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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2016, 12:13 PM
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Should also note that if you are ordered to pay her half your pension you still have to pay that amount now not in the future when you get the pension. So even if the judge ordered her to pay you half the house, if it was the same amount of the $$ you would pay her from your pension, you get nothing. If I were you I wouldnt be sitting waiting for the cash cow to lay an egg. Assume that you get nothing and be happy if you get anything. There are two big assets in play. Both are being held for a final decision.
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Old 10-19-2016, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Should also note that if you are ordered to pay her half your pension you still have to pay that amount now not in the future when you get the pension. So even if the judge ordered her to pay you half the house, if it was the same amount of the $$ you would pay her from your pension, you get nothing. If I were you I wouldnt be sitting waiting for the cash cow to lay an egg. Assume that you get nothing and be happy if you get anything. There are two big assets in play. Both are being held for a final decision.
Dividing a pension is different. If he is ordered to pay her half his pension, it would come out of that pension, his future asset, and it stays a future asset for her as well. His future pension payments would then be smaller, and she would have a locked-in RRSP. But he would get his share of the house, a current asset. So they would each end up with balanced assets, some for retirement, and some useable now to buy a new (smaller) house for each of them.

If he is ordered to give up his share of the house but keep his whole pension, that's nice for his retirement, but he has nowhere to live in the short term. Meanwhile, his ex gets a house, and has decades left to worry about her retirement.

It's much better if a judge orders that they each get some form of both asset. But if his ex has good arguments why the kids should stay in this particular house, he'll have to come up with good arguments why not. A primary one would be his own need to have a down payment to buy a house for the kids to live in while with him.

And if she gets the whole house asset, despite her argument being that the kids needed to live there, NOTHING stops her from selling it the next day and dumping the whole amount into something else.
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Old 10-19-2016, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I disagree. Don't stop asking for access. I sent a blitz e-mail weekly which included:

a) Request to use "ourfamilywizard.com" for more effective communication
b) Exchange Parenting Plans
c) Request to go over Separation Agreements
d) Request access and/or send a graduated access schedule leading to overnights and 50/50.
e) Always be reasonable and find ways to avoid court, which is the primary objective.

Remember to include an offer to settle at least once or twice/month.

Let her keep saying "No" in writing. Dont stop asking.

I made a color coded "Access Denial" calendar and the judge LOVED it. The last thing you want is any kind of acquiescence or to show you're accepting of this in any way. Never stop asking .. keep collecting documented denials....they'll come in handy later.
Thanks LF32,

The color coded "Access Denial" Calendar ; should I also show the historical denials or just from now on?
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Old 10-19-2016, 12:43 PM
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Huh, thats weird. My partners ex had to pay him a portion of her pension and a portion of the house value. It was a lump sum so she got a second mortgage to pay him out. This is one of the big bones that has dragged the kids in too that mom is broke because he took her money. She has a house that keeps increasing in value because of the location and a pension that keeps growing. So while she is broke NOW, when she sells the house and retires she will be fine.
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Old 10-19-2016, 01:33 PM
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This was my offer. To sell the house and split the equity. This way, both parties has funds to move on with their life and each gets a good share of the pension for their retirement. See the case law below under the paragraphes related to "Pension". This is my situation.

Nadendla v. Nadendla, 2014 ONSC 3796 (CanLII) at this link:

http://canlii.ca/t/g7w97
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Old 10-19-2016, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Huh, thats weird. My partners ex had to pay him a portion of her pension and a portion of the house value. It was a lump sum so she got a second mortgage to pay him out. This is one of the big bones that has dragged the kids in too that mom is broke because he took her money. She has a house that keeps increasing in value because of the location and a pension that keeps growing. So while she is broke NOW, when she sells the house and retires she will be fine.
I suspect that rather than having her pension administrator split it off into a locked in RRSP for him, she made up the difference by getting a loan instead. So her pension is untouched but she had to go into further debt to accomplish it. Her choice.

I gave my ex other assets so I could keep my full pension.

It probably also depends on the employer, or the nature of the pension.
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Old 10-19-2016, 03:12 PM
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That could be another solution suitable to my needs. I will even suggest it in my offers to settle. She could be ordered to Refinance only for a portion of her share of my pension in exchange of my equity of the house for the same portion. We know she doesn't qualify for the full amount but maybe 40-50% of it she would. If she gets ordered to do so and she doesn't qualify, then the house will be listed for sale. That is a fair game for both.
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Old 10-19-2016, 03:43 PM
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Maybe I missed something but Im having a hard time with this intense desire to sell the house. To me its beginning to feel more and more like you don't want your ex to have anything and less like you need money. Don't your kids live there? Your ex isn't able to get a mortgage or loan. Plus she has legal expenses too. Yes you're paying support but you're also pissed that your ex is living in a house you want equity from. She lives there with the kids. Are they supposed to sell and find something else and THEN deal with the financial fall out when it all settles?

You're angry she was given title and you aren't getting paid but your kids are probably terrified that they wont have a place to live.
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Old 10-19-2016, 03:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Maybe I missed something but Im having a hard time with this intense desire to sell the house. To me its beginning to feel more and more like you don't want your ex to have anything and less like you need money. Don't your kids live there? Your ex isn't able to get a mortgage or loan. Plus she has legal expenses too. Yes you're paying support but you're also pissed that your ex is living in a house you want equity from. She lives there with the kids. Are they supposed to sell and find something else and THEN deal with the financial fall out when it all settles?

You're angry she was given title and you aren't getting paid but your kids are probably terrified that they wont have a place to live.
I gave her plenty of time (2014 to 2016) to make the arrangement with the bank to get her loan and buy my interest. This is part of the divorce. You win on some issues, you lose on others. You cannot only WIN it all. I would like to remind you that the father also has a home to suit their kids. Why would mom would stay in the castle with the children and dad would be couching from a basement to another.

Don't forget that divorce happen and the results must be reflected on both parties without creating a significant prejudice to the other. The children has a right to spend quality time with both of their parents in a new location, no matter the outcomes.
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Old 10-19-2016, 04:24 PM
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Agreed but at the moment they are with her full time right? You arent 50/50 yet?
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