight him all the years about the 50/50?
I see others noticed it too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
What I dont understand is why when a dad wants 50/50 the mother says its because they (dad) wants to pay less CS. Not that the father wants to be and equal parent in their child(ren)s life. When a woman doesnt want the dad to have 50/50 they always try to find fault with the father. I have a feeling its mostly because they dont want their CS to get cut down. I could be wrong.
I feel the same way. From personal experience and from many posts I read here. The first concern vocalised is always "my support will go down". Makes my head spin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by babygirl View Post
He was a shift worker at the time and wanted to leave the kids with randon women in his life at the time or he asked for varied scheduled where the kids would have to bounce from house to house every couple of days. At the time the kids were too young for that. H
Well then his situation changed due to criminal charges layed by another woman and he was no longer alloewed to work as a road cop on shift and has been placed on days. The kids got older and he wasn't a shift worker. Hence 50/50 now. Does that explain it enough??? That was not the point of my thread.
Not to me, it doesn't explain it well enough. But you don't owe me any explanations. You might owe your kids an explanation one day.

And your right, that wasn't the point of this thread. The point, as I understand, is 'what will happen to your money?'.

Makes my head spin.
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Old 09-23-2013, 07:49 AM
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hmm.. first born kids first, I wonder if we should apply this in intact families and spend more money on first born child, or to the support reciepients, so if they have 2 children from two different fathers, and receive child support for both, and just to simplify things, she receives $1000 for the first child, and receives $300 for the second. Not even bringing into a question how her part of the child support is allocated, how do we enforce that she spends themoney she receives on first child?

Anyways, if your ex had kids less then 40% he would be out of luck, but considering that you have 50-50%, and that their lifestyles should be similar at both houses (remember Contino case), he might might end up paying you less, in my opinion.
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