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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2016, 05:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Agreed but at the moment they are with her full time right? You arent 50/50 yet?
Remember, she changed the locks. I was forced out of the MH and lost access to my kids right from this instance. Since, she has denied all request for access. Why I am not at 50/50 yet? Because of the slowish court process. After two years with mom, with her influence, they might feel unsecured with me. I have to work to prove it wrong. S16 will change his mind eventually. D14 is completely alienated. As you were Rockscan against your own father. Too bad for her as there is little I can do to change that and any attempts would be hopeless. I will use what is happening with D14 to save my relationship with D8.

Being said, the spouse who lost access or decided to leave to improve a better lifestyle by avoiding conflicts, should not by excluded from his rights. To allow a spouse with full possession of the MH and no equity to the other creates a financial prejudice as he won't be able to get accommodation to have access with his children for a long period forward. Other points to consider are; the choices the spouse has made since the separation. If she decided to cut a bit on her business because she was starting to feel tired, this should be her decision and should not rely on the other spouse and on her own kids.
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Old 10-19-2016, 05:07 PM
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Agreed. I was having a hard time remembering your case. Im not saying shes right, Im saying try to keep your anger or unhappiness towards her to yourself and/or this forum and remember that while this situation isnt ideal, your kids get a stable home for the next few months while you try to hammer things out.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2016, 05:57 PM
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This is absolutely not a revenge thing. It is only a question of being fair to both parties. We all need to move on to our new life, and we surely need the ressources that we both had invested in during our marriage. For all the children, they should look at it as a new start, a new life at each side of their parents.
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Old 11-17-2016, 02:45 PM
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Default The end is getting farther and endless

Now here it is.

Trial postponed from January 2017 to May 2017.

Title of MH was transferred in her name alone and the equity of the house will be argued at Trial vs my government pension. (basically, access to immediate asset vs future asset).

Already offered two settlement that were turned down. I requested same on their side but they just replied by email (not formal offers) and they are mostly demands... not offers. She refused to give more access and she won't accept my parenting plan. Now that she has the MH under her sole name, she won't negotiate as she got what she wanted.

Haven't seen D14 since last August. S16 has increased his access to include an overnight on Saturday to leave on Sunday night instead.

D9 has expressed her desire to stay much longer but doesn't really know. She is not sure and she is not confortable talking about it. It's obvious she is hiding information behind but I can tell she would like to let it out. We've been on that schedule now since last March (every Thursday from 4h to 7h pm and every second Saturday from 10h am to 8h pm). I've requested over three times to increase the access to add an overnight until the schedule is progressively reaching a 50/50 parenting time schedule. All request were refused. I've asked more access for the Holidays and they were also denied.

The CL recommended in front of Justice at SC that both D's follow a therapy of reunification with their father. Justice confirmed with my ex and her lawyer that they agreed to it. I took the step to have it going on but my ex suddenly decided to turn it down this week. She refused to sign in the registration stating their was no order from the Court. The therapist centre will be sending a letter to confirm they had to close the file because of her refusal.

Question/Advice.

Should I just keep on asking for more access and document everything until Trial in next May or should I request a Motion to increase the access progressively and to add the Holiday schedule and others such as March Break? Seems long to ask for more access for over the next 5 months when you know the answer ahead.

Thanks

Last edited by mafia007; 11-17-2016 at 03:39 PM. Reason: Typo
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Old 11-21-2016, 01:54 AM
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Any tips if I should bring a motion to request more access or should I just wait until trial in Spring?
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Old 11-21-2016, 08:57 PM
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Play the long game.... 5 months is nothing in a lifetime. I know its hard but they are trying to break you. Super standard practice....

Is the house owned free and clear?

How did she get in her name (she would need to qualify for the mortgage)?

Why was the trial "adjourned" for 5 months....
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Old 11-22-2016, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Play the long game.... 5 months is nothing in a lifetime. I know its hard but they are trying to break you. Super standard practice....
The schedule right now doesn't work. With the travel on my every Thursday parental time of 3h only really gives me less than 2h. It doesn't give enough time to do anything and the kids must rush to eat their dinner. S16 hate it so much that he started skipping the visits to go to his friends' place instead. I suggested to drop that Thursday nights and add it to the Friday night during my Temporary EOW access I have right now and STBX just refused. Since the kids doesn't like it, it would be in their best interest to change it so that they won't have to rush anymore. Also, we've been following that schedule since last March so D9 should now be allowed for overnights at my place. I could have wait until Trial but since it was postponed from January to May, I don't want to give the impression that I accepted this shitty schedule.

Quote:
Is the house owned free and clear?

How did she get in her name (she would need to qualify for the mortgage)?
I told my lawyer for the past year that no matter what, if the house is transferred, sold or else... I need my equity and must make sure I get it before I am released from the mortgage. She screwed up. The MH was transferred to STBX as she only qualified for the outstanding balance of the mortgage and my lawyer said that the equity is always negotiated during the equalization process. This is BS and I have provided her with enormous case law where the share of the equity was concluded way before trial. I must fight at trial to get some equity in exchange of my pension. Now that she got the house, she still want more, she is not open to negotiation and all my requests for access are being denied.

Quote:
Why was the trial "adjourned" for 5 months....
There were too many cases that were being scheduled to trial in January. They kept the oldest one in January and all the cases that were just added to the list were postponed to the next list.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 12-16-2016, 12:54 PM
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Updates...

All requests for increase of regular access denied.

All requests for Holiday access denied.

Request to initiate a therapy with my D's denied.

Separation agreement and proposed parental plan not accepted.

This is going to be a long game until trial in next May 2017!

I know it will be impossible to reach an agreement before May so basically I am heading to trial. It will give me over 4 months to prepare my case, get advise on how to prepare my trial, how to present my exhibits and how to question the witnesses. I know there is place in Ottawa where they can provide you with procedural instructions for 30 minutes each visits so I am definitely going to use their services for my trial.
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Old 12-16-2016, 01:29 PM
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I agree with Links on this one. Play the long game and don't let them break you.

YES...keep asking for access....ask for mediation.... ask for www.ourfamilywizard.com .. etc.

Have you taken parenting after separation classes? Went and updated your first aid/CPR? Get some things going in your favour while you wait.

You want as many denials as you can get. I like your "denial list" in your last message. She's even denying therapeutic reunification that she initially agreed to. She's going to look like a high conflict dumbass.

Her most significant ammunition will be "status quo".....but remember it's "manufactured"..false status quo. Not once have you ever acquiescenced to this situation...and your denials on paper prove it.
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Old 12-16-2016, 02:51 PM
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We did mediation in June 2015 and it was a waste. Her lawyer is proposing mediation again but she already give her position which is not acceptable on my part. So mediation would only be a waste of money.

Good advise though, during those 4 months, I will continue to document and I will look into parental sessions I can attend.
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